Reasons Why The English Language Is Hard To Learn

Smit-Dog

Mi. Trail Riders
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Oct 28, 2001
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(For most of us we just take these nuances for granted, but try explaining some of these to your kids who are still learning about language and grammar!)

1. The bandage was wound around the wound.
2. The farm was used to produce produce.
3. The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse..
4. We must polish the Polish furniture.
5. He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6. The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7. Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
8. A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
9. When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10. I did not object to the object.
11. The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12. There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
13. They were too close to the door to close it.
14. The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15. A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16. To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17. The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
18. After a number of injections my jaw got number.
19. Upon seeing the tear in the painting, I shed a tear.
20. I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
21. How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.

English muffins weren't invented in England, and French fries aren't French.

Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.

We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea, nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write, but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce, and hammers don't ham?

If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth?

One goose, 2 geese; so, one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices?

Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends, but not one amend?

If you have a bunch of odds and ends, and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

In what language do people recite at a play, and play at a recital?

We ship by truck and send cargo by ship? We have noses that run and feet that smell?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out, and in which an alarm goes off by going on.
 

bclapham

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Nov 5, 2001
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ive told this before but its a good story!

i went into the dealership one day. the bloke there asked me where do you come from? I said "the united Kingdom". he replied "wow, your english is really good, how long have you spoken english for?"

here is another. the other day a bloke came to the door selling something. after a brief conversation he said "youve got a strange accent. are you from Bulgaria?" i said "no, i am english, i am from england" he then replied, "So, what is Bulgaria like this time of year?"

the mind boggles!:)
 

Okiewan

Admin
Dec 31, 1969
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Who is this bloke you speak of? :silly:
Speak American man!
 

placelast

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Apr 11, 2001
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English is truly a *difficult* and *complicated* language to learn, whereas the ground is *hard* where I fell off of my dirt bike...the tap water is *hard* in the Bay Area...

I was told "American" is spoken here in the states; the Brits speak English...
 

bclapham

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Nov 5, 2001
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Originally posted by Okiewan
Who is this bloke you speak of?

you mean you dont know him?

thats another great thing i often encounter: "so you are from England. i met someone from there once, his name was Joe Bloggs and he was from Long Eaton. Do you know him?"
 

zio

Mr. Atlas
Jul 28, 2000
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Well, for one thing, on a map your island looks so dang small... like you could walk across it in one afternoon. And you only have one city, London, so how long does it take before you know everyone there? A month? A year?
 

KelvinKDX

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Aug 25, 2000
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Smit-Dog

I forwarded this on to my buddies in Japan for interpretation.  I can remember explaining what "kit and kaboodle" meant.  :laugh:
 

slideways11

Sponsoring Member
Apr 18, 2000
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A tourist here asked my wife where she was from and my wife answered British Columbia the lady then wanted to know if it was near London? Geography is another tough subject.
 

490Dave

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Mar 18, 2003
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A Vietnamese co worker explaned that his name "Hoa" (pronounced "Wa") had approx. 57 different meanings in vietnamese, depending on the actual pronounciation and context. Sooooo im thinkin English aint so bad afta all.
 
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