You should have a 'feel' for force applied to fasteners depending on their size and the metal they are made from.
The 'too tight' part comes from folks that have no clue what that 'feel' is. The pilot jet gets along just fine when tightened to a 'reasonable' torque value.
I don't know what 'seated' and 'some force' mean to you.
Considering the washer on the main, it actually lacks a good feel, imo..and it's a snap (har) to break off 'cuz it's hollow.
Well, so is the pilot..but it has considerably longer threads...but is smaller in diameter.
See? Any description of 'how much' is going to be completely subjective.
With a screwdriver that is small enough to fit inside the hole, the handle should be fairly small, too. You can easily apply enough force with two fingers to 'properly' seat a pilot jet.
The pilot does have a 'seated' feel to it, too.
...not like a new spark plug 'fer instance.