Monday Humor-Blonde Jokes!

B

biglou

OK, don't shoot the messenger! Just got these in the (E)mail. Thought I'd share the ones that are fit to reprint. :D

A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway.
Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the
wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights
and siren, The trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and
yelled, "PULLOVER!" "NO," the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"


A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The Russian
said, "We were the first in space!" The American said, "We were the first
on the moon!" The Blonde said, "So what, we're going to be the first on the
sun!" The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their
heads. "You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said the
Russian. To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know!!. We're
going at night!"

There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another
blonde on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo" she shouts, "how can I get to the
other side?" The second blonde looks up the river then down the river then
shouts back, "You are on the other side."

There was a blonde woman who was having financial troubles so she decided
to kidnap a child and demand a ransom. She went to a local park, grabbed a
little boy, took him behind a tree and wrote this note. "I have kidnapped
your child. Leave $10,000 in a plain brown bag behind the big oak tree in
the park tomorrow at 7 A.M. Signed, The Blonde" She pinned the note inside
the little boy's jacket and told him to go straight home. The next morning,
she returned to the park to find the $10,000 in a brown bag, behind the big
oak tree, just as she had instructed. Inside the bag was the following
note... "Here is your money. I cannot believe that one blonde would do this
to another!"
 

WoodsRider

Sponsoring Member<BR>Club Moderator
Damn Yankees
Oct 13, 1999
2,812
0
Why did the blonde's belly button hurt?

Her boyfriend was blonde too! :confused:
 

HomeMadeSin

LIFETIME SPONSOR
Nov 20, 2001
379
0
Row, row, row your boat....

In the middle of a large wheat field near a road, a blonde is sitting in a canoe. As she continues to row with an oar, another blonde drives by. Seeing the blonde in the canoe, she becomes mad and stops the car. She gets out and walks up to the field and starts yelling "You know, it's blondes like you that give our type a bad name. And if I could swim, I'd come over their and kick your a$$!" :)
 

bsmith

Wise master of the mistic
LIFETIME SPONSOR
Jun 28, 2001
1,782
0
Just got this one :)
A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blond female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it then slammed it shut and stormed back into the house. A little later she came out of her house again, went to the mailbox and again opened it, and slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went.

As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, she came out again, marched to the mailbox, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.

Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, “Is something wrong?”

To which she replied, “There certainly is!”

My stupid computer keeps saying, “You’ve got mail!”
 
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