Discussion in 'General Moto & Off-Topic Discussions' started by XRpredator, Jun 8, 2008.
You be the judge:
MOST IMPORTANT BOOK EVER
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's Potato Chip :rotfl:
I am definitely going to buy this! :nener:
Chuck Norris can kiss my round brown.
No don't think he knows where I live, do you?
SOLD!!! that book is more than just a fact book. Because of it's content, it can be used for so much more than just reading material.
Other uses for said "paper back"
1. Place under your shirt for bullet proof vest.
2. One page will burn for 18 hours and produce 2 times the light energy of the sun. Quite the beacon if you ever get lost.
3. One book could feed a small nation for decades, if they have good teeth that is.
4. You could make a paper airplane and fly anywhere you want in it.
5. This is dangerous, DO NOT ATTEMPT. A common spit wad fired from an ink pen tube or straw is the equivalent of a 7.62 sniper round.
6. Can re-grow hair by rubbing on effected area. (just look at his beard)
7. Great to have on your resume under education.
8. You don't have to read the book, it tells you what you need to know.
9. Can be used restart a persons heart, just open the book and place on chest. Be sure to tell people to clear.
10. Can be used as a boomerang.
WARNING: Do not use pages for toilet paper regardless of the situation. Drag you butt like a dog on the grass before you use a page from this book to wipe. See #7, enough said.
I'm anxiously awaiting the publication of a far more significant book :
The Truth About Pred: 400 Facts About the World's 217,487th Greatest Human.
After reading the following excerpt in "Better Shacks and Compost Heaps" , I'm tingling with anticipation. :whoa:
Some little know facts about Pred :
Pred once ate 86 hard boiled eggs, burped twiced and then went to Denny's for a grand slam breakafast.
Pred gives precise thoughtful directions to spiders but squishes small foreign people with his ginourmous boot.
Pred once touched a small boy who grew up to be a major league baseball player. The boy thanked Pred for chasing the gay out of him during his induction ceremony at Cooperstown.
Pred spelled backwards is Derp, which is an arabic word for man who scratches taint with a racoon paw.
Pred owes me $14 for a contract killing I did for him in Brazil
Pred can't scratch his own butt so he pays a circus midget to do it for him.
Pred eats soup with a touthbrush, while his oral hygiene is performed with a Briggs and Stratton PowerBOSS 3800 PSI Pressure Washer.
Pred can't spell Pred, so he draws pictures like the cave men to communicate his name.
Pred is frightened by hot dogs. He believes they are the fingers of former Rockettes who were killed by bigfoot.
Pred once saved a small Korean woman who was trapped in a well. He later fed her to a pack of wild dogs claiming it was circle of life stuff that was best not explained.
No one knows where or when Pred was born. Scholars surmise he was hatched from a cross breeding of dinosaur eggs and easter peeps.His odd fear of microwave ovens seems to support this theory.
Pred invented Ovaltine, but he wanted it to be ass flavored and refuses to acknowledge the bastage child Chocolate version that evolved from his ground breaking work.
Pred rarely sleeps. He prefers to sit in a chair, close one eye and pee down his left leg to relax
Pred body mass is comprised of 67% rice pudding
That was way beyond the awesome boundaries.
And my invisible shield always protects my internetness from harm.
Plus, Pred always liked me best.
that's cuz you always gots beers.
now where's my racoon paw? My taint needs some scratchin'
Pred's towering awesomosity reaches far beyond what is usual, normal, or customary and blasts past the edge of the envelope in a way not seen since Yeager hit the skies.
I'm just happy to exist in the shadow of his gigantic awesomitudity.:whoa: