- Oct 28, 2001
- 4,704
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Saddam Hussein was sitting in his office pondering the UN resolution when his telephone rang.
"Hello, Mr. Hussein!", a voice said, with a heavy brogue. "This is
Paddy O'Toole down at the Harp Pub in County Mayo, Ireland. I'm ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring war on you!"
"Well Paddy," Saddam replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is your army?"
"Right now," said Paddy, after a moments calculation, "there's myself, my brother Sean, my next door neighbor Liam, and the entire dart team from the pub. That makes eight!"
Saddam paused, "I must tell you Paddy, that I have one million men in my army waiting to move on my command."
"Sweet Jasus!", said Paddy. "I'll have to ring you back!"
Sure enough, the next day, Paddy called again. "Mr. Hussein, the war is still on! We've managed to acquire some infantry equipment!"
"And what equipment would that be, Paddy?" Saddam asked.
"Well, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and a Murphy's farm
tractor."
Saddam sighed. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 16,000 tanks and 14,000 armored personnel carriers. Also, I've increased my army to one and a half million since we last spoke."
"Saints preserve us!" said Paddy. "I'll have to get back to you."
Sure enough, Paddy called again the next day. "Mr. Hussein, the war is still on!" We've managed to get ourselves airborne! We've modified Harrigan's Piper Cub with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four of the lads from the Shamrock Pub have joined us as well!"
Saddam was silent for a minute, and then cleared his throat. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missle sites. And, since we last spoke, I've increased my army to two million!"
"Jasus, Mary, and Joseph!", said Paddy, "I'll have to call you back."
Sure enough, Paddy called the next day. "Top o' the mornin', Mr.
Hussein! I'm sorry to tell you that we've had to call off the war."
"I'm sorry to hear that," said Saddam. "Why the sudden change of heart?"
"Well," said Paddy, "Meself and the lads had a long chat over a couple of pints, and we've decided there's no way in hell we can afford to feed two million prisoners."
God Bless The Irish!
"Hello, Mr. Hussein!", a voice said, with a heavy brogue. "This is
Paddy O'Toole down at the Harp Pub in County Mayo, Ireland. I'm ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring war on you!"
"Well Paddy," Saddam replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is your army?"
"Right now," said Paddy, after a moments calculation, "there's myself, my brother Sean, my next door neighbor Liam, and the entire dart team from the pub. That makes eight!"
Saddam paused, "I must tell you Paddy, that I have one million men in my army waiting to move on my command."
"Sweet Jasus!", said Paddy. "I'll have to ring you back!"
Sure enough, the next day, Paddy called again. "Mr. Hussein, the war is still on! We've managed to acquire some infantry equipment!"
"And what equipment would that be, Paddy?" Saddam asked.
"Well, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and a Murphy's farm
tractor."
Saddam sighed. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 16,000 tanks and 14,000 armored personnel carriers. Also, I've increased my army to one and a half million since we last spoke."
"Saints preserve us!" said Paddy. "I'll have to get back to you."
Sure enough, Paddy called again the next day. "Mr. Hussein, the war is still on!" We've managed to get ourselves airborne! We've modified Harrigan's Piper Cub with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four of the lads from the Shamrock Pub have joined us as well!"
Saddam was silent for a minute, and then cleared his throat. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missle sites. And, since we last spoke, I've increased my army to two million!"
"Jasus, Mary, and Joseph!", said Paddy, "I'll have to call you back."
Sure enough, Paddy called the next day. "Top o' the mornin', Mr.
Hussein! I'm sorry to tell you that we've had to call off the war."
"I'm sorry to hear that," said Saddam. "Why the sudden change of heart?"
"Well," said Paddy, "Meself and the lads had a long chat over a couple of pints, and we've decided there's no way in hell we can afford to feed two million prisoners."
God Bless The Irish!
