Interview of the Year!!!

With me racing this weekend I thought a great interview with my alter ego would be fun :D


Ivan:
So, what are your racing plans this weekend, Truespode?


Truespode:
First... it is MISTER Truespode to you. You don't know me that way.

Ivan:
Of course, of course. My apologies Mr. Truespode. So, what are your racing plans this weekend, sir?


Truespode:
Well, on Saturday I am planning on racing two classes at the last race Parker Valley MX will ever hold. That place holds special meaning to me as I have witnessed many great events there over the years. There was the year Danny Baker passed Linus on the outside of a corner. Got a pic of that on the net of that one with Linus looking over his left in disbelief.

http://truespode.net/pics/jmx327/DannyPassLinus.gif

Then there was the Loretta Lynn's Qualifier that Paul Ashmann raced in. That track was rough.

There were the races Lee was in but ended up on the ground...

http://truespode.net/pics/jmx327/LeeTurn.gif

Tommy's first race was there if I remember correctly.

http://truespode.net/pics/jmx327/Tommy_00402.gif

Vince (aka Wrench) career pretty much took off there and he had so many great races there.

http://truespode.net/pics/jmx327/Vince_00419.gif

One day he got a bad start but chased down the field and ran up close to the front.

Then there were the countless battles between James "I make airplanes with my guild" Poole. We had a lot of great races, where he usually came out on top.

http://truespode.net/pics/pvmx902/MVC-009S.JPG

Unfortunately James is nursing a wrist injury brought on by too much self-pleasure so he won't be making the race this weekend. Hopefully I can hold on to the integrity and competitiveness that Team Turtle represents on my own.


Ivan:
You seem to be pretty sad that this will be PVMX's last race?


Truespode:
I am. It is a sad day any riding area is closed down. But I hope the JMX Racing organization will thrive with new venues. It's not the end of the world but the end of a great ride.


Ivan:
Rumor has it you will also be doing a Harescramble on Sunday as well. Is that true?


Truespode:
Well, of course. It is the last race of the NCHSA organization as well. I have yet to race at all this year due to contract disputes that have landed me in court. However, I am back now and ready to finish the year off right. If I would not have raced this weekend it would mark the first year since 2000 that I did not race at all. I don't want to set that type of precedence.

My identity is part of riding, part of Team Turtle and part of Truespode!

I just hope to ride well and finish safe. As I hope for the same of all my competitors.


Ivan:
What position are you hoping to get?


Truespode:
Well, in MX I'd be happy to get a top 10 in Unl Rookie. I should do better but I have not done a lot of MX this year at all so I am using that class as a warm up of sorts. Then I am hoping to get a top 5 in +30c/d but we will have to see. With this being the last race ever there it is possible that a lot of old timers will make it out to give it one last go. Rumor has it that Joe himself (the promoter for JMX) is considering getting out there and racing +40. That should be cool... I hope someone gets some good pictures of that!


Ivan:
Speaking of pictures... you are noted for your ride reports yet you are not taking a photographer along on this weekend? Why? Are you worried about getting any of your diminishing skills recorded on film and shared on the Internet?


Truespode:
God NO! Have you seen the pictures of my spodeness? I am not emberassed at all by my lack of skill. I embrace it and live by the motto that Truespode is where talent and enthusiasm diverge!

http://truespode.net/pics/suthinsf/loopout.jpg

http://truespode.net/pics/suthinsf/damage.jpg


Ivan:
Well, good luck this weekend Mr. Truespode. Stay safe.


Truespode:
Thank you kind sir. I want to take the time to go ahead and thank my sponsors, Team Turtle, Dirtrider.net, Upstate Cycle, Georgiaoffroad.com and James Poole Crab Shack House of Porn and World of Warcraft Foundation.

For the ride report see the ride report forum :)

Natty has some talent... here is a cool story she wrote :)

Ivan finished brushing his teeth, then slapped a little Stetson on his boyishly handsome face. He took one last long look in the mirror to check his appearance. His recent weightloss made him look strong and lean. Damn, I look GOOD!, thought Ivan, as he adjusted the collar on his Tommy Hilfiger buttondown and turned to head out the door.

Ivan had a date tonight. His good friend Mike had set him up with the girl, someone who knew Mike's cousin or his cousin's coworker...he already forgot how they knew each other. Ivan only knew that he trusted Mike's judgement when it came to women.

The South Carolina summer air was still moist with humidity, as it would be for most of the year. Ivan had a twenty minute drive over to The Lizard's Thicket, the down-home coffee shop where he and Melanie, his date, had agreed to meet. Their phone conversation the night before was brief and light. Melanie was also going through a separation. To Ivan, she seemed like a lot of fun, but this dating business was sometimes a little intimidating.

He hoped the evening would go well.

As he pulled into the parking lot of The Lizard's Thicket, Ivan noticed an incredibly beautiful blonde stepping out of a silver Chrysler 300 and head toward the coffee shop. Ivan hoped the beautiful blonde was Melanie.

At 6:30 PM sharp, Ivan exited his vehicle and headed into the eatery. As he entered, the beautiful blonde he'd spied in the parking lot was emerging from the ladies room. Ivan could not help but notice what an incredibly large rack the woman had...so ample and full and jiggly. For the life of him, Ivan could not tear his eyes away from the weighty globes.

The woman watched Ivan with interest. "Hi, I'm Melanie...are you Ivan?"

Yesssss! There is a God...thought Ivan.

"Yeah, I'm Ivan. Mike didn't tell me you had such large...uh...blue eyes!" He extened his hand for an awkward shake. He really just wanted to fondle those titties.

The Lizard's Thicket hostess seated them in a cozy booth and the two made polite conversation over plates of fried catfish and collard greens. Melanie wanted banana cream pie for dessert.

Ivan had difficulty keeping eye contact with Melanie throughout the course of their meal...what had she been blabbering on about? Stem cell reseach? Humanitarian efforts in Guatemala? The futures market for soybeans? Hell, he didn't care...he just wanted to watch those boobs rise and fall every time she breathed.

Ivan couldn't help notice that a large dollop of whipped cream from Melanie's pie had fallen softly and descreetly onto the swell of her left breast.

Later...at the Spartanburg, SC police department.

Officer Stanley: You guys gotta hear this one! We just arrested this guy down at the Lizard's Thicket for licking whipped cream off this woman's breasts!!! It was almost like the guy was on PCP, we could NOT pull him off her!!! The guy was out of his mind!!

Officer Martin: Yeah, for real! After we handcuff him and get him in the back of the unit, he just keeps muttering "bewbies, bewbies, bewbies....."

Click to expand...