Thursday Humor

[Papakeith]

While riding one day, a cowboy met an Indian riding along with
a dog and a sheep and began a conversation.

Cowboy: "Hey, cool dog you got there. Mind if I speak to him?"
Indian: "Dog no talk."
Cowboy: "Hey dog, how's it going?"
Dog: "Doin' alright."
Indian: Look of shock.
Cowboy: "Is this Indian your owner?" pointing at the Indian.
Dog: "Yep"
Cowboy: "How does he treat you?"
Dog: "Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great
food, and takes me to the lake once a week to play."
Indian: Look of total disbelief.
Cowboy: "Mind if I talk to your horse?"
Indian: "Horse no talk."
Cowboy: "Hey horse, how's it going?"
Horse: "Cool."
Indian: Extreme look of shock.
Cowboy: "Is this your owner? " pointing at Indian.
Horse: "Yep"
Cowboy: "How's he treat you?"
Horse: "Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly,
brushes me down often, and keeps me in a shed to protect me."
Indian: Total look of utter amazement.
Cowboy: "Mind if I talk to your sheep?"
Indian: "Sheep liar."

 

[WoodsRider]

:)

 

[Rooster]

Haaaa haa ahhhaaaaaaaaaaaa!

Sheep liar!!!!! :)

 

[a454elk]

Huh?

 

[XRpredator]

Elk liar? :eek:

 

[MrLuckey]

Good one PK. Hey Elk just a heads up... Ya better check this thread:

http://www.dirtrider.net/forums3/showthread.php?threadid=52114

 

[a454elk]

I already felt the crosshairs, but it should be a heads down!

 

[CanadianRidr]

I thought this was clean, simple and funny. Everything else I thought about posting and Rich would be holding me up by my boxers throwing me out the door :)

A pregnant woman is in a car accident and falls into a deep coma. Asleep for nearly six months, she wakes up and sees that she is no longer pregnant. Frantically, she asks the doctor about her baby. The doctor replies, "Ma'am, you had twins! A boy and a girl. The babies are fine. Your brother came in and named them."

The woman thinks to herself, "Oh no, not my brother, he's an idiot!" Expecting the worst, she asks the doctor, "Well, what's the girl's name?" "Denise," says the doctor.

The new mother thinks, "Wow, that's not a bad name! I guess I was wrong about my brother. I like Denise!" Then she asks the doctor, "What's the boy's name?" The doctor replies, "Denephew."

 

[CanadianRidr]

You may have read this one but I love it!

There was a teenage boy who worked in the produce section of the local market. A man came in and asked to buy half a head of lettuce. The boy said he would go ask his manager about the matter. So he walked into the back and said,

"There's some jerk out there that wants to buy only a half a head of lettuce."

As he was finishing saying this he turned around to find the man standing right behind him, so he added,

"and this here gentleman wants to buy the other half..."

The manager Okayed the deal and the man went on his way. Later the manager called on the boy and said,

"You almost got yourself in a lot of trouble earlier, but I must say I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of it. You think on your feet and we like that around here. Where are you from son?"

The boy replied, "Canada, Sir."

"Oh really? Why did you leave Canada?" asked the manager.

The boy replied, "They're all just up-tight homely women and hockey players up there."

"Really," replied the manager, "My wife is from Canada!"

The boy replied, "No kidding! What team did she play for?"

 

[FLYIN_KAW]

:) :) :)

 

[Moteaux]

:) :) :)

 

[70 marlin]

their will never be anther yew! :eek:

 

[RM_guy]

Good ones. Here's my contribution...
(sorry for the ">" crap)
lady went into a bar in Texas and saw a cowboy with his feet propped
>>up on
>> >a table. He had the biggest feet she'd ever seen. The woman asked
the
>>cowboy
>> >Is it true what they say about men with big feet. The cowboy
grinned
>>and
>> >said, "Shore is, little lady! Why don't you come on out to the
>>bunkhouse and
>> >let me prove it to you?"
>> > The woman wanted to find out for herself, so she spent the night
with
>>him.
>> >The next morning she handed him a $100 bill. Blushing, he said,
"Well,
>> >thankee, ma'am. Ah'm real flattered. Ain't nobody ever paid me fer
mah
>> >services before." The woman replied, "Don't be flattered.......take
>>the
>>money
>> >and buy yourself some boots that fit."

 

[Rooster]

groan :)

 

[a454elk]

hehehehehe!:)