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General Moto | Off-Topic Posts
Okay, I need help.....again. Who knows about cats?
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[QUOTE="LoriKTM, post: 345631, member: 18495"] Ah, Thunder33, giving the cat medicine? Well, you can probably relate to this.. How To Give A Pill To A Cat: 1. Pick the cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right fore finger and thumb on either side of cat’s mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As the cat opens mouth, pop pill in mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow. 2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process. 3. Retrieve cat from bedroom and throw soggy pill away. 4. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm, holding rear paws tightly in left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of 10. 5. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from the bottom of your wardrobe. Call spouse from garden. 6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, holding front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold cat’s head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat’s throat vigorously. 7. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines from hearth and set to one side for gluing later. 8. Wrap cat in a large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with its head just visible from below spouse’s armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw; force cat’s mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw. 9.Check label to make sure pill is not harmful to humans, drink glass of water to take taste away. 10. Retrieve cat from neighbour’s shed. Get another pill. Place cat in cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band. 11. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put door back on hinges. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Throw T-shirt away and fetch a new one from the bedroom. 12. Ring fire brigade to retrieve cat from tree across the road. Apologise to neighbour who crashed into a fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil wrap. 13. Tie cat’s front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table. Find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed. Force cat’s mouth open with small spanner. Push pill into mouth followed by a large piece of fillet steak. Hold head vertically and pour a pint of water down throat to wash down pill. 14. Get spouse to drive you to emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill fragments from right eye. Stop by furniture store on way home to order new table. 15. Arrange for animal shelter to collect the cat and see if they have any guinea pigs available. [/QUOTE]
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Forums
MX, SX & Off-Road Discussions
General Moto | Off-Topic Posts
Okay, I need help.....again. Who knows about cats?
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