BunduBasher

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(posted with his permission!) KelvinKDX, Jim is going through a divorce right now, and is in need of some encouragement, friendly advice, and general upliftment. I spoke to him last week, and he is pretty down and heartbroken. Jim is a DRN veteran and has attended all the Spodefests and DirtWeeks.

Jim, buddy, all I can say is, hang on in there. Share with us, I am sure we can lift your spirits.
 

Okiewan

Admin
Dec 31, 1969
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I'm SORRY to hear this Jim. I won't try to express any words of wisdom. I know this has got to be very hard on you and can just say... we're here. Hang in there bro.
 

oldguy

Always Broken
Dec 26, 1999
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Jim I hate seeing these posts no matter what the background is. No words of wisdom or unsolicited advice to give- just want to say hang in there, make sure you are doing the right thing and I am here if you need something.
Better days will come but it may take some turns down dim alleys to get to them
 

Jeff Gilbert

N. Texas SP
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Oct 20, 2000
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Jim, sorry for what you're going through, I've been there myself. I hope you don't mind me sharing with you what a friend of mine shared with me during my ordeal.

It's called Recovery, letting go.

To "let go" does not mean to stop caring, it means I can't do it for someone else.
To "let go" is not to cut myself off, it's the realization I can't control another.
To "let go" is not to enable, but to allow learning from natural consequences.
To "let go" is to admit power lessness, which means the outcome is not in my hands.
To "let go" is not to try to change or blame another, it's to make the most of myself.
To "let go" is not to care for, but care about.
To "let go" is not to fix, but be supportive.
To "let go" is not to judge, but to allow another to be a human being.
To "let go" is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes, but allow others to affect their on destinies.
To "let go" is not to be protective, it's to permit another to face reality.
To "let go" is not to deny, but to accept.
To "let go" is not to nag, scold or argue, but instead to search out my own shortcomings and correct them.
To "let go" is not to adjust everything to my desires but to take each day as it comes, and cherish myself in it.
To "let go" is not to regret the past, but to grow and live for the future.
To "let go" is to fear less and love more.

One last thing my friend told me was to never forget who I am.

These are things we all know yet it seemed to do me good when I read, it helped me get my head back on the right place. Keep your chin up. :thumb:
 
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Imho

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Mar 6, 2002
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Jim, I don't know you or most of the others here very well but, based on what I have read, there are few better places to get support and advice, no matter what the nature of the problem.

Take care and know that you are not alone. :thumb:
 

JuliusPleaser

Too much of a good thing.
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Sorry to hear it, Jim. If you need advice or a sympathetic ear, I can be reached here at the Divorce Recovery Network.
 

Tony Eeds

Godspeed Tony.
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Jun 9, 2002
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Jim:

Words don't really work, they are but hollow expressions of what I and others want to say. Take care, know that you are in our hearts and minds and ask if there is anything we can do.

Call ...

Tony
 

firecracker22

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Oct 23, 2000
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I'm so sorry to hear that. Keep looking for the silver lining--there always is one, no matter how dark the clouds are.
 

Jaybird

Apprentice Goon
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Jim, keep your head up.

Divorce is a painful thing for all concerned, including your friends.
I wish there was something I could say or do to help.
 

Grady

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Oct 19, 2000
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Jim, tried to come up with something wise, but drew a blank.

I still remember when you helped Stan out @ DW02 by rejetting his KDX, putting on some new reeds and a good pipe, all during the Bonfire, he was so excited about it. Then @ DW03, you supplied him some carb needles for the KTM. (BTW did he ever send the replacements back to you?)

All said, you are a heck of a nice Guy, and time will heal the wounds.
 

CAL

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Jul 19, 2000
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Oh man...  I hate that.  Jim, you've got our number and you know where we live.  If you need anything, let me and Mandy know!

 
 

KelvinKDX

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Aug 25, 2000
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Thanks all.

I did not know this post was here until i got an email from Tony.

You have no idea what your words of support mean to me and i appreciate them dearly.

I could not get through reading them without tears streaming down my face.

Jeff - letting go is not easy but i do know that it is what i have to do.

I was reluctant to post anything of this situation and am appreciative to Alan for his initiative.

Someday (maybe) i'll expand on the details of the situation - it definately was a shock to me.  I know you all know Wendy and what a kind and Loving person she can be.  She needs to discover that and more for herself.

Right now all i can say is thanks.  I remember how the whole gang helped out Thump a few years back and how his life has turned out so much for the better.

Thanks, thanks thanks.

JimK
 

Jeff Gilbert

N. Texas SP
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Oct 20, 2000
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Jim, my heart goes out to the both of you. The sad part about divorce is that it is a choice that most of the time is only one sided, that leaves the other side to lose his or her mind trying to figure out why. Best of luck to you and be aware of friends and family giving advice, they aren't the ones that live with the consequencies.
 

squeaky

Roosta's Princess
Damn Yankees
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Jim~ I am so sorry to hear. Hang in there, it'll get better with time.
 

fatherandson

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Jim, no words of wisdom, but an invitation....give us a call in Michigan to go for a ride.  When times are tough, you can not beat a day riding your dirt bike with friends.

Mike
 

KelvinKDX

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Aug 25, 2000
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I've come back and read this post several times.  It has helped.  THe holidays went well considering the circumstances.  Actually went out and road Saturday with a buddy in Ohio (GreenMan).  I will eventually take several of you up on your offers to come visit and ride - so beware.

We're about ready to file - I have a lot of issues floating around in my head -  Lot's of disbelief and bewilderment.  Can this really be my lovely wife?  I'd like to say thanks to those who have emailed me with words of encouragement too. 

Thanks,

JimK
 

BunduBasher

Boodoo-Bash-eRRR
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Jim, try to keep an even head, don't let those emotions get the better of you.

Hang in there buddy
 

Thump

Jr Admin Type
Jan 17, 2000
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Bubba, I have been there and damn sorry you have to deal with it now. I won't go into how much things willl get better because that was the last thing I wanted to hear. The reality though is that they do get better and in my situation turned out far better than I ever could have imagined.

The one thing you can count on right now is this place, that much I can promise you.

Keep your chin up annd "try" to deal with this like a business decission, ie, BE CAREFUL.

If you ever need to vent, give me a call. I PM'd you my number.
 

KelvinKDX

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Aug 25, 2000
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Originally posted by Thump
Bubba, I have been there and damn sorry you have to deal with it now. I won't go into how much things willl get better because that was the last thing I wanted to hear. The reality though is that they do get better and in my situation turned out far better than I ever could have imagined.

The one thing you can count on right now is this place, that much I can promise you.

Keep your chin up annd "try" to deal with this like a business decission, ie, BE CAREFUL.

If you ever need to vent, give me a call. I PM'd you my number.

Thanks - and i know what you all mean about the business decisiion thing.  I really do not want to spend the next 4-5 years of my life in poverty!  :|
 
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