Patman

Pantless Wonder
LIFETIME SPONSOR
Dec 26, 1999
19,774
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I recently picked a new primary care doctor. After two visits and exhaustive Lab tests, he said I was doing 'fairly well' for my age. A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him, 'Do you think I'll live to be 80?'

He asked, 'Do you smoke tobacco, or drink beer or wine?'
'Oh no,' I replied. 'I'm not doing drugs, either!'

Then he asked, 'Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?
'I said, 'No, my former doctor said that all red meat is very unhealthy!'

Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, sailing, hiking, or bicycling?'
'No, I don't,' I said.

He asked, 'Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a lot of sex?'
'No,' I said . He looked at me and said......

'Then, why do you even give a ****??
 

BigRedAF

Member
Jan 9, 2005
739
0
Hey Viper, I was just surfing around and getting some data on the pit bikes. Send me some info on seat height, weight, prices and shipping. I'm considering one that my wife and daughter can goof around on the day before or after a race while hanging at the track. If it will support a 200 pound man then that would be nice too...

Are you still in Spicewood? I grew up in Austin. I just tried to call you on a number that I found on the net. It ended with (#### - Patman), is that still a good number?
 
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Green Horn

aka Chip Carbone
N. Texas SP
Jun 20, 1999
2,563
0
BigRedAF said:
It ended with 9565, is that still a good number?

LOL that number was from when he still lived in the "city". In order to reach someone in Spicewood, you'll have to call Mable and have her connect you to the Patman residence. :rotfl:
 

tony91

~SPONSOR~
Jan 30, 2002
493
0
Right up until the punch-line as was thinking... man I need to lay off the ribeye’s... :)
 

Patman

Pantless Wonder
LIFETIME SPONSOR
Dec 26, 1999
19,774
0
BigRedAF you got mail.

Greenhorn's got the hots for Mabel.
 

JD_MXRacer

Member
Nov 27, 2006
411
0
gees patman i thought you were serious when i read the title lol. o wait i thought it said 08 haha. ur still a little ways away from 80 arent u? haha
 

Patman

Pantless Wonder
LIFETIME SPONSOR
Dec 26, 1999
19,774
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LOL! the line about no beer or wine would be the first clue to those that know me, red meat is one of my basic food groups and the closer it is to saying "Moo" the better! I do happen to be a little bit closer to 80 than I am to 2, but since it's mind over matter and it doesn't really matter because I've lost my mind it will all be good.
 

Jaybird

Apprentice Goon
LIFETIME SPONSOR
Mar 16, 2001
6,452
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Charlestown, IN
I read this:
Then he asked, 'Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?
'I said, 'No, my former doctor said that all red meat is very unhealthy!'
and all I could think was "Liar, liar, pants on fire"...since I have seen you elbow deep and knuckle wide in action on a variety of beef and pork products.

And then I thought to myself....self, he doesn't have any pants either...and it was at that point I realized this must be a spoof.

:rotfl:
 

Patman

Pantless Wonder
LIFETIME SPONSOR
Dec 26, 1999
19,774
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LOL! Very true Mr. Birdman.
 

Coop

Member
Jan 21, 2000
153
0
I'm a little slow these days. I was reading that and got to the part about not drinking and I thought "Hmm I think he had a beer that time we had lunch" LOL. I didn't realize it was a joke until the end. Pretty sad, lol.
 

Patman

Pantless Wonder
LIFETIME SPONSOR
Dec 26, 1999
19,774
0
Yeah Coop I'm pretty sure there was at least one beer, I would suspect more than that though. Headed back up there this summer.
 

BSWIFT

Sponsoring Member
N. Texas SP
LIFETIME SPONSOR
Nov 25, 1999
7,926
43
MXSparx said:
Will I Live to see 80?

no
I hope not! I hope to have my ashes spread across the continental divide before they close all the really cool trails for the econazis.
 
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