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[QUOTE="Treejumper, post: 788648, member: 19791"] HORMEL ISSUES WARNING ABOUT COUNTERFEIT 'SPAM' By William Grim Washington, DC -- The Hormel Corporation today issued a worldwide warning about counterfeit packages of SPAM that have begun to appear in the marketplace. SPAM, Hormel's signature product and a staple of gourmet restaurants and kennels throughout the world, has been in short supply of late largely due to its rapidly expanding use on the Internet. Although the recipe for SPAM is a closely guarded trade secret, the foodstuff is thought to contain puree of swine intestine, desiccated rat ovaries, sawdust and a gelatinous bonding agent made from sheep brains. Scientists have long touted the health benefits of daily SPAM consumption, noting the quasi-meat substance's ability to destroy cancer cells and just about any other thing it comes into contact with. Harvey Stadlmeier, Hormel's Director of Communications, spoke to this reporter about how to tell the difference between real and fake SPAM. "Real SPAM has a gooey jell covering that has a brownish tint and smells like bat guano," said Stadlmeier. "Fake SPAM smells like doggy doo-doo. There's a big difference." Customs officials have interdicted a number of Liberian-flagged cargo ships containing shipments of counterfeit SPAM. Most of the fake SPAM is thought to come from the People's Republic of China and is recognizable immediately because the cans misspell the name of the product as "SAPM." The U.S. government has requested that the United Nations investigate allegations that the PRC uses prison labor to produce its fake SPAM and that in some cases the fake SPAM is actually composed of Chinese prison laborers. In related news, the Peking Daily News today announced that Miramax will begin principal shooting next month in Shanghai for a remake of "Soylent Green" starring Ben Affleck and Chazz Palminteri in the roles made famous by Charlton Heston and Edward G. Robinson. :) [/QUOTE]
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