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Worst Country Song Titles
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[QUOTE="thermal, post: 376955, member: 25006"] All I Want From You (Is Away) Written by Bobby Harden (ASCAP) All My Exes Live In Texas All the Guys that Turn Me On Turn Me Down Written by Gene Plott, Harold Powell & Roni Stoneman (BMI) (courtesy of "Narkspud") Am I Double Parked by the Curbstone of Your Heart? (courtesy of Michael) Double Parked Heart by Jim Pollock (BMI) (Could this be the same song?) Are You on the Top 40 of the Lord? (courtesy of Joel) At the Gas Station of Love, I Got the Self Service Pump (courtesy of Barry) Apparently this is from a Weird Al Yankovic album, "One More Minute." But it sounds like a country title, so I'll keep it! Billy Broke My Heart at Walgreens and I Cried All the Way to Sears (courtesy of Jim) Bubba Shot The Jukebox Bubba's Inconvenience Store by Bett Butler (BMI) Cow Cow Blues Written by Charles "Cow Cow" Davenport (ACAP), and recorded by Bing Crosby, among others. Not a country song at all, as it turns out, but I've left it on the list because of the title's similarity to... Cow Cow Boogie (Moo Moo My Love) This one's been performed by everyone from The Judds to Mel Torme, according to ASCAP. Also not to be confused with... Cow Cow Strut by Barbara Chamberlin (SOCAN) Did I Shave my Legs for This? by Deana Carter (courtesy of Scott) Don't Believe My Heart Can Stand Another You. by Tanya Tucker (BMI) Don't Chop Any Wood Mother, I'm Comin' in With a Load! (courtesy of Garnet) Don't Come Home a-Drinkin' With Lovin' on Yo-mind by Loretta Lynn (BMI) (courtesy of Hamp) Don't Give Me A Plastic Saddle 'Cuz I Want To Feel That Leather When I Ride (courtesy of Diane) Don't Squeeze My Sharmon. (Yes, that IS the correct spelling) Written by Carl Belew & Van Givens (BMI) Don't Strike A Match (To The Book Of Love) Written by Pat Alger & Hal Ketchum (BMI) Drop Kick Me Jesus (Through The Goal Posts Of Life.) Written by Paul Charles Craft Four on the Floor and a Fifth Under the Seat Written by Rex Pearce (BMI) (courtesy of Rick) Get Your Biscuits In The Oven, And Your Buns In The Bed. Written by Richard Friedman (BMI) Git Up Off'n the Floor Hannah (a Bitter New Year's Eve) by Red Ingle and the Natural Seven, Written by Foster Carling & Joe Washburne (ASCAP) (courtesy of "Narkspud") Guess My Eyes Were Bigger Than My Heart. Written by Liz Anderson (BMI) Hand me the Pool Cue and Call Yourself an Ambulance (courtesy of Tom, who isn't sure it's a real song) Her Only Bad Habit Is Me Believe it or not, three songs with this title in the BMI database. Here's A Quarter (Call Someone Who Cares) by Travis Tritt - "It's All About to Change" (several folks submitted this one) High Cost of Low Living by John Steele & James Sloane (ASCAP) Hold On To Your Men..Cause she's Single Again (courtesy of Susan) How Can I Get Over You if You Won't Get Out from Under Me? (courtesy of Dan) How Can I Get Over You Till You Get Out from Under Him? (alternate title courtesy of Mike) How Can I Miss You if You Won't Go Away? Written by Leonard Linnehan & Louis Philip Perry (ASCAP) (courtesy of Charles) But there are a half-dozen songs with this title in the BMI database! How Can You Believe Me When I Say I Love You, When You Know I've Been A Liar All My Life? According to Murphy, this song was written for the film Royal Wedding starring Fred Astaire, and was a novelty dance number. How Come Your Dog Don't Bite Nobody But Me? by Mel Tillis (BMI) How Did You Get so Ugly Overnight? (courtesy of Mark, who's not sure it's a real song either) I Bought the Shoes that Just Walked Out on Me 2 songs with this title in the BMI database (courtesy of Rick) I Can't Pass the Bar, and There's One on my Way Home (courtesy of Rick) I Changed Her Oil, She Changed My Life (courtesy of Charles) I Don't Care if it Rains or Freezes 'Long as I Have My Plastic Jesus Sittin' on the Dashboard of my Car a.k.a. "Plastic Jesus" by Ernie Marrs (courtesy of Bill) I Don't Do Floors by Don Cook & Charles Victor Rains (ASCAP) I Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling by Thom Sharpe (courtesy of Gail, who tells me he wrote a number of comedy songs) I Fell for Her, She Fell for Him, and He Fell for Me (courtesy of "Narkspud") I Fell In A Pile Of You And Got Love All Over Me (courtesy of Charles) I Flushed You From The Toilets Of My Heart Written by Jack Clement (BMI) (courtesy of Charles) I Gave Her My Heart And A Diamond And She Clubbed Me With A Spade (courtesy of Bruce) I Gave Her the Ring, and She Gave Me the Finger (courtesy of Maureen) I Got Tears In My Ears From Lying On My Bed Crying On My Pillow Over You. According to ASCAP, the acutal title is simply, "Tears In My Ears" I Got the Hungries for Your Love, and I'm Waitin In Your Welfare Line (courtesy of John) I Got Through Everything But The Door I Guess I Had Your Leavin' Coming by Vern Gosdin (ASCAP) I Keep Forgettin' I Forgot About You Written by Byron Gallimore, Don Pfrimmer & William Shore (BMI) (courtesy of Charles) I May Be Used, But Baby I Ain't Used Up I Only Miss You On The Days That End In " Y " (courtesy of Frank) I Sat Down On A Beartrap (Just This Morning) I Sent Her Artifical Flowers For Her Artificial Love There are 4 songs called "Artificial Flowers" in the BMI database (courtesy of Jerry) I Still Miss You Baby... But My Aim is Getting Better (courtesy of Eric) I Want a Beer as Cold as My Ex-Wife's Heart (courtesy of Dan) I Wanted You To Leave Until You Left Me. I Wanna Whip Your Cow (courtesy of Charles) I Was Looking Back to See If You Were Looking Back to See If I Was Looking Back to See if You Were Looking Back at Me According to Sean, this may be "I Looked Back" by Jimmy Eaton & Larry Wagner, recorded by Perry Como. If that's the case, I think we can safely move it out of the "country" category! I Went Back to My Fourth Wife for the Third Time and Gave Her a Second Chance to Make a First Class Fool Out of Me by Rev.Billy C. Wirtz (courtesy of Zev) I Wish I Were A Lesbian by Loudon Wainwright III (ASCAP) I Wish I Were A Woman (So I Could Go Out With A Guy Like Me) (courtesy of Mick) I Would Have Wrote You A Letter, But I Couldn't Spell Yuck! (courtesy of Charles) I Wouldn't Take Her To A Dawg Fight, Cause I'm Afraid She'd Win (courtesy of Charles) I'd Rather Hear A Fat Girl Fart Than A Pretty Boy Sing (courtesy of Mike) I'd Rather Pass a Kidney Stone than Another Night With You If Fingerprints Showed Up On Skin, Wonder Whose I'd Find On You. by Freddie Hart (BMI) If I Ain't Got It, You Don't Need It. Two songs with this title in the BMI database If I Can't Be Number One In Your Life, Then Number Two On You (courtesy of Charles) If I'd Killed You the First Time I Thought About it, I'd be Out of Jail By Now (courtesy of Tom) If I Had It To Do All Over Again, I'd Do It All Over You by Dan Hicks and his Hot Licks (courtesy of Peter) If I Had My Life to Live Over, I'd Live Over a Delicatessen (courtesy of Mike) If I Were In Your Shoes, I'd Walk Right Back To Me Five songs in the BMI database caleed "If I Were In Your Shoes" (courtesy of Mick) If Love Were Oil, I'd Be A Quart Low (courtesy of Charles) If My Nose Were Full of Nickels, I'd Blow It All On You (courtesy of Charles and Ray) If My Nose Was Running Money, Honey, I'd Blow It Al On You (Title from BMI database) If I Had a Nose Full of Nickels, I'd Sneeze Them