Can anyone give me any ideas on how to get a bike like Hi Lard Gomer? It needs to be able to:
- Make me feel like Ricky when I look at it,
- Make me feel like James when I ride it,
- Make me feel like Travis when I crash it.
I don't want it to be red... Red bikes are no good.
I like his sheep skin seat cover, but I can get that at KMart.
I have some handlebars at home off the old KTM 50s... He once told me that is how he rides in the woods so fast. (Secret) When your handlebars hit the trees it jerks your front wheel... Use handlebars off a 50 and your bars are no wider than the tank. Then your fat a$$ will bounce off the trees and it helps to keep the bike going straight through the woods. If the 50 bars are still stick out beyond your tank... Just loosen the four bolts located under the crossbar pad. If you see you are going to hit a tree, just slide your bars to the other side! Don't email me with thanks, just thank Gomer.
I don't know if all bikes take 8 D Cell batteries, but I could get one without that vibrating kickstarter like his I think it would be better.
Hey Gomer, remember the time you came to Dirt Country to race (oh, of course not, you knocked yourself unconscious on the tunnel jump)... We spent all evening trying to jet your bike because it kept bogging over the jumps... Then we realized it was your beer gut pinching the air vent to the tank. Once we wrapped you with duct tape and cut down your... Uhm... Girth by three inches, the bike ran just fine.
*** Tech Tip *** If you are over 500 lbs and need to set your rear sag... Make sure your rolls are not touching the ground when both feet are on the pegs.
*** Warranty Tip *** If you are over 500 lbs, Honda will not honor the 5 yr / 50,000 mile warranty on your swingarm. It is called the HLG exclusion.
Anyone that has a bike for sale like Gomers, just ship it to my house and I will check it out. If I decide it is not as good as Gomer's, you can just come and pick it up... I won't keep it.
TMax
Bare with me... I am still figurin out all this fansy computter stuf.
- Make me feel like Ricky when I look at it,
- Make me feel like James when I ride it,
- Make me feel like Travis when I crash it.
I don't want it to be red... Red bikes are no good.
I like his sheep skin seat cover, but I can get that at KMart.
I have some handlebars at home off the old KTM 50s... He once told me that is how he rides in the woods so fast. (Secret) When your handlebars hit the trees it jerks your front wheel... Use handlebars off a 50 and your bars are no wider than the tank. Then your fat a$$ will bounce off the trees and it helps to keep the bike going straight through the woods. If the 50 bars are still stick out beyond your tank... Just loosen the four bolts located under the crossbar pad. If you see you are going to hit a tree, just slide your bars to the other side! Don't email me with thanks, just thank Gomer.
I don't know if all bikes take 8 D Cell batteries, but I could get one without that vibrating kickstarter like his I think it would be better.
Hey Gomer, remember the time you came to Dirt Country to race (oh, of course not, you knocked yourself unconscious on the tunnel jump)... We spent all evening trying to jet your bike because it kept bogging over the jumps... Then we realized it was your beer gut pinching the air vent to the tank. Once we wrapped you with duct tape and cut down your... Uhm... Girth by three inches, the bike ran just fine.
*** Tech Tip *** If you are over 500 lbs and need to set your rear sag... Make sure your rolls are not touching the ground when both feet are on the pegs.
*** Warranty Tip *** If you are over 500 lbs, Honda will not honor the 5 yr / 50,000 mile warranty on your swingarm. It is called the HLG exclusion.
Anyone that has a bike for sale like Gomers, just ship it to my house and I will check it out. If I decide it is not as good as Gomer's, you can just come and pick it up... I won't keep it.
TMax
Bare with me... I am still figurin out all this fansy computter stuf.
