BadgerMan
Mi. Trail Riders
- Jan 1, 2001
- 2,479
- 10
Can you flame an animal?
Oh well, the world could use a funny story so here goes.
I have a skonk problem and last night I declared war on the species! I had one very large critter that was tearing my lawn up (digging worms) and wandering around outside the house at night (very obvious when you sleep with the windows open). I was worried that my kids or myself might surprise it some night and end up getting defiled.
Well sure enough, I went to the garage late last night and almost met with a horrible fate. This animal was literally ripping my lawn to shreds. I ran back into the house where my wife instructed me to "shoot the SOB". I grabbed the Remington and a couple Stingers and headed back out the door. It was a tough shot…….forty paces, dark, and open sights. I picked a spot about one inch behind his (her?) left front shoulder and squeezed the trigger. What happened next can only be described as an awesome display! The Skonk did several back flips, all the time emitting a cloud of "scent". When I went back into the house, the wife was laughing…….until the smell penetrated the walls of our house!
My first in-stinked was to bury the thing, so I headed out with a flash light and proceeded to dig a large hole by the edge of the woods. After removing a couple melon-sized rocks, I hit a small root. I had been chopping at this root for a couple minutes thinking that it was the toughest little root I had ever seen when I decided to shine the light in the hole. It was A WIRE! I ran back in the house to discover that our phone was dead. A half-hour later, I had another hole prepare farther into the woods.
So, I walked over to the "dead" skonk with my light in one hand and a shovel in the other. When I got within about six feet it raised its head……then its tail! Luckily I had the sense to approach the animal from the front. As I ran past the living room window I could see my wife rolling on the floor with laughter. Anyway, I grabbed the Remington and another Stinger, shot the thing in the head, swore at it several times, stuck a clothespin on my nose and went to bed.
This morning, the skonk was nice and stiff so I quickly put it in the ground before my daughter could see that it looked just like her favorite beenie baby. The skonk is "in the hole", the phone line is spliced back together (testing, testing), and the house is airing out. Life is good again.
This has got to rank right up there with the dumbest things I have done!
"Mothers, tell your children not to do what I have done".
Oh well, the world could use a funny story so here goes.
I have a skonk problem and last night I declared war on the species! I had one very large critter that was tearing my lawn up (digging worms) and wandering around outside the house at night (very obvious when you sleep with the windows open). I was worried that my kids or myself might surprise it some night and end up getting defiled.
Well sure enough, I went to the garage late last night and almost met with a horrible fate. This animal was literally ripping my lawn to shreds. I ran back into the house where my wife instructed me to "shoot the SOB". I grabbed the Remington and a couple Stingers and headed back out the door. It was a tough shot…….forty paces, dark, and open sights. I picked a spot about one inch behind his (her?) left front shoulder and squeezed the trigger. What happened next can only be described as an awesome display! The Skonk did several back flips, all the time emitting a cloud of "scent". When I went back into the house, the wife was laughing…….until the smell penetrated the walls of our house!
My first in-stinked was to bury the thing, so I headed out with a flash light and proceeded to dig a large hole by the edge of the woods. After removing a couple melon-sized rocks, I hit a small root. I had been chopping at this root for a couple minutes thinking that it was the toughest little root I had ever seen when I decided to shine the light in the hole. It was A WIRE! I ran back in the house to discover that our phone was dead. A half-hour later, I had another hole prepare farther into the woods.
So, I walked over to the "dead" skonk with my light in one hand and a shovel in the other. When I got within about six feet it raised its head……then its tail! Luckily I had the sense to approach the animal from the front. As I ran past the living room window I could see my wife rolling on the floor with laughter. Anyway, I grabbed the Remington and another Stinger, shot the thing in the head, swore at it several times, stuck a clothespin on my nose and went to bed.
This morning, the skonk was nice and stiff so I quickly put it in the ground before my daughter could see that it looked just like her favorite beenie baby. The skonk is "in the hole", the phone line is spliced back together (testing, testing), and the house is airing out. Life is good again.
This has got to rank right up there with the dumbest things I have done!
"Mothers, tell your children not to do what I have done".