How to bathe the cat

a454elk

Mexicutioner
LIFETIME SPONSOR
Jun 5, 2001
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HOW TO BATHE THE CAT:

1. Thoroughly clean the toilet.

2. Add the required amount of shampoo to the toilet water, and
have both lids lifted.

3. Obtain the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the
bathroom.

4. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both
lids. (you may need to stand on the lid so that he cannot
escape).

CAUTION: Do not get any part of your body too close to the edge, as his paws will be reaching out for any purchase they can find.

The cat will self-agitate and make ample suds. Never mind the
noises that come from your toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this.

5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides
a "powerwash" and "rinse" which I have found to be quite
effective.

6. Have someone open the door to the outside and ensure that
there are no people between the toilet and the outside door.

7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift both
lids.

8. The now-clean cat will rocket out of the toilet, and run outside
where he will dry himself.

Sincerely,
The Dog
 

IrishEKU

A General PITA.
LIFETIME SPONSOR
Apr 21, 2002
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Elk,
You are one TWISTED individual! :p :)
PK :aj:
 

dave186

Sponsoring Member
Nov 19, 2001
903
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Elk, you got any pictures of this? I want a tutorial so i can make sure im doing it right.
 

a454elk

Mexicutioner
LIFETIME SPONSOR
Jun 5, 2001
7,529
18
No dave, I don't but I'm sure that as long as the little feline stays inside the bowl, you really can't go wrong!;)
 

Rooster

Today's Tom Sawyer
Damn Yankees
LIFETIME SPONSOR
Aug 24, 2000
3,292
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It wasn't elk, look who signed the bottom of the instructions!
 

a454elk

Mexicutioner
LIFETIME SPONSOR
Jun 5, 2001
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oooops! :)
 

JPIVEY

Sponsoring Member<br>Club Moderator
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Mar 9, 2001
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The cat also make a good toilet brush, ever notice how clean the bowl is when he's done
 

380EXCman

Sponsoring Member
Sep 15, 1999
721
1
I thought this technique was going to include a burlap bag and a bridge! My wife hates cats.....
 

a454elk

Mexicutioner
LIFETIME SPONSOR
Jun 5, 2001
7,529
18
Don't be so hard on yourself!:):)
 

Staley8

Member
Jan 29, 2001
43
0
How about getting a monkey to wash your cat (sorry, reminded me of the old black and white video that gets replayed all the time)
 
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