Things haven't gone well for me for about 2 years. This is not health, job etc issues, but riding. I haven't been into it, enjoying it much. I also haven't been able to tell anyone what's been wrong as I didn't know.
I'm still not sure what's been going on, but I've not only seen the light on the other side of the tunnel, I've come out of it, only to find I've gone in a full circle.
I used to not be able to sleep due to excitement because I was going riding. I've been unable to sleep due to nervousness because I was going riding & not riding because I was too tired. Now I just can't sleep because I'm too busy & haven't got time.
I've been taking my riding too seriously & getting down about how crap I am. I have started to realise that even those that I look up to sometimes make mistakes or have troubles with something. Basically, I've started having fun again.
If you read my ride report last week, you'd know I'd met up with someone & gone riding with him & his son. We met up again on Friday night & went riding together. We had a competition going as to who could fall off the most (or stuff up). I'm sure I bet him by one stuff-up but can't honestly remember. (didn't really keep count until working it out at the end of the ride). I thoroughly enjoyed the evening.
On Sunday, after 3 hours sleep, we left home to go riding about 1-1/2 hours south. Listening to the briefing, I got butterflies really badly - talk of holes to swallow cars, rocks, downhills & I can't remember what. Henk had taken the CRM250 & was riding with me. I didn't realise he was there for the most part (way different to when he's riding the TM) & just made sure he was still with me. What I didn't realise was he was helping people out occasionally & so every now & then I'd stop to wait for him, wondering what had happened.
At one point, going through a few trees, I heard a rev & then nothing. I was following another female at the time, but thought the rev had come from behind me. It wasn't a point I wanted to look behind so looked behind once I was clear of there. Nothing, no one, nada. I just cruised along slowly, all the while looking back, waiting for a bike to pop out. The other female had stopped a bit further along & was also looking back. I stopped & said I was waiting for her husband. She said she was waiting for her partner & friends, but hadn't seen them for ages. A couple of bikes popped out & carried on. Still no sign of Henk. By this stage I was getting worried as he was taking so long & I'd had some guys go past me who'd been sort of out of control (I hadn't liked the way they passed me & thought maybe there had been another one who'd crashed into Henk). Finally he popped out & said he'd been helping someone change a plug. He then said to the other female that he had seen her friends ages back.
The three of us continued on and at one point lost the trail. After turning the bikes around, figuring out where we were meant to go, we had a cruisey ride back. When we got back to the cars, the other female found her friends there - they'd gone past us where we'd gotten lost, hence the confusion & not seeing them again.
On the afternoon ride, we had been told there was an extra loop in it, if we were quick enough. I'd heard that & decided Henk would go mad at me if he missed that out, so I better get my A into G & be there in time. There was a creek crossing that a lot of people had problems with. You went down a steep bank, across the creek & there it turned into slippery clay, full of ruts. I'd got across the first time (morning), but thought we'd lose too much time if I took the bike across the 2nd time, so Henk could take it (I took photos).
We got to the loop in time & someone was sitting there & pointed up the hill, so off I went. Henk stopped to ask him what the story was & told that up the hill was the loop, through the gate was home. He then wondered if I knew what I'd just done. I recognised that we'd been through the terrain before & tried to think of what was coming up. I was pretty sure the creek crossing was in it, so wondered how I'd fare 3rd time round. Just as we were sitting at the top of the hill discussing what was possibly the best line, we saw a couple of other riders go another way. Okay, so that's the best line, I can do this. There was a step to the creek, where I promptly laid the bike down on my leg (it was still pretty upright as a groove had been cut into the bank). Henk lifted the bike off me (I was still on it as well as under it) and off I went. Once he saw I was up, he went to go, but in the meantime (unbeknown to me) another rider had come along & taken the same line - but muffed it totally, so Henk had to help him too. I sat at the top of the hill & waited. Finally we were on our way again.
At one point, I saw a couple of kids in a creek pushing a bike out, so yelled out to ask if they needed a hand. I then parked my bike, turned off my gas & went to help out. We got the bike up & a couple of marshalls had turned up, so we discussed as to how the bike got there. Finally got going again, then ran out of gas. Henk parked next to me to ask what the problem was & the marshalls pulled up behind him. I told him to move so they could get past, but they said they were sweep & had to wait for us. I started my bike again & off we all went.
With the sweep behind me, I got really nervous & would stuff things up I'd had no problem with in the morning. I was also getting tired as it was the most riding I've done in a long, long time. We made it back, no bikes broken, no bones broken, & feeling like I'd achieved something.