All Atchoo! (Another version of the title) If She Hadn't Been So Good Lookin' I Might Have Seen the Train (courtesy of Phil) If the Devil Danced in Empty Pockets, He'd Have a Ball in Mine by Joe Diffie (ASCAP) (courtesy of Jennifer) If The Jukebox Took Teardrops 2 songs with this title listed in the ASCAP database. If The Phone Doesn't Ring, It's Me by Jimmy Buffett, also recorded by Crystal Gayle (ASCAP) (courtesy of Carol) If Today Was a Fish, I'd Throw It Back In 3 songs titled "If Today Was a Fish" in the BMI database. (courtesy of Rick & Frank) If You Can't Be Good, Be Bad With Me Written by Tim Bussey & Mark Maxwell (BMI) If You Can't Be Good, Son, Be Good At It by Neal McCoy (BMI) (courtesy of Betsy) If You Can't Bite, Don't Growl. by Tommy Collins (BMI) If You Can't Live Without Me, Why Aren't You Dead? Written by Benjamin Costello, Alexis Feltham & Jason Whalley (BMI) (courtesy of Simon) If You Don't Leave Me, I'll Find Someone Who Will (courtesy of Barry) If You Leave Me, Can I Come Too? Three songs in the BMI database with this title. (courtesy of Charles) If You Leave Me I'm Gone by Hunter Davis (ASCAP) If You Really Loved Me, You'd Leave (courtesy of Phil) If You Got the Money, Honey, I Got the Time by Hank Williams (courtesy of Bill) If Whiskey Were A Woman, I'd Be Married For Sure. Written by Stuart Holdsworth, Jack Routh & Randy Sharp (BMI) I Like Bananas Because They Have No Bones by Hoosier Hot Shots, Written by Chris Yacich (ASCAP) (courtesy of "Narkspud") I'll Marry You Tomorrow, But Let's Honeymoon Tonight. I'll Tennessee You In My Dreams I'm Gonna Hire A Wino To Decorate Our Home. I'm Gonna Put a Bar in the Back of my Car and Drive Myself to Drink From the album "Fear of Frying" by a Marin County (California) band called"Eggs Over Easy", around 1968 (courtesy of Mark) I'm Here To Get My Baby Out Of Jail Two songs with this title in the BMI database. I'm Quittin' Wild Turkey Cold Turkey Believe it or not, 24 songs called "Cold Turkey" in the BMI database. Only 13 called "Wild Turkey" (courtesy of Mandy) I'm So Miserable Without You, it's Almost like Having you Here (courtesy of Mike, who isn't sure it's a real song) There are several songs called "I'm So Miserable Without You" in the BMI database. I'm The Only Hell Mama Ever Raised by Johnny Paycheck (BMI) I'm Under The Table Over You (courtesy of Buddy) Is It Cold in Here, or Is it Just You? (courtesy of Mark) The BMI database lists a song called "Is It Cold In Here" by Joe Diffie. It Only Takes One Bar (To Make A Prison) by Tracy Lawrence (ASCAP) I've Been Flushed From The Bathroom Of Your Heart. Written by Jack Clement (BMI) I've Been Roped And Throwed By Jesus In The Holy Ghost Corral. I've Got the Cob, If You've Got the Corn (courtesy of Marvin) I've Got $5 And It's Saturday Night I've Heard that Tear Stained Monologue You do There by the Door Before You Go by John Hartford (courtesy of Joel) It Ain't Easy Being Easy by Roseanne Cash (courtesy of Pamela) It Took a Helluva Man to Take my Anne, but it Sure Didn't Take Him Long (courtesy of Rick) It's Not the High Cost of Living, It's the Cost of Living High (courtesy of Buddy) I Would Kiss You Through the Screendoor but It'd Strain Our Love (courtesy of David) Jeremiah Peabody's Polyunsaturated Quick Dissolving Fast Acting Pleasant Tasting Green and Purple Pills by Ray Stevens (BMI) (courtesy of "Narkspud") Jim, I Wore A Tie Today Last Night I Went to Bed with a "10" and Woke this Morning with a "2" by Willie Nelson (courtesy of Janet) Lay Something On My Bed Besides A Blanket Written by Daniel Hogan, Gladys & Ronny Scaife (BMI) Legendary Chicken Fairy by Jack Blanchard & Misty Morgan (BMI) (courtesy of "Narkspud") Make Me