I'll offer a couple of suggestions based on my personal experience riding motocross. Suspension aside, the way you approach the jump and load the suspension has a lot to do with how the bike will react. The natural tendency if you are scared is to ride hard to the jump and get off of the gas quickly at the last second as you hit the jump. When you do that, you shift all of the weight forward on the bike and the front end will nose dive on the jump and the rear end can get airborne as it will be light from letting off of the gas and even lighter when the front end nose dives on the landing. That combination is good for a superman over the handlebars flying lesson anywhere, anytime.
I would keep the throttle consistent into and through the jump or slow down early and give it a little extra gas as you approach the jump. This will help to keep the weight even and keep the front end light and the rear end down.
Suspension is certainly important also and I will defer that to someone else. I don't know what to say without riding your bike and seeing how it is set up. I will say that soft rear suspension from my experience means the rear end will stay low and not spring up like it should on a jump (meaning your rear end gets airborne but the bike's rear end does not). That's an opportunity for another flying lesson. If the front end is too soft, it will not spring up either and you will probably hear and feel the proverbial "metal to metal" sound on the landing. If you're unsure, get someone with experience to ride your bike and help you with your technique. Don't be afraid of the bike. Get it set up right and get an experienced rider to help you learn. Dirt bike riders are the greatest group and they will always help if you ask.
Good Luck and be careful-
JCW