Thursday Night Humor

[JuliusPleaser]

The* Frog

A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see
from her name plate that the teller's name is Patricia Whack. So, he
says, "Mrs. Whack, I'd like to get a loan to buy a boat and go on
a long vacation."

Patti looks at the frog in disbelief and asks how much he
wants to borrow.

The frog says* "$30,000."

The teller asks his name and the frog says that his name is
Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it is OK, he
knows the bank manager.

Patti explains that $30,000 is a substantial amount of money
and that he will need to secure some collateral against the loan.
She asks if he has anything he can use as collateral.

The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny
pink porcelain elephant, about half an inch tall. Bright pink and
perfectly formed.

Very confused, Patti explains that she'll have to consult
with the manager and disappears into a back office.

She finds the manager and says: "There is a frog called
Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to
borrow $30,000. And he wants to use this as collateral."
She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what the heck is this?"





(are you ready?)





(are you sure?)





(you're gonna hate me!)



The bank manager looks back at her and says



"It's a knick knack, Patti Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's
a rolling stone."

 

[GETMETOCA]

What surprises me about this joke is that it's so CLEAN!!!! Very Cute.

 

[ride_red_15]

yep, groan :silly:

 

[Milquetoast]

Wow, that one is stretched to the limit! :)

 

[bscottr]

I just had one of those moments...ahhh. Nice, very nice. :) :)

 

[justql]

:silly:

 

[JuliusPleaser]

:) It was SO bad that I felt compelled to share. Sorry. (NOT!)

 

[Senior KX Rider]

:)

 

[a454elk]

:):):)

 

[bluerider125]

:confused::) too funny! :):confused:

 

[MONKEYMOUSE]

HeHe

 

[Jh85]

A duck walks into a bar and askes the bartender "Hey, you have any grapes"

The bartender replies back
"Sorry no grapes here"

So the duck turns around, hops off the table and walks out. The next day the same duck walks into the bar and asks again
"Hey bartender have any grapes"

He answers back
"Didn't you come in here yesterday? THIS IS A BAR and we don't have any grapes! The next time you come in here I'm going to nail your feet to the table!"

The next day the duck walks into the bar and asks the bartender
"Have any nails?"

Bartender:
"No of course not, this is a bar."

So the duck then asks
"Have any grapes?"
:silly:

:) :)

 

[JuliusPleaser]

:) :)

 

[70 marlin]

your a whack! lmao

 

[slo' mo]

I know Thump also has about as many dogs as I do so here's one for all us dog lovers....


Canine Prayers


Dear God,
Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?

Dear God,
How come people love to smell flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one
another? Where are their priorities?

Dear God,
When my family eats dinner they always bless their food. But they never
bless mine. So... I've been wagging my tail extra fast when they fill my
bowl.
Have you noticed my own blessing?

Dear God,
When we get to Heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it the same old
story?

Dear God,
Excuse me, but why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the
mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not one named for a
dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We dogs love a nice
ride! I know every breed cannot have its own model, but it would be easy
to rename the
Chrysler Eagle the Chrysler Beagle!

Dear God,
If a dog barks his head off in the forest
and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?

Dear God,
If we come back as humans, is that good or bad?
Dear God,
More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.

Dear God,
When we get to the Pearly Gates, do we have to shake hands to get in?

Dear God,
Are there dogs on other planets, or are we alone? I have been howling at
the moon and stars for a long time, but all I ever hear back is the beagle
across the street!

Dear God,
Is it true that dogs are not allowed in restaurants because we can't make
up our minds what NOT to order?
Or is it that thing about carpets again?

Dear God,
The new terrier I live with just peed on the Oriental rug and I have a
feeling my family might blame me 'cuz they think I'm jealous of this
stupid dog. Since they have no sense of smell, how can I convince them I'm
innocent?

Sincerely,
the Dog

 

[MXbabe]

Those are pretty funny slo' mo.

Here is another groaner....

Two guys walk into a bar.....you'd think one of them would've seen it. :confused:

 

[bsmith]

Oh ya,

Well two MX babes are walking down the street
One say's ahhh look at the poor dead bird,
The other looks up and says where? :)

I'm going to take heat for that :o

 

[ktmboy]

Did you hear the one about the dyslexic, atheist, insomniac?
v
v
v









He'd lie in bed all night wondering if there was a DOG! :eek:

 

[Rooster]

ktm - one of my favorites!