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[QUOTE="Smit-Dog, post: 903440, member: 25436"] With apologies to Ed Hertfelder... [list=1] [*]What this van needs is a new van... [*]You NEVER see any state police on this road... [*]I think we passed the turnoff... [*]Well, that's where the event started LAST year.... [*]You mean I didn't mail a check with my entry? [*]You can put my name on that trophy right now... [*]Where is the gas truck? [*]They just reset the key time clock... [*]The coffee is almost warm and the donuts have been fried in thirty weight oil... [*]You can't eat trophies... [*]Then his wife filled his Husky with straight gas... [*]The bars weren't too wide; the trees were too close together... [*]Does ANYBODY know where the gas truck is? [*]He pushed the bike two miles backward on the trail and was only a hundred yards from a checkpoint when he started... [*]It won't start and all of a sudden it's real easy to kick over... [*]He tried to let two pounds of air out of his tire and the valve jammed open... [*]Well it's not deep now but the early numbers went through at high tide... [*]I think he rides a new motorcycle every week... [*]The only tool he carries is twelve feet of clothesline... [*]Somebody put Gatorade in my Gatorade... [*]And my wife thinks I'm out here having FUN... [*]Just lay there and take it easy; I'll tell them at the next check... [*]They re-routed so follow the arrows and not the tracks... [*]I ain't seen him all day and he was running the same number... [*]Go as fast as you can until you're an hour late... [*]The deer walked away and I had a broken collar bone... [*]He kicked that engine over until his tongue was down to his waist... [*]They say the second half is a lot easier... [*]I put my leg down but it was six feet too short... [*]It was so dusty I couldn't see my front fender... [*]I'm not lost; I'm just slightly confused... [*]He always throws up before he starts... [*]It's got so much suspension you need a ladder to get on it... [*]I hear they're checking for stop lights... [*]Me and the motorcycle take turns breaking down... [*]Did anybody turn in a fanny pack... [*]I was laying there thinking I was having a heart attack and some guy went through my pockets looking for a master link... [*]He finished in a pickup truck... [*]You expect to get your gas can BACK?... [*]Sure he rides good; he's been out of work for ten weeks... [*]Gotta get in shape... [*]You can have dependable or you can have fast, what do you want?... [*]An easy enduro is when YOU don't get stuck... [*]That's what they SAY it weighs; then they put fifteen pounds of air in each tire... [*]I don't try to trophy; I just ride for the fresh air... [*]God bless vice grips, duct tape and tie wraps... [*]All I carry is a compass and a dime so I can find my way out and phone for help... [*]I was doing really good until I wrapped fifteen feet of barbed wire on my countershaft sprocket... [*]If I bore it out once more I'll have a stack of big washers... [*]Let's find a McDonalds before I starve to death... [*]The gas truck?, it just left... [*]I only fall off on left turns, usually... [*]Your van will fit in there, just gas it... [*]Mike Lafferty was signed up but he didn't make it... [*]Their route sheet corrections list is longer than their route sheet... [*]I don't drink this coffee, I'm holding it to try to warm my hands... [*]He hasn't ridden in twenty years and he's still trying to shift with the brake pedal... [*]I know I said it before but this is DEFINITELY my last enduro... [*]Then all I had left was six neutrals... [*]He bitches when he gets a late number and he bitches when he gets an early number; what he wants is the Taj Mahal on ball bearings... [*]Then he drove off with his helmet and boots on the roof of his van... [*]I don't know where he is but at midnight last night he had his transmission spread all over his garage... [*]He cut himself carving a side cover gasket out of a pizza box... [*]He tore the right side shock off on a tree then said he always wanted a Monoshock anyway... [*]Well your cockamamie sound meter might be off a little... [*]If HE can make it, I can make it... [*]They ALWAYS say they're having a nude check... [*]You can't borrow my Phillips because you ALREADY borrowed it... [*]Then he put his motorcycle under his arm and walked away with it... [*]Boy, he sure rides sideways a lot... [*]Do they give a trophy for falling off? [*]Who wants to ride that second loop again? [*]Blew the fork seals and it felt like I was riding a pogo stick... [*]You mean they left without me? [*]I don't care what the manual says, I've been adjusting valves since you were in second grade... [*]He keeps that up and he'll be riding a wheelchair next... [*]Go to bed dear I'm just going to slide this cylinder on... [*]... [/list] [/QUOTE]
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Who to Ride With, Where to Ride
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Northern USA
Enduro Ramblings...
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