Late For Work Today. Five songs with this title in the BMI database, including one by Paul Brandt. Mama Get The Hammer (There's A Fly On Papa's Head) Mama Get The Hammer (There's A Fly On Baby's Head) (Conflicting submissions on this blues tune - anyone??) Get the Hammer Mama, There's a Head on Papa's Fly (Now that's the best one yet) Mommy, Can I Still Call Him Daddy? My Head Hurts, My Feet Stink, And I Don't Love Jesus. My John Deere Was Breaking Your Field, While Your Dear John Was Breaking My Heart (courtesy of Charles) My Phone Ain't been Ringing, so I Guess it Wasn't You My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend, And I Sure Do Miss Him Written by Phil Earhart (BMI) (courtesy of Charles) Nashville Rash Written by Kenneth Dale Watson (BMI) Occasional Wife Written by Robert William Scott (ASCAP) Oh, I've Got Hair Oil On My Ears And My Glasses Are Slipping Down, But Baby I Can See Through You (courtesy of Charles) Our Love is Illegal, Cause Our Names Ain't the Same (courtesy of Ned) Overlonely and Underkissed Pardon Me, I've Been Pardoned Written by Michael Manuel (BMI) Pardon Me, I've Got Someone To Kill by Johnny Paycheck (BMI) (courtesy of Charles) Phantom Of The Opry A whopping 7 entries in the BMI database for this one. Pick Me Up On Your Way Down by Patsy Cline (BMI) Pick Me Up Or Let Me Down by Hank Smith (SOCAN) Poultry Promenade by Diamond Rio (BMI) Queen Of My Double-Wide Trailer Written by Dennis Linde Recorded by Sammy Kershaw, and Country Dance Kings Redneck Martians Stole My Baby by Hank Flamingo (BMI) Red Necks, White Socks, and Blue Ribbon Beer by Johnny Russell (ASCAP) Refried Dreams by Tim McGraw (BMI) Run for the Roundhouse Nellie (He Can't Corner You There) by Zeke Masters and his Band, Written by Julian Kay & Zeke Manners (ASCAP) (courtesy of "Narkspud") Saddle Up the Stove Ma, I'm Riding the Range Tonight (courtesy of Garnet) She Can Put Her Shoes Under My Bed Anytime by Johnny Duncan (courtesy of Bill) She Feels Like A New Man Tonight. Five songs with this title in the BMI database. She Got The Gold Mine And I Got The Shaft by Jerry Reed (courtesy of Charles) She Got The Ring And I Got The Finger (courtesy of Charles) She Looks Good Through the Bottom of My Shot Glass (courtesy of Marc) She Made Toothpicks Out Of The Timber Of My Heart (courtesy of Charles) She Offered Her Honor, He Honored Her Offer, and All Through the Night It Was Honor and Offer by Sligo Studio Band, written by Robert Bivens (BMI) (courtesy of "Narkspud") She Thinks My Tractor's Sexy Written by Jim Collins & Paul Overstreet (BMI) She Walked Across My Heart Like It Was Texas (courtesy of James) She's Actin' Single..... I'm Drinkin' Doubles by Gary Stewart (BMI). She's Got Freckles On Her, But She's Pretty (courtesy of Charles) I've been told this is a novelty song by Larry Vincent from the 1940s and not country at all... I've found several songs attributed to larry Vincent in the ASCAP database, but nothing like this. So for now the case remains open.... She's Got the Rhythm (And I Got the Blues) Slap 'Er Down Again Paw by Arthur Godfrey (courtesy of "Narkspud") Thank God And Greyhound She's Gone by Roy Clark (BMI) Thanks To The Cathouse, I'm In The Doghouse With You Written by Max Barnes, Frank Saulino & James Valentini (BMI) The Bridge Washed Out and I Can't Swim and My Baby's On the Other Side The Last Word in Lonesome is Me The Man That Came Between Us (Was Me) The Old Home Fill 'er Up and Keep On Truckin' Cafe" by C. W. McCall (courtesy of "Narkspud") The Pint Of No Return. There Ain't Enough Room in my Fruit Of The Looms to Hold All My Lovin' For You (courtesy of Atley) There's A Tear In My Beer by Hank Williams They May Put Me In