59+ Things a Man Should Never Do After Age 30

robwbright

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I thought this was pretty funny - the guy on espn radio was talking about it, so I looked it up.

Others added, as well as starting a list for women past age 25 (since women allegedly mature faster). ;)

Add some if you can think of any . . .


From Esquire Magazine- 59 things a man should never do past age 30.

1. Coin his own nickname.

2. Use a wallet that is fastened with Velcro.

3. Rank his friends in order of best, second best, and so on.

4. Hacky sack. [I need enligtening on this termonology]

5. Name his penis his name plus junior. [ this one I totally agree with! Hmm..., let your wife or girl name it instead!LOL]

6. Hang art with tape.

7. Hang "The Scream", unless he stole it from the Munch museum in Oslo.

8. Ask a policeman, "You ever shoot anybody with that thing?"

9. Ask a woman, "Hey, you got a license for that ass?" [this one is lame!]

10. Skip. [Enough said - oh boy!]

11. Take a camera to a nude beach.

12. Let his father do his taxes.

13. Tap on the glass.

14. Shout out a response to "Are you ready to rock?" [even at a concert?]

15. Use the word collated on his resume.

16. Hold a weekly house meeting with roommates.

17. Name pets after Middle Earth characters.

18. Jokingly flash gang signs while posing for wedding photos.

19. Give shout-outs.

20. Use numbers in place of words or locations, such as "the 411" for information, or "the 313" for Detroit.

21. Hug amusement-park characters.

22. Wear Disney-themed neckties.

23. Wake up to a "morning zoo."

24. Compare the trajectory of his life with those of the characters in Billy Joel's "Scenes from an Italian Restaurant."

25. Request extra sprinkles.

26. Air drum.

27. Choose 69 as his jersey number.

28. Eat Oreo cookies in stages.

29. Volunteer to be a magician's assistant.

30. Sleep on a bare mattress.

31. End a conversation with "later skater."

32. Hold his lighter up at a concert.

33. Publicly greet friends by shouting, "What's up, you whore?"

34. Wear Converse All Stars with a tuxedo.

35. Propose via stadium Jumbotron.

36. Decide anything based on the ruminations of Howard Stern.

37. Call "shotgun" before getting in a car.

38. Dispute someone else's call of "shotgun."

39. Whine.

40. Mist up during Aerosmith's "Dream On."

41. Purchase fireworks.

42. Google the word vagina.

43. Ride a pony.

44. Sport an ironic mustache.

45. Hit 13 against a 6.

46. Organize a party bus.

47. Say "two points" every time he throws something in the trash.

48. Buy a novelty postcard in another country of topless women on a beach and write, "Wish you were here" on it.

49. Keg stands.

50. Purchase home-brewing paraphernalia.

51. The John Travolta point-to-the-ceiling-point-to-the-floor dance move; also that one from Pulp Fiction.

52. Put less than ten dollars' worth of gas in the tank.

53. Keep a minuscule amount of marijuana extremely well hidden.

54. Read The Fountainhead.

55. Watch the Pink Floyd laser light show at a planetarium.

56. Refer to his girlfriend's breasts as "the twins."

57. Own a vanity plate.

58. Whippits.

59. Say goodbye to anyone by tapping his chest and even so much as whispering, "Peace out."

--------------

60. Don't peel out leaving work or in gravel.

61. Don't wear a team jersey to a sit down restaurant.

62. No braiding your mullet.

63. No ordering fires with your steak.

64. When giving your girlfriend or wife a goodbye kiss - no tongue - unless you're leaving to go to prison.

65. No Keystone Light or Milwaukee's Best

66. Never wait in line for an autograph, especially after throwing a 7 year old boy out of the way.

67. Don't decide if shirt is clean by smelling it.

--------------------------------

Things women shouldn't do after age 25 - from the chick on ESPN radio.

1. Don't not stay on your parent's cell phone plan

2. Stop shopping in the junior's department - Limited 2 is not appropriate.

3. Don't use hearts to dot your letter "I"

4. Quit drinking beer - you're not in college anymore. How about some wine or a nice mixed drink - they're sexier.
 

squeaky

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robwbright said:
Things women shouldn't do after age 25 - from the chick on ESPN radio.

1. Don't not stay on your parent's cell phone plan .

Agreed!!! (I have a friend, almost 25, still on Mommy & Daddys plan)

2. Stop shopping in the junior's department - Limited 2 is not appropriate.

Limited 2 is not appropriate...but if you fit in the Junior's clothes still, I feel it's completely acceptable! As long as I stay the size I am, I will still shop in Junior's.

3. Don't use hearts to dot your letter "I"

Women should stop doing that after 6th grade...

4. Quit drinking beer - you're not in college anymore. How about some wine or a nice mixed drink - they're sexier.

And a woman should care about what she drinks being sexy because...? :think:
 

Vic

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Does anyone actually do any of those things?
 

