YOU KNOW YOU'RE in TEXAS in JULY WHEN ..

[Tony Eeds]

The birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground.

The trees are whistling for the dogs.

The best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.

Hot water now comes out of both taps.

You can make sun tea instantly.

You learn that a seatbelt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron.

The temperature drops below 95 and you feel a little chilly.

You discover that in July, it only takes two fingers to steer your car.

You discover that you can get sunburned through your car window.

You actually burn your hand opening the car door.

You break into a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30am.

Our biggest bicycle wreck fear is: "What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?"

You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.

The potatoes cook underground, so all you have to do is pull one out and add butter, salt and pepper.

Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying boiled eggs.

The cows are giving evaporated milk.



A Texas Blessing

Bless this house, oh Lord, we cry.
Please keep it cool in mid-July.

Bless the walls where termites dine,
While ants and roaches march in time.
Bless our yard where spiders pass
The fire ant castles in the grass.

Bless the garage, a home to please
Carpenter beetles, ticks and fleas.
Bless the love bugs, two by two,
The gnats and mosquitoes that feed on you.

Millions of creatures that fly or crawl,
In Texas, Lord, you've put them all.
But this is home, and here we're here to stay,
So, Thank You, Lord, for insect spray.

 

[BunduBasher]

Biting flies - what the heck are they - when we first arrived in Tejas - July 2001, our air-con was broke - we nearly died of heat stroke - I told the management people at our apartments that we were going to stay at a local hotel if they did not fix the dang thing right away (which thankfully they did).

I gew up in the heat and humidity of South Africa, but after having lived 3 years in Indy - I had cooled down a bit.

Yup, we have had a few days over a 100 this week, the boy scout camp this weekend had temps 100+ in the shade - almost had a serious case of heat exhaustion.

Dang, this place is hot :p

 

[evenslower]

Or when you have to water your slab!!!!! Not sure how many other places this gets done. It was news to me when we moved.

I'm still waiting for it to grow and increase my square footage :laugh:

 

[LoriKTM]

I just sent this to a fellow contract worker here... he's on temporary assignment, originally from Dallas.

He walks over and says..."I know this was meant as a joke, but a lot of it really is TRUE!"  :scream:

 

....aaaahhhhh.  Mid-July in New York.  We hit 90+ a couple times, and I ALMOST brought up the window air conditioner from the basement.  But now we're back to normal.  Low 80's during the day, and low 60's at night.  Great sleeping weather, and the electric bill doesn't approach the National Debt. :confused:

evenslower, what's the purpose of watering your slab?!  (Or is that a euphemism for ..uh...something ELSE?! ;)  )

 

[Tony Eeds]

Lori:

We water our around the edges of our slab foundations so the ground under the house does not dry out too much and lets the house shift on its' foundation.

I have seen cracks 2+ inches wide in the black gumbo around here.

We'll find out how Texan some of these guys are.

Anybody know why they put tires on the roof of mobile homes here in Texas? :laugh:

 

[Enduro_Nut]

:) :) - Hey Tony that's a good one and ohhh so true!

Hey - they also do that in Okla. - why is that?? Tornado's just take them off!

 

[LoriKTM]

Originally posted by Tony Eeds
Lori:

We water our around the edges of our slab foundations so the ground under the house does not dry out too much and lets the house shift on its' foundation.

I have seen cracks 2+ inches wide in the black gumbo around here.

 :eek:

 

[ktmboy]

The thermometer on my patio (in the shade!) was reading 112 Sunday as I basked in my swimming pool. The water was 88, and felt cool.
I laughed at the 'watering the concrete' statement, 'cause I do that too, but only to cool it down enough to be able to barefoot it to the pool.

 

[SpeedyManiac]

I've actually had some of those things happen to me...... only I live in CANADA. It's supposed to get up to 100 here!!

 

[evenslower]

Yeah Lori, I had the same reaction. When we were house hunting before the move we noticed every house had those soaker hoses on the ground around the slab. So we finally asked the real esate agent. If we go for a while without rain the ground will dry up and start to pull away from the house so we "water the slab" every couple of days to keep the ground from running away.

