MOTO ON RM250

Member
Aug 10, 2007
114
1
this is a narrative for my english 10 class. this is only the rough draft. tell me what you think.

A Night to Remember
It was the last weekend of the summer going into 10th grade. I competed in my first motocross race that Saturday and what a way to end the summer. The Wednesday before was practice night and as usual I was there. I had been to a lot of practices before but I didn’t think I was ready to race at the level I wanted to until that Wednesday. I rode faster, more comfortably, and was probably having more fun that anyone there. That night I decided that I was ready.
Saturday couldn’t have come sooner. I woke up at about 9 that morning to my dads’ voice telling me that he needed help with the garage he was building. It was easy work though as he knew how much this race meant to me. We went to burger king for lunch and I took 2 vitamins to give me some extra energy I would need later. We stopped by leesons and speedway on the way home because I needed to get two stroke oil, gas, numbers for my side panels, a clutch lever and a new bar pad. I was desperately in need for new tires but there was no way we could change them in time for the race. When I got home I put the new parts on my bike and cleaned it up. No way was my bike going to be dirty for my first race. It was finally time to head to the track. The way I felt from the second I got in the truck to the full size bike practice was completely new to me. We parked on the hill overlooking the track. I had never seen it from this point of view before. When it came time to practice I wasn’t feeling butterflies, I was feeling about a dozen mothmen flying around in my stomach. When I took off down the straight the adrenaline kicked in and I felt great. I was riding faster than ever and my confidence was boosted back to its normal level. The guy beside me in the pits – who I remember passing in practice – asked me what class I was racing. “250 beginner” I said. “No way are you a beginner! I’m racing 250 beginner to”, was the response I got. “Yeah this is actually my first race”, I told him. I don’t think he believed me. “Really? This is my 2nd race. I raced here last weekend”, he told me. “Yeah but I practice here a lot.” I said. They had just announced that heat 1 for 250 beginner was going to race after the expert quad class and age 13-15 85 class. “Oh I see. Well we better be headin down to the gate” he said. We both wished each other good luck and went to the gate. The 250 beginner class, 125 beginner , and +40 class raced at the same time. A guy at the gate yelled out our name and after you checked in with him, then you could pick your gate. My name was almost last to be called. I was at a clear disadvantage here as I got the far inside gate that was full of loose dirt because no one had used it so far. There were about 20 of us. I was also shorter, lighter, and younger everyone along with having severely worn tires. This played a big role in my start as I could barely touch with both toes. I would also have start slower than everyone so I didn’t loop out and I would have poor traction. The guy raised his hand which meant the gate would drop in 3-5 seconds. I put it in 2nd gear, put my head over the bars, and applied about half throttle. When the gate dropped, I let the clutch out smoothly and got a much better start than anticipated. At the first turn I was in a close 4th. The guy in 2nd wrecked the guy in 1st which put me in 2nd place. I ended finishing 2nd the first heat after a close battle for 1st. He beat me by a bike length. I returned back to the pits and my family to hear about how great I did for my first race. In my mind I did alright. I wasn’t going to accept getting 2nd place. When time came around for my 2nd heat it was dark and the lights were on. While waiting at the gate, I realized my goggles were fogged up. I didn’t get nearly as good as start as the first heat and by now the track was hard and dry. I could feel that my motor wasn’t revving out like it had before due to the fact that in the first heat I was over-revving it way more than I should have. I ended up getting 4th that heat and 3rd out of 7 overall. Not bad for my first race I guess but to say the least I was disappointed. It was a big learning experience for me and I am a much better rider because of it. Some people say you never forget your firsts; your first kiss, your first car, your first love. I will never forget my first race.
 
Last edited:

warrior91

Member
Jan 31, 2008
26
0
Good draft...Don't forget to make proper paragraphs, and punctuation.

Nice story bud. I hope you can write about your first Win in grade 11 english.
 

MOTO ON RM250

Member
Aug 10, 2007
114
1
there are paragraphs on the document but it didnt keep the indentions when i copied and pasted it. yeah bad punctuation i know. ill be fixing that tomorrow night. i need to shorten it some to and make the story shorter. its supposed to be 2 pages but i just touched on 4. hopefully my peer editors will give me some suggestions tomorrow on what to keep and what to get rid of. and if i can write about motocross again in a different paper then i hope im writing about my first win. thanks for reading
 

oldguy

Always Broken
Dec 26, 1999
9,419
0
Great job on both the paper and the race. Reading it was fun and reminded me of race days especially those that we were helping a new racer.
just one critique that I saw- Try to smooth out the first couple sentences they are choppy and really do not have a point
 

MOTO ON RM250

Member
Aug 10, 2007
114
1
your probaly talking about the way i worked on the garage, right? im gonna take that out. it is irrelevant and would shorten the paper. thanks for the suggestion
 

Apr 30, 2007
657
0
I work with the composition classes here at my college, and your essay looks better than many I have seen at the college level!

There are a few punctuation errors here and there, but I didn't see much more than that!

I always love reading about others' experiences with racing! Nice work, and thanks for sharing!! :cool:
 

Reesknight

~SPONSOR~
Oct 31, 2002
942
0
MOTO ON RM250 said:
The 250 beginner class, 125 beginner , and +40 class raced at the same time.
Oh great, put us old guys in with the 'Look I'm James Stewart' beginners so they can jump on and crash us. :bang:

Nice job on the paper! :cool:
 

MOTO ON RM250

Member
Aug 10, 2007
114
1
yeah the punctuation will be fixed by the time i turn it in. we did peer editing today and i found/ changed some stuff. i didnt think id be toppin any college kids lol. and i prefer 'look im ricky carmichael'. the guy that won was james stewart lol
 

Sawblade

Timmy Timmy Timmy!
Sep 24, 2000
1,491
0
Nice report! Make sure you write another report after your second race. :cool:
 


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