Why Men Die First

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#1
This is a question that has gone unanswered for centuries...... but, now we know.

If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race...you're a male chauvinist.
If you stay home and do the housework...you're a pansy.

If you work too hard...there's never any time for her.
If you don't work enough...you're a good-for-nothing bum.

If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay...this is exploitation.
If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay.....you should get off your lazy behind and find something better.

If you get a promotion ahead of her.....that is favoritism.
If she gets a job ahead of you......it's equal opportunity.

If you mention how nice she looks......it's sexual harassment.
If you keep quiet..........it's male indifference.

If you cry............you're a wimp.
If you don't........you're an insensitive *******.

If you make a decision without consulting her.........you're a chauvinist.
If she makes a decision without consulting you......she's a liberated woman.

If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy....... that's domination.
If SHE asks you.........it's a favor.

If you appreciate the female form and frilly underwear......you're a pervert.
If you don't..............you're gay.

If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape..............you're sexist.
If you don't.................you're unromantic.

If you try to keep yourself in shape................you're vain.
If you don't..............you're a slob

If you buy her flowers.............you're after something.
If you don't....................you're not thoughtful.

If you're proud of your achievements........you're full of yourself.
If you don't....................you're not ambitious.

If she has a headache............she's tired.
If you have a headache.............you don't love her anymore.

If you want it too often.........you're oversexed.
If you don't................there must be someone else.

Men die first because they want to. :moon:
 

GETMETOCA

Can't Wait For Tuesdays
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#3
Originally posted by MONKEYMOUSE
If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay...this is exploitation.
If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay.....you are her cabana boy
 :yeehaw:
 

dirty~d~

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#5
After reading that list I've determined that men die first because of the bleeding ulcers!!! :eek:
 
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#6
Hotcarchick.....come visit my family sometime..... being over 65 is to be a member of a widows club......Longevity seems more prevalent amongst women....we men just like to bail out early.
 

gwcrim

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#7
And you know what? Considering all of the hassles women have in their child bearing years with their plumbing and then they have to go through child-birth..... I'll happily trade the last miserable 5 years of my life so I don't have to go through THAT!
 

BEEF706

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#8
Kinda reminds me of a story attributed to Winston Churchill; awoman came upon him while he wa tipsy and said "If you were my husband I'd poisen you" to which he replied "If I were YOUR husband I'd drink it" :)
 

muddy226

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#10
Re Winston Churchill - it was Lady Beaverbrook ( real name ) who exclaimed to him very huffily " Sir, you are drunk ", to which he replied " Madam, you are ugly, but in the morning I shall be sober ". Great list by the way. I am not sexist, so I just do as I am told.
 
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#11
If we're oversexed it's probably because our pump gave out!