Hey Tony, that tire thing isn't solely Texan. Take a drive through Louisiana and you'll see the same thing. Don't foget to put a good layer of aluminum paint up there first.

 

[Green Horn]

Cripes! The worst part is running the AC all night. I work nights too. Go out the front door of my building at 2AM and you're breaking a sweat cuz it's still like 80-85 degrees out WITHOUT ANY FRIGGIN" SUN! :eek:

 

[99CR125OK]

Wednesday evening we were heading home from church at 10:30pm and I looked at my temp on the overhead console and I said to my wife
"Oh look sweetheart, it's cooled down alot, it's only 90 degrees now" :scream:


I feel like this guy -> :flame:

And to top it all off, we're going riding saturday.....forecast......102 degrees........I must be nuts

 

[Thump]

This year has been weak thus far. Quit yer bitchin' 2000 and 1985 were hot. this year is perfect riding weather.

 

[toalco-kdx]

whats the tires on the roof for?

 

[Thump]

Okay... rode for 4 hours today... 104 actual temp with 112 heat index it was feakin hot! The good news is I am now under 200lbs. Ofcourse i have had more than 2 gallons of gatorade and as much water today and i have yet to pee so I am sure it is just water weight I lost and not my fat gut.

 

[Treejumper]

Originally posted by toalco-kdx
whats the tires on the roof for?

Yeah, what are they for? My guess is to absorb the heat instead of the trailers roof.

 

[Tony Eeds]

Dang I'm sorry guys for not getting back to the thread sooner. I was on vacation for a week riding a bicycle across Iowa.

In any case the answer is ....

drum roll

To keep the metal roof of the tornado magnets from slapping in the wind!

 

[Treejumper]

Guess that makes sense.

 

[James Miller]

I honestly thought the tires were for lightning strikes, seeing as most trailers have metal roofs. Since rubber doesn't conduct electricity, I figure it's just a cheap alternative to a lightning rod. This is what my 16 year old mind thought up, so if this is not right, correct me!

James

 

[tx246]

ok you slab watering people pay attention.

i just had mucho money put into an engineering exercise to put my slab back in place. i was told by the engineer:

1. do keep shrubs 3 ft from the house
2. do have gutters and make sure they dump at least 3 ft from the house
3. slabs get into trouble when the moisture content is UNEVEN AROUND THE
HOUSE.
3. do not plant any trees where they are/will overhang your roof. the drip
line underground looks just like the tree does above ground.
4. tree roots head for a house foundation because the moisture under it is
trapped and can not evaporate.
5. roots from trees and watering shrubs are the main causes of slab heaving.

when they were digging up around my house to put piers in, you wouldnt believe the roots. it was like the trees were strangling the house. my slab dropped one measley inch and it was a disaster. sheet rock cracked (not on joint lines either), doors/windows wouldnt work..........it was a hell of a mess.

if you do have trees close to the house, he recommended cutting em down. if you didnt cut em down he said the next best thing was to trench the trees. cut 28 inch deep slit trench around the tree with the distance from the tree depending on how big it is. next drop in 24"x10' aluminum panels and cover em up. this forces the roots down and thats where they usually find a better source of water anyway. keep this in mind. a full size oak can go thru a couple of hundred gallons of water a day. its easy to see why they can affect ground moisture levels.

 

[MX2_motorex]

I remember watching a spinoff movie about fighter planes and stuff and there was a pilot who was afrade of getting struck by lightning in the air so he had a bunch of tires all over his fighter jet. I forget witch one it was I think it was hot shots or something but it was funny. It gets just as hot up here, I go jump into the lake after a long day of riding in the heat. It was 100 last week!! I cant wait till the fall and spring when its actualy comfertable out.

Andrew

 

[cactusreid]

b.c.canada july 31/2003 weather report-friggin hot!!! 100 f or as we canucks now know it 39.5 celcius. If it wasn't for the beer and the swimming pool I'm not sure I would make it!!! It's been so hot here for about 3 wks now that I've got a new set of tires on my bike,that are a month old today and they don't have 1 ride on them yet.