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biglou

A man is awakened at 2:00 AM by a phone call from his brother. Seems his car has broken down and he needs assistance. As the man arrived on the scene, he said to his brother, "Hook up this tow rope and I'll tow you to the garage just down the road". The man's brother states, "You can't tow my car in the condition it's in. Tell you what, I'll tow YOU". The man replies, "You're right. What was I thinking?"

Q: What was wrong with his brother's car?:think
 
B

biglou

Well, dang. That didn't take long!

OK, how 'bout a joke. Hello? Is this thing on?

A man walks into an emergency room with two black eyes and a five iron
wrapped tightly around his throat. Naturally the doctor asks him what
happened.

"Well, it was like this," said the man.

"I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife when she sliced her
ball into a pasture of cows.

We went to look for it and while I was rooting around I noticed one of
the cows had something white at its rear end. I walked over and lifted
up the tail and sure enough, there was my wife's golf ball.......stuck
right in the middle of the cow's butt.

That's when I made my mistake."

"What did you do?" Asks the doctor.

"Well, I lifted the tail and yelled to my wife, 'This one here looks
like yours!'"
 
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VintageDirt

Baked Spud
LIFETIME SPONSOR
Jan 1, 2001
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So, who was insulted? The wife or the cow?:)
 

TrackMaster

Member
Mar 15, 2001
212
0
I have some trivia...

1) A man from Poduck County has married 20 different women, all from the same town. He has never divorced any of them, and none have died, yet he has broken no law. How is he able to do this?

2) A man is in the middle of an exciting book when his wife shuts off the light. The room is pitch black, yet he still contiues to read. How can he do this?

3) A Reverand declares he will perform a great miracle next Sunday. He claims he will walk on the surface of the Hudson River. Next Sunday he does just as he said he would. How is this possible?

Sorry everyone for #1.. I screwed up and left out no one died:o fixed now:)
 
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TrackMaster

Member
Mar 15, 2001
212
0
Well shoot. You guys are quick!! We had to do them in geometry today and it took us the whole class period (45 min) working in groups of 4!! But we had to come up with 3 answers for each.:)

LocoCD - we asked the geometry teacher if that would work.:eek: He said he didnt think so...:)
 

Big Tuna

Member
Nov 29, 2000
460
0
A father and son are on their way home from the track; they get into a terrible accident, and the father is killed. The boy is rushed into surgery, and the head surgeon comments I can't work on this boy he is my son. How is this possible.
 

Okiewan

Admin
Dec 31, 1969
29,555
2,237
Texas
32 people, each with 6 apples travel from point A to point B at a rate of 32mph for 22.5 hours.
How many arrived on time and with how many apples?
 
B

biglou

32 people, each with 6 apples travel from point A to point B at a rate of 32mph for 22.5 hours. How many arrived on time and with how many apples?
:think :think :think

I'm gonna fall back on Tom & Ray's standard answer: "It can only work, if the number is 2."

Heres another:
If a chicken and a half, lays an egg and a half, in a day and a half. How many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? (There really is an answer to this!)
 

RM250Rida

Member
May 16, 2001
31
0
Originally posted by BigLou

Heres another:
If a chicken and a half, lays an egg and a half, in a day and a half. How many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? (There really is an answer to this!)

42! Got that answer form the hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy.
 

RM250Rida

Member
May 16, 2001
31
0
If a rooster is sitting on top of a house and it lays an egg which side does it fall of?
That ones better when telling it to someone and they can't read it.
 

OldManIn

Member
Mar 12, 2001
72
0
Originally posted by Okiewan
32 people, each with 6 apples travel from point A to point B at a rate of 32mph for 22.5 hours.
How many arrived on time and with how many apples?

32 people arrived on time with 6 apples each (198 apples).
 

Big Tuna

Member
Nov 29, 2000
460
0
A search party was looking for a man. They finally found him lying in a field covered in blood. Later that day, the coroner revealed that the man had been shot twice. Without any other physical evidence, the police quickly arrested the murderer. How were the police able to ascertain the identity of the criminal?
 

JPIVEY

Sponsoring Member<br>Club Moderator
LIFETIME SPONSOR
Mar 9, 2001
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Originally posted by Okiewan
32 people, each with 6 apples travel from point A to point B at a rate of 32mph for 22.5 hours.
How many arrived on time and with how many apples?

If I drove 720 miles @ 32 mph I would have eatin most the apples and thrown
the rest at people that flip me off for driving too slow.....so I'll say none made with apples
 

smb_racing

Master of None
LIFETIME SPONSOR
Jul 31, 2000
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a plane takes off from pennsylvania headed for lousisiana but crashes in tennessee, where do they bury the survivors?
 

Farmer John

T.C.F.<br>(tire changin' fool)
LIFETIME SPONSOR
Mar 8, 2000
1,993
7
Originally posted by smb_racing
a plane takes off from pennsylvania headed for lousisiana but crashes in tennessee, where do they bury the survivors?

Why at LTM sept. 18th thru the 22nd, of course.
you really should have known :p
 
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