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Message: [QUOTE="VintageDirt, post: 1318131, member: 21172"] Well then let's just get it over with... Why do the English drink warm beer? They have Lucas refrigerators. The Lucas motto: "Get home before dark." Lucas denies having invented darkness. But does claim the "sudden, unexpected darkness" Lucas is the patent holder for the short circuit. Lucas - Inventor of the first intermittent wiper. Lucas - Inventor of the self-dimming headlamp. The three position Lucas switch - Dim, Flicker and Off. The other three switch settings - Smoke, Smolder and Burn. The Original Anti-Theft Device - Lucas Electrics. If Lucas made guns, wars would not start either. Did you hear about the Lucas powered torpedo - It sank! It's not true that Lucas, in 1947, tried to get Parliament to repeal Ohm's Law. They withdrew their efforts when they meet too much resistance. Did you hear the one about the guy that peeked into a Land Rover and asked the owner "How can you tell one switch from another at night, as they all look the same ?" "He replied, it does not matter which one you use, nothing happens !" Lucas systems actually uses AC current; it just has a random frequency. Back in the 70's, Lucas decided to diversify its product line and began manufacturing vacuum cleaners. It was the only product they offered which did not suck. (this joke has been known to be used when refering to Harleys) QA called and told the Engineering they had trouble with his design shorting out so he made the wires longer. Recommended procedure before taking on a repair of Lucas equipment: Check the position of the stars, kill a chicken and walk three times sunwise around your car chanting: " Oh mighty Prince of Darkness protect your unworthy servant.." Also, George owned an AJS back in the 70s and he swears that if the neighbor three doors down was watering the lawn, the AJS wouldn't start. [/QUOTE]

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