Foot in mouth disease

[jfurniss]

Boy, do I feel like a dork!
A guy at work was leaving for the night, and our conversation went like this:
Him: "Well, I'm leaving"
Me: "Got any big plans for tonight?"
Him: "Yeah, I'm going to meet some great looking blonde"
Me: (joking) "I'm telling your wife":eek:

He laughed, but, boy, did I feel stupid. Anybody else ever say anything they wish they could take back?

 

[Okiewan]

[glow=2]Me?[/glow]
Nah :silly:

 

[michigan]

When in the company of overweight people, I tend to make negative comments about overweight people. Major F.I.M.
I know, I know. I'm a bad person.

 

[gibbs_6]

Originally posted by michigan
When in the company of overweight people, I tend to make negative comments about overweight people. Major F.I.M.
I know, I know. I'm a bad person.

I do that, but not with overweight people just other things.:eek: :)

 

[kingriz1]

I have a chronic and serious case of the disease.

Doctors are at a loss and think quaranitine is the only way to help it.

Sincerely,

Riz

 

[biglou]

Well heck.

Usually when I open my mouth, it's just to change feet.:uh:

 

[Smitty]

I was halfway into a sentence giving a guy a hard time about stuttering when I realized, He Really Stutters! He did not stutter at all in normal conversation, but when I asked him where his house was so I could get a party he couldn't get the words out. Anyways, I start to say "Come on man, it's not that hard, just spit it out." But as a say "Come on" my buddy's eyes bulge way out like somebody just did a hernia check on him and I shut up real quick. Talk about feeling like a jerk.:uh:

 

[JuliusPleaser]

LMAO! I do it on a daily basis. Is there treatment available? Sign me up!

 

[XRpredator]

Most of my attacks of this affliction come when I'm talking to the wife. I can see the change in her look (from nice, warm and lovable to the ice maiden) as soon as I utter the wrong phrase.

Sometimes it seems like I'm saying "Sorry" more than anything else! :uh:

 

[gospeedracer]

As much as I would like to pipe in here with some witty comment like this must be a side affect of excess testosterone, but I too am debilitated with this tragic disease. :ugg:
I ran in to an old co-worker I hadn’t seen in some time. She was pregnant when I left the company we both worked for and when I ran into her she had her, now apox. 2 year old, daughter with her. She had more of a tummy than I remembered and I was halfway through, “Oh, are you pregnant again?” with the intent of congratulating her, when I stopped myself and remembered that it would have been highly unlikely. :scream:

 

[biglou]

If I've learned anything, and I mean anything, in my life, it's that I will never, ever ask about the size of a woman's stomache. I don't care if she's wearing a T-shirt that says "Under Construction" with an arrow pointing to her basketball-sized gut. There's just no good that can come out of commenting on it.

 

[drtbikesrule]

i do that all the time and boy do i wish i could take some stuff back!

 

[justql]

I know a woman that's been pregnant for four years...........men are suppose to have the big bellies.

 

[motometal]

I remember when I first met Jaybird at Dirtweek I had a Suzuki hat on, and he made some negative comment about Hondas. Little did he know I rode a Honda!

Actually, I probably deserved it, as I may have been making fun of his "pumkinmobile":)

 

[Milquetoast]

It happens so often to me that now I only feel comfortable wearing my mint-flavored shoes! ;-)

 

[Jaybird]

LOL, motometal...
I can't remember what I was saying about Honda's, but I remember that at that same moment Jay (MX547) was standing over by the fire and his radar went up when he heard "Honda" mentioned.

I don't blame y'all for wearing other brand hats though, ....heck I would too.
:p
No, seriously....I think they are great lil toys, and so cute too. :debil:

(for you readers who don't know us.....both of these guys can punish me harshly on the mx track no matter what brand) :)

 

[sfc crash]

i've learned..1. before responding to my wife, run the entire respnse over through my head, and, like at chess,anticipate any responses. therefore, most of the time when my wife's talking to me,i just stand there,speachless with a stupid look on my face. 2.when talking to strangers, smile real wide like,after everything i say. that way, if i offend, i'm standing there with a stupid grin on my face and they think me "simple", as in "heck..he don't know no better, look at'em, he aint right.":silly:

 

[Jamir]

Ha! These are great. How about telling a "Pollock Joke" to someone who is Polish?

Where I work, we have (gasp) cubicles. Sometimes we will get into a heated conversation slamming someone or a group of someones , not realizing that the 1 inch thick, 4' tall walls are great sound barriers. Oh well, I have never said anything that I would not tell them to their face!

This is great though, I have a couple of different ways I pull this off.
1.I rarely smile at work which leads to lots of comments such as, "Smile, it can't be that bad" or "Turn that frown upside down". But, the on occasion, someone eventually says it. The be all end all of annoying phrases, "Geeze, did someone die?" Then I look them straight in the face and say, "Yeah, my sister, but thanks for your support." Then I walk away. I DON'T EVEN HAVE A SISTER!
2.Same principle. Someone trash talks someone else and I pipe up with, "Oh, yeah, that is my aunt".....or uncle or cousin, something like that.

Sure, these are childish, but it makes me feel better about all of those times that I stick my own foot in my mouth! :p :p :p :p

 

[High Lord Gomer]

I was halfway into a sentence giving a guy a hard time about stuttering

I usd to work with a guy that stuttered badly, but he was really cool about it. One day in a meeting he was trying to say something that started with "M", but after 30 seconds of saying, "Maaaa Maaaaa Maaaaa", he stopped and (in a perfectly clear voice) said, "Listen to me, I sound like Goat-Boy!"

 

[JuliusPleaser]

LOL!

I have a friend (Justin) who has a "wandering eye". One evening our crew were all sitting around in my store talking, and he looked toward his girlfriend and said "Cheryl, you look really nice today." My secretary, (also named Cheryl) laughed and said "Which one of us are you talking to?"

Without missing a beat, Justin said "I got an eye on both of you."

 

[Old CR goat]

I had a friend in Ga. with an eye like that, it was funny to watch him mess with folks. If someone was talking with him, no matter which eye they would look at, he would point to the other " I'm using this one today". He said he was great in Atlanta traffic. could watch both mirrors at the same time.