Joke O' the Day Aug. 1st.

[IrishEKU]

Two Irishmen, Patrick and Michael, were adrift in a lifeboat following a dramatic escape from a burning freighter. While rummaging through the boat’s provisions, Patrick stumbled across an old lamp. Secretly hoping that a genie would appear, he rubbed the lamp vigorously. To the amazement of Patrick, a genie came forth. This particular genie, however, stated that he could only deliver one wish, not the standard three.
Without giving much thought to the matter, Patrick blurted out, “Make the entire ocean Guinness beer!” The genie clapped his hands with a deafening crash, and immediately the entire sea turned into rich, black porter. Simultaneously, the genie vanished.

Only the gentle lapping of Guinness on the hull broke the stillness, as the two men considered their predicament. Michael looked disgustedly at Patrick, whose wish had obviously been granted. After a long, tension-filled moment, he blurted, “Nice going Patrick! Now we’re going to have to piss in the boat!”
:scream:

 

[BadgerMan]

:)

 

[clutchcover]

:) Thats good.

 

[Txbigguy]

:) :) :)

 

[JPIVEY]

After living in the remote wilderness of
Kentucky all his life, an old codger decided it was time to
visit the big city. In one of the stores he picks up a
mirror and looks in it. Not knowing what it was, he remarked,
"How about that! Here's a picture of my daddy." He
bought the 'picture', but on the way home he remembered
his wife, Lizzy, didn't like his father. So he hung it in the barn,
and every morning before leaving for the fields, he would
go there and look at it. Lizzy began to get suspicious of
these many trips to the barn.

One day after her husband left, she searched the barn and found the
mirror. As she looked into the glass, she fumed, "So that's
the ugly b***h he's runnin' around with."

 

[Stew312]

A Bear and a rabbit are taking a **** in the woods. The bear turns to the rabbit and says, "Excuse me, do you have a problem with **** sticking to your fur?" And the rabbit says, "Well, no." So the bear wipes his ass with the rabbit.

 

[JMD]

A Frenchman, an Englishman, and an Irishman all find a fly in their whiskey. The Frenchman says, "Sacre bleu! Zere ees a fly een my dreenk!" And he picks it out and drinks the whiskey. The Limey says, "Good heavens! Waiter, there's a fly in my beverage. Please bring me another." The Irishman snatches the fly out of the whiskey, turns him upside down and shakes him, crying, "Spit it out! Spit it out!"

 

[jmics19067]

Micheal and Patrick one morning before work at the construction yard
Micheal heads off to the porta potty. 1/2hour goes by 45 minutes goes by
Patrick worried about his buddy opens the door to the latrine and sees Micheal leaning over the open hole with a coat hanger fishing for something.

Patrick " what the heck are you doing your going to be late for work"

Micheal" I dropped my dang coat in there and I am trying to dig it out"

Patrick " You are not going to wear that thing after setting in all that filth are ?"

Micheal " Of course not but my lunch is in the pocket"

 

[kmccune]

Good One!!


BTW... I LOVE Guinness :cool:

Kevin