RM_guy

Moderator
Damn Yankees
LIFETIME SPONSOR
Nov 21, 2000
7,045
208
North East USA
Hello ladies. Thought I’d stop in for a visit. I haven’t been in here for a while. :)

I personally don’t think this is funny but maybe some of the women may…:think

One day, three men were hiking and unexpectedly came upon a large raging, violent river. They needed to get to the other side, but had no idea of how to do so.

The first man prayed to God, saying, "Please God, give me the strength to cross this river." Poof! God gave him big arms and strong legs, and he was able to swim across the river in about two hours, after almost drowning a couple of times.

Seeing this, the second man prayed to God, saying, "Please God, give me the strength .and the tools to cross this river." Poof! God gave him a rowboat and he was able to row across the river in about an hour, after almost capsizing the boat a couple of times.

The third man had seen how this worked out for the other two, so he also prayed to God saying, "Please God, give me the strength and the tools and the intelligence. to cross this river." And poof! God turned him into a woman. She looked at the map, hiked upstream a couple of hundred yards, then walked across the bridge.
 

LoriKTM

Super Power AssClown
Oct 4, 1999
2,220
6
New Mexico
Cute. :)

It's the "looking at the map" part, isn't it RM_Guy? After all, we know that real men don't use maps or read instruction manuals. ;)
 

Old CR goat

Sponsoring Member
Nov 10, 2000
695
0
Man, what's wrong with you? These gals don't need any help trashing us.
Now they're gonna want to know what you doing kissing up.


what did you do??????
 

gospeedracer

Chat Mom
LIFETIME SPONSOR
Feb 8, 2000
3,136
0
Originally posted by LoriKTM
After all, we know that real men don't read instruction manuals. ;)
Tell me about it!! :silly: Could someone pleeease explain this to me? Just how is it in a man's brain, reading the directions on how to do something you've never done before, somehow makes you less of a man or something? Shoot, I've got NO problem consulting instuction manuals, as a matter of a fact I insist on it!
 

Wolf

doooode
Jul 31, 2000
2,487
1
Originally posted by gospeedracer

Tell me about it!! :silly: Could someone pleeease explain this to me? Just how is it in a man's brain, reading the directions on how to do something you've never done before, somehow makes you less of a man or something? Shoot, I've got NO problem consulting instuction manuals, as a matter of a fact I insist on it!

I think it has something to do with lazyness, but you wouldn't understand;) you're not a real man.
BTW what is an instuction manual:) ?
 

RM_guy

Moderator
Damn Yankees
LIFETIME SPONSOR
Nov 21, 2000
7,045
208
North East USA
Here’s one so you guys don’t think I’m trying to “kiss up” or something. I swear on my instruction manual and map that I don’t know where this came from…:eek:

A young man who was about to get married asked his mother why brides always wear white. She said, "It's to show everybody she's pure." Not satisfied with the response, he asked his father. His father said, "Son, all kitchen appliances come in white."
 

Old CR goat

Sponsoring Member
Nov 10, 2000
695
0
Originally posted by XRpredator
Welcome back to manhood, RM_guy!

That's a classic!:p

Don't let him fool you XRP, read that post again. " I swear on my inst. manual
and map"

He's going for that old - "I'm not like other men" routine:p
 

firecracker22

Sponsoring Member
Oct 23, 2000
3,217
0
Originally posted by Layton
You'll notice that the women got real quite after that last joke. :D

We're formulating our scathing response. Please be patient.

PS--maybe if you were a woman, you'd know how to spell "quiet"--or at least be able to look it up. Maybe a dictionary is too close to an instruction manual and therefore baffling to male perception. :p ;) :confused:
 

LoriKTM

Super Power AssClown
Oct 4, 1999
2,220
6
New Mexico
Originally posted by firecracker22

Maybe a dictionary is too close to an instruction manual and therefore baffling to male perception. :p ;) :confused:

That does explain a lot of differences in M/F posts, now doesn't it! :D
 

gospeedracer

Chat Mom
LIFETIME SPONSOR
Feb 8, 2000
3,136
0
Yes, attention to detail does seem to elude most men. Like the fact that half of them are walking around with their butt cracks showin' without a care in the world! :p
 

LoriKTM

Super Power AssClown
Oct 4, 1999
2,220
6
New Mexico
Originally posted by gospeedracer
Yes, attention to detail does seem to elude most men. Like the fact that half of them are walking around with their butt cracks showin' without a care in the world! :p

The big joke around my sister-in-law's family is "Jeez, you could park a bicycle in that!!!"

Unfortunately, the ones that show it the most are usually the ones that need to cover it up the most! These guys aren't Mel Gibson clones! :eek:
 

Layton

~SPONSOR~
Aug 2, 2000
898
0
FC,

That’s the trouble with modern technology, I don’t even have a dictionary in my office. I rely on the spellchecker to catch things like that. The Microsoft spellchecker let me down. It should have known what word I was planning on using and made the necessary corrections. Therefore I did not make a mistake nor have I ever been lost or needed to use the instructions.:confused:

As for using the dictionary, if I can’t spell a word then how can I look the word up? :think
 

gospeedracer

Chat Mom
LIFETIME SPONSOR
Feb 8, 2000
3,136
0
Getting Lost

I still think my all time favorite line came from my ex when I had the audacity to insinuate he was "lost".....

"I'm not lost! Lost is when you need a park ranger! :think

Unfortunately, park rangers are kind of hard to find on the city streets of San Diego!

if I can't spell a word then how can I look the word up?
Layton, that excuse didn't fly for me when I posed it to my 2nd grade teacher and it's not going to fly in here either! :p
 

gospeedracer

Chat Mom
LIFETIME SPONSOR
Feb 8, 2000
3,136
0
Originally posted by Farmer John
so.....what's this "map" thing?
Ooh great! I'm going to be driving halfway across the country to DW with 3 men!! What are the odds I'm going to get there in a timely manner?! :eek:
 

Old CR goat

Sponsoring Member
Nov 10, 2000
695
0
If I ever become lost, I will gladly stop and ask directions! So far there has been no need for that.

And if the time comes that I need instructions, I will, without hesitation, read them!

What I can't, for the life of me, figure out is, Why do manufacturers always ship so many extra parts?????????
A plot to drive costs up I suppose:)
 
Last edited:

RM_guy

Moderator
Damn Yankees
LIFETIME SPONSOR
Nov 21, 2000
7,045
208
North East USA
Here’s a man and a redneck put down. BTW, I never understood my fellow man’s dilemma with the exposed butt crack. What’s up with that?

An Irishman, a Mexican, and a Redneck were doing construction scaffolding work on the 20th floor of a building. They were eating lunch and the Irishman said, "Corned Beef and Cabbage, if I get this one more time for lunch I'm going to jump of this building". The Mexican opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "Burritos again, if I get Burritos one more time I'm going to jump too". The Redneck opened his lunch and said, "Bologna again, if I get a Bologna sandwich one more time I'm gonna jump".

The next day the Irishman opened his lunch box, sees Corned Beef and Cabbage and jumps to his death. The Mexican opens his lunch box, sees a Burrito and jumps too. The Redneck opens his lunch, sees Bologna and also jumps to his death.

At the funeral the Irishman's wife, weeping, says, "If I'd known how really tired he was of Corned Beef and Cabbage I would have never made it again". The Mexican's wife, also weeping, says, "I could have given him Tacos or Enchiladas, I didn't realized he hated Burritos so much". Everyone turned and stared at the Redneck's wife... "Hey, don't look at me", she stated, "That idiot made his own lunch".
 
Top Bottom