This was an email sent to me
Men vs.. Women
I never have quite figured out why the sexual
urges of men & women differ so much. I never
have figured out the whole Mars & Venus thing.
And I never have figured out why men think with
their head and women with their heart. Also, I
never have figured out how sexual desire gets
thrown into a state of turmoil when it hears the
words, "I do."
One evening last week, my wife and I were
getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat
up, and she then says, "I don't feel like it, I just
want you to hold me."
I said, "WHAT?!"
So she says the words that I and every other
husband on the planet dread. She explains that
I must not be in tune with her emotional needs as
a woman.I'm thinking, "What was her first clue?" I
finally realized that nothing is going to happen
that night, so I went to sleep.
The very next day we went shopping at a big,
unnamed department store...
I walked around while she tried on three very
expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one
to take, so I told her to take all three of them.
She then tells me that she wants matching
shoes worth $200 each to which I say, "OK." And
then we go to the jewelry department where she gets a
set of diamond earrings. Let me tell you ...she was
so excited! She must have thought that I was one
wave short of a shipwreck, but I don't think she
cared. I think she was testing me when she asked
for a tennis bracelet because she doesn't even play
tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I told her
that it was OK.
She was almost sexually excited from all of
this and you should have seen her face when she
said, "I'm ready; let's go to the cash register."
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out,
"No, honey. I don't feel like buying all this stuff now."
You should have seen her face ... it went
completely blank. I then said, "Really, honey! I just
want you to HOLD this stuff for a while." Just when
she had this look like she was going to kill me, I
added, "You must not be in tune with my financial
needs as a man."
I figure that I might be having sex again
sometime during the Spring thaw of 2003.
Men vs.. Women
I never have quite figured out why the sexual
urges of men & women differ so much. I never
have figured out the whole Mars & Venus thing.
And I never have figured out why men think with
their head and women with their heart. Also, I
never have figured out how sexual desire gets
thrown into a state of turmoil when it hears the
words, "I do."
One evening last week, my wife and I were
getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat
up, and she then says, "I don't feel like it, I just
want you to hold me."
I said, "WHAT?!"
So she says the words that I and every other
husband on the planet dread. She explains that
I must not be in tune with her emotional needs as
a woman.I'm thinking, "What was her first clue?" I
finally realized that nothing is going to happen
that night, so I went to sleep.
The very next day we went shopping at a big,
unnamed department store...
I walked around while she tried on three very
expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one
to take, so I told her to take all three of them.
She then tells me that she wants matching
shoes worth $200 each to which I say, "OK." And
then we go to the jewelry department where she gets a
set of diamond earrings. Let me tell you ...she was
so excited! She must have thought that I was one
wave short of a shipwreck, but I don't think she
cared. I think she was testing me when she asked
for a tennis bracelet because she doesn't even play
tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I told her
that it was OK.
She was almost sexually excited from all of
this and you should have seen her face when she
said, "I'm ready; let's go to the cash register."
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out,
"No, honey. I don't feel like buying all this stuff now."
You should have seen her face ... it went
completely blank. I then said, "Really, honey! I just
want you to HOLD this stuff for a while." Just when
she had this look like she was going to kill me, I
added, "You must not be in tune with my financial
needs as a man."
I figure that I might be having sex again
sometime during the Spring thaw of 2003.