robwbright
Member
- Apr 8, 2005
- 2,283
- 0
I thought this was pretty funny - the guy on espn radio was talking about it, so I looked it up.
Others added, as well as starting a list for women past age 25 (since women allegedly mature faster). ;)
Add some if you can think of any . . .
From Esquire Magazine- 59 things a man should never do past age 30.
1. Coin his own nickname.
2. Use a wallet that is fastened with Velcro.
3. Rank his friends in order of best, second best, and so on.
4. Hacky sack. [I need enligtening on this termonology]
5. Name his penis his name plus junior. [ this one I totally agree with! Hmm..., let your wife or girl name it instead!LOL]
6. Hang art with tape.
7. Hang "The Scream", unless he stole it from the Munch museum in Oslo.
8. Ask a policeman, "You ever shoot anybody with that thing?"
9. Ask a woman, "Hey, you got a license for that ass?" [this one is lame!]
10. Skip. [Enough said - oh boy!]
11. Take a camera to a nude beach.
12. Let his father do his taxes.
13. Tap on the glass.
14. Shout out a response to "Are you ready to rock?" [even at a concert?]
15. Use the word collated on his resume.
16. Hold a weekly house meeting with roommates.
17. Name pets after Middle Earth characters.
18. Jokingly flash gang signs while posing for wedding photos.
19. Give shout-outs.
20. Use numbers in place of words or locations, such as "the 411" for information, or "the 313" for Detroit.
21. Hug amusement-park characters.
22. Wear Disney-themed neckties.
23. Wake up to a "morning zoo."
24. Compare the trajectory of his life with those of the characters in Billy Joel's "Scenes from an Italian Restaurant."
25. Request extra sprinkles.
26. Air drum.
27. Choose 69 as his jersey number.
28. Eat Oreo cookies in stages.
29. Volunteer to be a magician's assistant.
30. Sleep on a bare mattress.
31. End a conversation with "later skater."
32. Hold his lighter up at a concert.
33. Publicly greet friends by shouting, "What's up, you whore?"
34. Wear Converse All Stars with a tuxedo.
35. Propose via stadium Jumbotron.
36. Decide anything based on the ruminations of Howard Stern.
37. Call "shotgun" before getting in a car.
38. Dispute someone else's call of "shotgun."
39. Whine.
40. Mist up during Aerosmith's "Dream On."
41. Purchase fireworks.
42. Google the word vagina.
43. Ride a pony.
44. Sport an ironic mustache.
45. Hit 13 against a 6.
46. Organize a party bus.
47. Say "two points" every time he throws something in the trash.
48. Buy a novelty postcard in another country of topless women on a beach and write, "Wish you were here" on it.
49. Keg stands.
50. Purchase home-brewing paraphernalia.
51. The John Travolta point-to-the-ceiling-point-to-the-floor dance move; also that one from Pulp Fiction.
52. Put less than ten dollars' worth of gas in the tank.
53. Keep a minuscule amount of marijuana extremely well hidden.
54. Read The Fountainhead.
55. Watch the Pink Floyd laser light show at a planetarium.
56. Refer to his girlfriend's breasts as "the twins."
57. Own a vanity plate.
58. Whippits.
59. Say goodbye to anyone by tapping his chest and even so much as whispering, "Peace out."
--------------
60. Don't peel out leaving work or in gravel.
61. Don't wear a team jersey to a sit down restaurant.
62. No braiding your mullet.
63. No ordering fires with your steak.
64. When giving your girlfriend or wife a goodbye kiss - no tongue - unless you're leaving to go to prison.
65. No Keystone Light or Milwaukee's Best
66. Never wait in line for an autograph, especially after throwing a 7 year old boy out of the way.
67. Don't decide if shirt is clean by smelling it.
--------------------------------
Things women shouldn't do after age 25 - from the chick on ESPN radio.
