I got one for BigLou

zio

Mr. Atlas
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Jul 28, 2000
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#1
Since you're so busy entertaining us, thought I'd lay one on you-

An Irishman, a Mexican and an Italian were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building. They were eating lunch and the Irishman said, "Corned beef and cabbage!, if I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch, I'm going to jump off this building."

The Mexican opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "Burritos again! If I get burritos one more time I'm going to jump off, too."

The Italian opened his lunch and said, "Meatballs again! If I get
meatballs one more time I'm jumping too."

The next day the Irishman opened his lunch box, saw corned beef and cabbage and jumped to his death. The Mexican opened his lunch, saw a burrito and he jumped too. The Italian opened his lunch, saw meatballs and he jumped to his death as well.

At the funeral, the Irishman's wife was weeping, She said, "If I'd
known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage I never would have given it to him again!"

The Mexican's wife also wept and said, "I could have given him tacos or enchiladas! I didn't realize he hated burritos so much."

Everyone turned and stared at the Italian's wife...

"Hey, don't look at me," she said, "He makes his own lunch".
 

biglou

#3
LMAO too, paisan!;)
Anyone want to buy some used Italian army rifles? Never fired and only dropped once!
Did you know that Italian tanks are the only tanks in the world with back-up lights?
How can you tell the Italian planes at the international airport? They're the ones with hair under the wings!
Did I go to college? Yes, I attended "Whatsa-matta-u?"!!
 
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#4
I've heard that one before but the version I heard it was
the American that prepared his own lunch and jumped:think
oh well I never get tired of it though!
 

BSWIFT

Sponsoring Member<BR>Club Moderator
N. Texas SP
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#5
Texas A&M was once a Male only college. They were/still known as the "Aggies". When women were allowed into the college, they were/still known as "Maggies".
Returning home for the holidays, a Maggie told her mother, "I have some good news and some bad news". "The bad news," she continues, "I'm pregnant!" Her mom says, "What's the good news?"
She replies, "I don't think it's mine."
 
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#6
Speaking of tanks. During the war there was an infantry troop that was run over by the enemy in a bad way. They had many losses and were completely out of ammunition. In fact, the losses were very heavy on both sides.

The troop leader told his men, to use their imaginations and when the enemy comes over the rise, to aim their empty guns at them and say bang, bang. He said if you truly believe, it will work and you will take the enemy down.

Well, this one solder thought this was ridiculous, but, he had no ammunition so he had no choice but to try it.

When the first wave came over the hill he aimed his empty gun, said to himself, I truly believe, and said bang, bang.

To his amazement, the enemy started to fall. Time after time, as the enemy would come over the hill, he would aim and say bang, bang, and the enemy would fall.

All except one. This one guy just kept coming at him. The solder would aim and say, bang, bang and this guy would just keep coming and coming.

As the enemy solder advanced, unstoppable, he stomped right over the top of the solder and literally stomped him into the dirt. As he was stomping off into the distance, the now mortally wounded solder could hear him saying, "Tanka, tanka, tanka, tanka, tanka."
 
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thumbs

Tony 'da Rat
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#7
Here is one of my favorites................

There were two statues in a park: one of a nude man one of a nude
woman. They had been facing each other across a pathway for a hundred
years.
When one day an angel comes down from the sky and with a single
gesture brings the two to life. The angel tells them, "As a reward for
being patient through a hundred blazing summers and dismal winters you
have been given life for thirty minutes to do what you've wished to do
the most."
He looks at her, she looks at him, and they go running behind the
shrubbery. The angel waits patiently as the bushes rustle and giggling
ensues.
After fifteen minutes the two return, out of breath and laughing. The
angel tells them, "You have fifteen minutes left." "Would you care to
do it again?"
He asks her. "Shall we?"
She eagerly replies. "Oh, yes lets! But let's change positions.
This time, I'll hold the pigeon down, and you **** on it's head."