If dogs could ask ....

[Tony Eeds]

If you are a dog owner...you will really appreciate this one.

Dear God, Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?

Dear God, When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it the same old story?

Dear God, Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a dog?
How often do you see a cougar riding around?
We dogs love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the 'Chrysler Eagle' the 'Chrysler Beagle'?

Dear God, If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?

Dear God, We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?

Dear God, More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.

Dear God, When we get to the Pearly Gates, do we have to shake hands to get in?

Dear God, Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?

Dear God, Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good dog:

* I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up.
* I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.
* I will not munch on "leftovers" in the kitty litter box; although they are tasty, they are not food.
* The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.
* The sofa is not a face towel; neither are Mom and Dad's laps.
* The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
* My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
* I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Mom's driver's license and registration.
* I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.
* Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is not an acceptable way of saying 'hello.'
* I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee table.
* I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house.
* I will not throw up in the car.
* I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt across the carpet.
* I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch when company is over.
* The cat is not a squeaky toy; so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.

Dear God, May I have my testicles back

 

[IrishEKU]

LMAO! Thanks Tony!
:)

 

[GETMETOCA]

Tony, that was so funny. I could see my dog Sparky asking all the same questions with his cute little head cocked to the side and that quizzical look on his face.

 

[Okiewan]

:(

 

[Tony Eeds]

Okie sir, there was a tear in my I when I read the email myself. Dogs are perhaps the most loving creatures on earth.

 

[IrishEKU]

^^^AMEN^^^

 

[oldguy]

Bound to get me in trouble but.....

What is the diferrance between the dog in its kennel out back barking his head off to come inside and your wife at the front door yelling for you to open the door to let her in?






The dog will shut up once it gets inside

 

[Jeff Gilbert]

And you're supposed to be a peace officer Oldguy? ;)

 

[70 marlin]

So true!

 

[fender92883]

Dogs are loving towards the people close to them, but if you get near those people when the dog is around (at least with some dogs), you better be wearing pants that you don't particularly like. I am scared of dogs that I am not familiar with...they are unpredictable and some of them are MUCH more powerful than they realize. Even though there are many dogs who I really like, I guess I'm just more of a cat person...

 

[Green Horn]

Funny posts Tony and Oldguy! :thumb:

 

[ktmboy]

I work a rural delivery route where many dogs run loose. I use my horn alot, since I won't get out until I see the owner, and they say the dog is okay!
I love dogs----I just don't like when they're attatched to my leg!

("Hey, delivery dude, get away from my owner!")

 

[Jon K.]

Originally posted by Tony Eeds

Dear God, May I have my testicles back

Or in my dogs Princess' case;

Dear God, can I have my tongue back?

 

[Philip]

:thumb: I am thinking of my little buddy right now. Ours lives with 2 cats so she's outnumbered but she gives em hell anyway. :laugh:

 

[Txbigguy]

Here is another great poem that the DFW Lab rescue has on their website... It still brings a tear to my eye reading it.....
How Could you???
Copyright Jim Willis 2001
[email protected]
When I was a puppy, I entertained you with my antics and made you laugh. You called me your child, and despite a number of chewed shoes and a couple of murdered throw pillows, I became your best friend. Whenever I was "bad," you'd shake your finger at me and ask "How could you?" - but then you'd relent, and roll me over for a belly rub.

My housebreaking took a little longer than expected, because you were terribly busy, but we worked on that together. I remember those nights of nuzzling you in bed and listening to your confidences and secret dreams, and I believed that life could not be any more perfect. We went for long walks and runs in the park, car rides, stops for ice cream (I only got the cone because "ice cream is bad for dogs," you said), and I took long naps in the sun waiting for you to come home at the end of the day.

Gradually, you began spending more time at work and on your career, and more time searching for a human mate. I waited for you patiently, comforted you through heartbreaks and disappointments, never chided you about bad decisions, and romped with glee at your homecomings, and when you fell in love.

She, now your wife, is not a "dog person" - still I welcomed her into our home, tried to show her affection, and obeyed her. I was happy because you were happy. Then the human babies came along and I shared your excitement. I was fascinated by their pinkness, how they smelled, and I wanted to mother them, too. Only she and you worried that I might hurt them, and I spent most of my time banished to another room, or to a dog crate. Oh, how I wanted to love them, but I became a "prisoner of love."

As they began to grow, I became their friend. They clung to my fur and pulled themselves up on wobbly legs, poked fingers in my eyes, investigated my ears, and gave me kisses on my nose. I loved everything about them and their touch - because your touch was now so infrequent - and I would have defended them with my life if need be.

I would sneak into their beds and listen to their worries and secret dreams, and together we waited for the sound of your car in the driveway. There had been a time, when others asked you if you had a dog, that you produced a photo of me from your wallet and told them stories about me. These past few years, you just answered "yes" and changed the subject. I had gone from being "your dog" to "just a dog," and you resented every expenditure on my behalf.

Now, you have a new career opportunity in another city, and you and they will be moving to an apartment that does not allow pets. You've made the right decision for your "family," but there was a time when I was your only family.