Prison, But They Can't Stop My Face From Breakin' Out (courtesy of Charles) This Good Girl's Gonna Go Bad by Tammy Wynette(courtesy of Bill) This White Circle on My Finger Means We're Through by Kitty Wells (courtesy of Bill) Tight Fittin' Jeans Two songs in the BMI database with this title. Trainwreck Of Emotion Written by Allen Kohnhurst & Jonathan Vezner (ASCAP) Up Against the Wall, Redneck Mother by Jerry Jeff Walker "Great Gonzos" (courtesy of Ed) Also recorded by Willie Nelson, written by Ray Hubbard (ASCAP) Velcro Arms, Teflon Heart (courtesy of Charles) Did find a song in the BMI database called "Velcro Heart" Waitin' In Your Welfare Line by Buck Owens (BMI) Walk Out Backwards Slowly So I'll Think You're Walking In Four songs in the BMI database called "Walk Out Backwards" We Used To Kiss On The Lips, But It's All Over Now (courtesy of Cheryl) Welcome to Dumpsville, Population Me Two songs in the BMI database called "Welcome to Dumpsville" (courtesy of Jim) What Made Milwaukee Famous Has Made a Loser Out of Me When the Lightning Struck the Coon Creek Party Line by Hoosier Hot Shots (courtesy of "Narkspud") Who's Gonna Mow Your Grass? by Buck Owens (BMI) Who's Gonna Take The Garbage Out When I'm Dead And Gone? Whose Bed Have Your Boots Been Under? by Shania Twain & Mutt Lange (ASCAP) Why Have You Left the One You Left Me For? by Crystal Gayle, also recorded by Ronnie Milsap (courtesy of the Johnson family) Why Don't We Get Drunk and Screw by Jimmy Buffett "All the Great Hits" (courtesy of Karen, James & Ed) Would Jesus Wear A Rolex On His Television Show? by Ray Stevens, Written by Chet Atkins & Margaret Archer (BMI) Yard Sale (12 exciting songs share this title in the BMI database) You Ain't Much Fun Since I Quit Drinkin' by Toby Keith (BMI) (courtesy of Chili) You Ain't Woman Enough To Take My Man by Loretta Lynn (courtesy of Bill) You Ain't Nothin' But a Hound Dog ('s Leavins') (courtesy of Jim) You can Lock Me Up in Jail & Throw Away the Key, But You Can't Keep My Face from Breaking Out by Randy Scruggs (courtesy of Dave ) You Can't Have Your Kate And Edith Too. You Can't Roller Skate In A Buffalo Herd by Roger Miller (BMI) You Done Stomped On my Heart (and You Mashed That Sucker Flat) According to multiple emails, this was written by Mason Williams (yes, the "Classical Gas" guy) and recorded by various artists including John Denver. "You done stomped on my heart and mashed that sucker flat, you just sorta, stomped on my aorta. You started going out with guys, I felt us drift apart, and every step you took, was a stomp right on my heart." You Were Only A Splinter As I Slid Down The Banister Of Life (courtesy of Charles) You'd think my Bed was a Bus Stop, the Way You Come and Go (several submissions) Your Negligee Has Turned To Flannel Nightgowns. You're The Hangnail In My Life, And I Can't Bite You Off by Hoyt Axton, Written by Woody Bowles (BMI)(courtesy of Eli) You're a Hard Dog To Keep Under The Porch by Gail Davies (BMI) (courtesy of Susan) You're Going To Ruin My Bad Reputation Could this be "My Bad Reputation" by Woody Guthrie? You're Out Of Step (With The Beat Of My Heart) You're The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly Best guess is Loretta Lynn & Conway Twitty (courtesy of Charles) You're The Ring Around My Bathtub, You're The Hangnail Of My Life You've Already Put Big Old Tears In My Eyes, Must You Throw Dirt In My Face? by The Louvin Brothers (courtesy of Art) You've Got Sawdust On The Floor Of Your Heart by Sneezy Waters (courtesy of Paul) 80 Proof Bottle of Tear Stopper [/QUOTE]
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Worst Country Song Titles
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