- Sep 9, 2000
- 2,987
- 0
Stole this from my fish forum. :D
The following is an actual question given on a University
of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer was so "profound"
that the professor shared it with colleagues, which is why we now
have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or
endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's
Law (gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed)
or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So
we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the
rate they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once
a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are
leaving.
As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different
religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions
state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go
to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and
since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can
project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates
as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase
exponentially.
Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because
Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure
in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand as
souls are added. This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which
souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will
increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the
increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will
drop until Hell freezes over.
So, which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by
Ms. Teresa Banyan during my freshman year, that " . . . it will
be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you" and take into
account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having sexual
relations with her, then, #2 cannot be true and thus I am sure
that Hell is exothermic and will not freeze.
This student received the only "A" given.
The following is an actual question given on a University
of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer was so "profound"
that the professor shared it with colleagues, which is why we now
have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or
endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's
Law (gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed)
or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So
we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the
rate they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once
a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are
leaving.
As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different
religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions
state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go
to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and
since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can
project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates
as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase
exponentially.
Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because
Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure
in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand as
souls are added. This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which
souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will
increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the
increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will
drop until Hell freezes over.
So, which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by
Ms. Teresa Banyan during my freshman year, that " . . . it will
be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you" and take into
account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having sexual
relations with her, then, #2 cannot be true and thus I am sure
that Hell is exothermic and will not freeze.
This student received the only "A" given.