I was excited about the car ride until we arrived at the animal shelter. It smelled of dogs and cats, of fear, of hopelessness. You filled out the paperwork and said, "I know you will find a good home for her." They shrugged and gave you a pained look. They understand the realities facing a middle-aged dog, even one with "papers." You had to pry your son's fingers loose from my collar, as he screamed "No, Daddy Please don't let them take my dog!" And I worried for him, and what lessons you had just taught him about friendship and loyalty, about love and responsibility, and about respect for all life. You gave me a good-bye pat on the head, avoided my eyes, and politely refused to take my collar and leash with you. You had a deadline to meet and now I have one, too.

After you left, the two nice ladies said you probably knew about your upcoming move months ago and made no attempt to find me another good home. They shook their heads and asked, "How could you?"

They are as attentive to us here in the shelter as their busy schedules allow. They feed us, of course, but I lost my appetite days ago. At first, whenever anyone passed my pen, I rushed to the front, hoping it was you - that you had changed your mind - that this was all a bad dream...or I hoped it would at least be someone who cared, anyone who might save me. When I realized I could not compete with the frolicking for attention of happy puppies, oblivious to their own fate, I retreated to a far corner and waited.

I heard her footsteps as she came for me at the end of the day, and I padded along the aisle after her to a separate room. A blissfully quiet room. She placed me on the table and rubbed my ears, and told me not to worry. My heart pounded in anticipation of what was to come, but there was also a sense of relief. The prisoner of love had run out of days.

As is my nature, I was more concerned about her. The burden which she bears weighs heavily on her, and I know that, the same way I knew your every mood.

She gently placed a tourniquet around my foreleg as a tear ran down her cheek. I licked her hand in the same way I used to comfort you so many years ago. She expertly slid the hypodermic needle into my vein. As I felt the sting and the cool liquid coursing through my body, I lay down sleepily, looked into her kind eyes and murmured "How could you?" Perhaps because she understood my dogspeak, she said "I'm so sorry." She hugged me, and hurriedly explained it was her job to make sure I went to a better place, where I wouldn't be ignored or abused or abandoned, or have to fend for myself - a place of love and light so very different from this earthly place. And with my last bit of energy, I tried to convey to her with a thump of my tail that my "How could you?" was not directed at her. It was you, My Beloved Master, I was thinking of. I will think of you and wait for you forever.

May everyone in your life continue to show you so much loyalty.

The End


:whiner: :whiner:

 

[LoriKTM]

Aw Tx, couldn't you have waited until I was home to post that?  :(

I've read that before, and knew how it ended, but I read it again and had to grab a tissue quick before my coworkers found me. 

I hate seeing those ads in the paper, "Moving...must find good home for..." dog, cat, whatever.  Especially when they are older animals.   Don't people think ahead of time?  Animals are not just a commodity to be given away when they're too big, too furry, or too old.  These people certainly wouldn't treat their kids this way. :think:

Last August, our well-loved Newfoundland died of cancer.  This May, we finally had enough courage to start thinking about another dog.  As it happened, a friend of a friend had a 4-year old Newfie/Border Collie he was looking to give away.  The dog had been tied out for the past 2 years (no walks, not let in the house.  Only given food & water), and hadn't been brushed or bathed in over a year.  The dog was a mess of hair, but surprisingly not a spastic nerfbag from the lack of attention.  We agreed to give him a new home.  It's been rough, though.  The dog is sharp as a tack (probably too smart for his own good!) and willing to learn, but has lots of energy.  (Think of a 100 pound excitable Border Collie and you get the idea!)  He also thinks that our cats and birds are "snacks" and not other pack members.  So, he spends more time outside in his kennel than I'd like, but we're slowly bringing him around.  But he is a good watchdog, and I'm just glad to see him run around and chase balls and have a good ole time, rather than be tied on a rope 24/7.  We can't help them all, but try to help some.

Here's our "little" bundle of energy after we'd had him a couple weeks ( a rare moment when I got him to "sit" long enough to snap the picture!)

 

[MrLuckey]

Damn TX :(

 

[NVR FNSH]

Not nice TX - I'm sitting here at work and my dog is at home in the back yard........ I think the hardest thing I've ever done is gone to an animal shelter and walked out without taking a dog or cat home. I'd rather go to a hospital or hospice full of terminal cancer patients - at least they know what's happening.

Brian

 

[Chili]

Man Tx that is a tearjerker :whiner: For the life of me I can not imagine how anyone could do that to a pet :think:

 

[whyzee]

Tx. man that left a huge lump in my throat. It's sad we could treat our most loyal friends with so little care. Had to give my pup a special hug.
This is Abbey:

 

[steve125]

He is your friend. Your partner, your defender, your dog! You are his life, love and leader. He will be yours, faithful and true to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion.     

Unknown

 

[kenl]

a few words from our furry friends is always a treat. thank you

 

[Tony Eeds]

Dang it Dave, I just found your post.

I'm with Lori, I don't for the life of me understand how someone could be that way. All I have right now is cats because I don't have a fenced yard, but I look forward to the day when I can get another mut.