1. Don't not stay on your parent's cell phone plan
2. Stop shopping in the junior's department - Limited 2 is not appropriate.
3. Don't use hearts to dot your letter "I"
4. Quit drinking beer - you're not in college anymore. How about some wine or a nice mixed drink - they're sexier.
Others added, as well as starting a list for women past age 25 (since women allegedly mature faster). ;)
Add some if you can think of any . . .
From Esquire Magazine- 59 things a man should never do past age 30.
1. Coin his own nickname.
2. Use a wallet that is fastened with Velcro.
3. Rank his friends in order of best, second best, and so on.
4. Hacky sack. [I need enligtening on this termonology]
5. Name his penis his name plus junior. [ this one I totally agree with! Hmm..., let your wife or girl name it instead!LOL]
6. Hang art with tape.
7. Hang "The Scream", unless he stole it from the Munch museum in Oslo.
8. Ask a policeman, "You ever shoot anybody with that thing?"
9. Ask a woman, "Hey, you got a license for that ass?" [this one is lame!]
10. Skip. [Enough said - oh boy!]
11. Take a camera to a nude beach.
12. Let his father do his taxes.
13. Tap on the glass.
14. Shout out a response to "Are you ready to rock?" [even at a concert?]
15. Use the word collated on his resume.
16. Hold a weekly house meeting with roommates.
17. Name pets after Middle Earth characters.
18. Jokingly flash gang signs while posing for wedding photos.
19. Give shout-outs.
20. Use numbers in place of words or locations, such as "the 411" for information, or "the 313" for Detroit.
21. Hug amusement-park characters.
22. Wear Disney-themed neckties.
23. Wake up to a "morning zoo."
24. Compare the trajectory of his life with those of the characters in Billy Joel's "Scenes from an Italian Restaurant."
25. Request extra sprinkles.
26. Air drum.
27. Choose 69 as his jersey number.
28. Eat Oreo cookies in stages.
29. Volunteer to be a magician's assistant.
30. Sleep on a bare mattress.
31. End a conversation with "later skater."
32. Hold his lighter up at a concert.
33. Publicly greet friends by shouting, "What's up, you whore?"
34. Wear Converse All Stars with a tuxedo.
35. Propose via stadium Jumbotron.
36. Decide anything based on the ruminations of Howard Stern.
37. Call "shotgun" before getting in a car.
38. Dispute someone else's call of "shotgun."
39. Whine.
40. Mist up during Aerosmith's "Dream On."
41. Purchase fireworks.
42. Google the word vagina.
43. Ride a pony.
44. Sport an ironic mustache.
45. Hit 13 against a 6.
46. Organize a party bus.
47. Say "two points" every time he throws something in the trash.
48. Buy a novelty postcard in another country of topless women on a beach and write, "Wish you were here" on it.
49. Keg stands.
50. Purchase home-brewing paraphernalia.
51. The John Travolta point-to-the-ceiling-point-to-the-floor dance move; also that one from Pulp Fiction.
52. Put less than ten dollars' worth of gas in the tank.
53. Keep a minuscule amount of marijuana extremely well hidden.
54. Read The Fountainhead.
55. Watch the Pink Floyd laser light show at a planetarium.
56. Refer to his girlfriend's breasts as "the twins."
57. Own a vanity plate.
58. Whippits.
59. Say goodbye to anyone by tapping his chest and even so much as whispering, "Peace out."
--------------
60. Don't peel out leaving work or in gravel.
61. Don't wear a team jersey to a sit down restaurant.
62. No braiding your mullet.
63. No ordering fires with your steak.
64. When giving your girlfriend or wife a goodbye kiss - no tongue - unless you're leaving to go to prison.
65. No Keystone Light or Milwaukee's Best
66. Never wait in line for an autograph, especially after throwing a 7 year old boy out of the way.
67. Don't decide if shirt is clean by smelling it.
--------------------------------
Things women shouldn't do after age 25 - from the chick on ESPN radio.
1. Don't not stay on your parent's cell phone plan
2. Stop shopping in the junior's department - Limited 2 is not appropriate.
3. Don't use hearts to dot your letter "I"
4. Quit drinking beer - you're not in college anymore. How about some wine or a nice mixed drink - they're sexier.