*KISSofDEATH*

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:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
 

robwbright

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Vic said:
Does anyone actually do any of those things?

Actually, I've personally witnessed (or done) several of them.

Witnessed: 2, 8, 14, 18, 22, 32

Done: 37, 47, 51, 52, 56, 57. :cool:

I think I saw a pic of MXGirl230 wearing chucks in her wedding dress . . . well, maybe it was adidas. ;)
 

squeaky

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I was going to wear white Alpinestars under my wedding dress...but I didn't have the extra cash laying around to buy another pair of boots!
 

Masterphil

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squeaky said:
I was going to wear white Alpinestars under my wedding dress...but I didn't have the extra cash laying around to buy another pair of boots!
.

What up, whore?
That'd be pimp!
Peace out (thump-thump)
:laugh:
 

OldassKDX

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Sure mixed drinks are sexier....if you find diabetic comas sexy. If you've ever tried one of those 8 dollar sugar bombs you realize that German guys in the Milwakee area have this alcoholic beverage thing figured out. Besides, fun girls drink beer..... real fun girls hand you a fiver and tell you "get whatever's cheap."
 

MXGirl230

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robwbright said:
I think I saw a pic of MXGirl230 wearing chucks in her wedding dress . . . well, maybe it was adidas. ;)

You mean these..

Squeaky I was going to where my Alpinestars also...well for the fetch the garter belt thing...but our vehicle ended up where our Mustang rental came from...
 

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Rich Rohrich

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robwbright said:
54. Read The Fountainhead..

I'd be willing to wager that the average Sports Talk radio listener can't spell "The Fountainhead" let alone read it. :whoa:

.......maybe you should add Repeat ANYTHING you heard on Sports Talk radio to the list. :p
 

MrLuckey

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I'd much rather have a real down to earth, fun and laidback girl who'd at least consider wearing mx boots or tennis shoes to her wedding and have a beer than some stuffy ole biotch. Just my preference.

Go Skweeks and MxGirl! :ride:
 

squeaky

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MXGirl230 said:
You mean these..

Squeaky I was going to where my Alpinestars also...well for the fetch the garter belt thing...but our vehicle ended up where our Mustang rental came from...

That's exactly what I was going to wear mine for!!!
 

robwbright

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MrLuckey said:
I'd much rather have a real down to earth, fun and laidback girl who'd at least consider wearing mx boots or tennis shoes to her wedding and have a beer than some stuffy ole biotch. Just my preference.

Go Skweeks and MxGirl! :ride:

ME TOO!
 

Jamz

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My wife wore motorcycle boots at our wedding. She sprained her ankle 36 hours before the wedding went to the the hospital and ended up on crutches. She decided she was going to walk the isle so she strapped her foot in tight and went for it. She also had my sister bring me mine to wear too. So I ended up in a white tux with black motorcle boots and her in her white wedding gown and black motocycle boots. We have a picture on our wall of us showing our boots off :-). Right then I knew she would survive being with me!
 

bsmith

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Think I'll read Fowtenheid next week while on the friggen Airplane for 20 hours. :ohmy:
 

MXGirl230

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squeaky said:
That's exactly what I was going to wear mine for!!!

:aj: :)

Does #22 also apply to Disney themed T-shirts?? I saw a guy the other day (probably in early 40s) wearing a T-shirt that said and had "Dopey" on it...
 

Rich Rohrich

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bsmith said:
T while on the friggen Airplane for 20 hours. :ohmy:


20 hours on an AIRPLANE :whoa::whoa::whoa:
 

bsmith

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Well, I'll be in the Airplane/Airports from 5:30am PST to 6:00PM EST Tuesday, and then fly home Thursday night. I can usually finish a book during one of these trips!
 

bsmith

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MXGirl230 said:
:aj: :)

Does #22 also apply to Disney themed T-shirts?? I saw a guy the other day (probably in early 40s) wearing a T-shirt that said and had "Dopey" on it...

He was wearing a fanny pack and sweat pants to, wasn't he :ohmy:
 

MXGirl230

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bsmith said:
He was wearing a fanny pack and sweat pants to, wasn't he :ohmy:

Sweat pants, no fanny pack...but FLIP FLOPS!!!!
 

squeaky

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MXGirl230 said:
Sweat pants, no fanny pack...but FLIP FLOPS!!!!

:yikes: No man ever should wear flip flops!
 

kmccune

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Whats wrong with beer!
And I have a very nice pair of flip flops that say Guinness on the strap :nener:

PS .. Scotch is nice too, but $$$
 

MXGirl230

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squeaky said:
:yikes: No man ever should wear flip flops!

EXACTLY!! Especially with jeans, well anything...
 
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