- Jun 5, 2001
- 7,529
- 18
Sorry, didn't have time to clean it up >>>>>
1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead
> >of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just leave me the hell alone.
> >2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt
> >and a leaky tire.
> >3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal
> >your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
> >4. Sex is like air. It's not important unless you aren't getting
> >any.
> >5. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't
> >be promoted.
> >6. No one is listening until you fart.
> >7. Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.
> >8. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
> >9. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a
> >couple of car payments.
> > 10. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in
> >their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and
> >you have their shoes.
> >11. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
> >12. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how
> >to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
> >13. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it
> >was probably worth it.
> > 14. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
> >15. Some days you are the bug; some days you are the windshield.
> >16. Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time.
> >17. Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that
> >comes from bad judgment.
> >18. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half
> >and put it back in your pocket.
> >19. A closed mouth gathers no foot.
> >20. Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side and a dark
> >side, and it holds the universe together.
> >21. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one
> >works.
> >22. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips
> >are moving.
> > 23. Experience is something you don't get until just after you
> >need it.
> >24. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
> > 25. We are born naked, wet, and hungry, and get slapped on our ass ... then things get worse.
1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead
> >of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just leave me the hell alone.
> >2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt
> >and a leaky tire.
> >3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal
> >your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
> >4. Sex is like air. It's not important unless you aren't getting
> >any.
> >5. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't
> >be promoted.
> >6. No one is listening until you fart.
> >7. Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.
> >8. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
> >9. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a
> >couple of car payments.
> > 10. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in
> >their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and
> >you have their shoes.
> >11. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
> >12. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how
> >to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
> >13. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it
> >was probably worth it.
> > 14. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
> >15. Some days you are the bug; some days you are the windshield.
> >16. Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time.
> >17. Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that
> >comes from bad judgment.
> >18. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half
> >and put it back in your pocket.
> >19. A closed mouth gathers no foot.
> >20. Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side and a dark
> >side, and it holds the universe together.
> >21. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one
> >works.
> >22. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips
> >are moving.
> > 23. Experience is something you don't get until just after you
> >need it.
> >24. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
> > 25. We are born naked, wet, and hungry, and get slapped on our ass ... then things get worse.