Last night, for the first time in a long time, I dreamt about going riding: "a friend had marked out a trail & so I'd followed it for the most part. I'd seen an older trail off to the side so went on that instead & found where it joined the new trail. When I asked him why he'd changed it, he told me it was because of the downhill. I asked him which downhill as hadn't really noticed any. He then explained that just because I'm okay with downhills, doesn't mean everyone is. I then realised how far my riding had come." I woke up thinking, hmmm, yeah, I am improving but more importantly, I'm having fun again.
Yes, I enjoy riding with other females, but the fact is I'd rather go riding & have fun. There will be times (many, no doubt), I ride alone, but I'll be riding more with Henk too. I've just got to figure out how to push myself when riding with him. I've set myself a goal, so hopefully that'll help. I've also figured out with my ear op I'll be missing out one ride - it's a quiet month - wahoooooo!!!!!
Anyway, I'm sure you gals have helped with the whole process. I know I've been quiet on the ride report front (thank goodness, I hear you say), but tough, I'm back. I honestly can't believe how long it's taken me, but I'm glad I listened to Henk & didn't sell the bike (don't tell him that). I'm also over the bike envy business, I love my KDX and am looking forward to having it lowered while I'm not riding. It's the odd time it'll make a difference, but it'll be great.
So thank you all, your support has been needed & gratefully accepted. I hope my story helps someone who is having motivation/inspiration problems - yes, there is light at the end of the tunnel, definitely it's worth carrying on to the end not turning back or giving up. If I can help anyone, feel free to email me.
Michelle
(the chatterbox is back hehehehehehe)
I'm still not sure what's been going on, but I've not only seen the light on the other side of the tunnel, I've come out of it, only to find I've gone in a full circle.
I used to not be able to sleep due to excitement because I was going riding. I've been unable to sleep due to nervousness because I was going riding & not riding because I was too tired. Now I just can't sleep because I'm too busy & haven't got time.
I've been taking my riding too seriously & getting down about how crap I am. I have started to realise that even those that I look up to sometimes make mistakes or have troubles with something. Basically, I've started having fun again.
If you read my ride report last week, you'd know I'd met up with someone & gone riding with him & his son. We met up again on Friday night & went riding together. We had a competition going as to who could fall off the most (or stuff up). I'm sure I bet him by one stuff-up but can't honestly remember. (didn't really keep count until working it out at the end of the ride). I thoroughly enjoyed the evening.
On Sunday, after 3 hours sleep, we left home to go riding about 1-1/2 hours south. Listening to the briefing, I got butterflies really badly - talk of holes to swallow cars, rocks, downhills & I can't remember what. Henk had taken the CRM250 & was riding with me. I didn't realise he was there for the most part (way different to when he's riding the TM) & just made sure he was still with me. What I didn't realise was he was helping people out occasionally & so every now & then I'd stop to wait for him, wondering what had happened.
At one point, going through a few trees, I heard a rev & then nothing. I was following another female at the time, but thought the rev had come from behind me. It wasn't a point I wanted to look behind so looked behind once I was clear of there. Nothing, no one, nada. I just cruised along slowly, all the while looking back, waiting for a bike to pop out. The other female had stopped a bit further along & was also looking back. I stopped & said I was waiting for her husband. She said she was waiting for her partner & friends, but hadn't seen them for ages. A couple of bikes popped out & carried on. Still no sign of Henk. By this stage I was getting worried as he was taking so long & I'd had some guys go past me who'd been sort of out of control (I hadn't liked the way they passed me & thought maybe there had been another one who'd crashed into Henk). Finally he popped out & said he'd been helping someone change a plug. He then said to the other female that he had seen her friends ages back.
The three of us continued on and at one point lost the trail. After turning the bikes around, figuring out where we were meant to go, we had a cruisey ride back. When we got back to the cars, the other female found her friends there - they'd gone past us where we'd gotten lost, hence the confusion & not seeing them again.
On the afternoon ride, we had been told there was an extra loop in it, if we were quick enough. I'd heard that & decided Henk would go mad at me if he missed that out, so I better get my A into G & be there in time. There was a creek crossing that a lot of people had problems with. You went down a steep bank, across the creek & there it turned into slippery clay, full of ruts. I'd got across the first time (morning), but thought we'd lose too much time if I took the bike across the 2nd time, so Henk could take it (I took photos).
We got to the loop in time & someone was sitting there & pointed up the hill, so off I went. Henk stopped to ask him what the story was & told that up the hill was the loop, through the gate was home. He then wondered if I knew what I'd just done. I recognised that we'd been through the terrain before & tried to think of what was coming up. I was pretty sure the creek crossing was in it, so wondered how I'd fare 3rd time round. Just as we were sitting at the top of the hill discussing what was possibly the best line, we saw a couple of other riders go another way. Okay, so that's the best line, I can do this. There was a step to the creek, where I promptly laid the bike down on my leg (it was still pretty upright as a groove had been cut into the bank). Henk lifted the bike off me (I was still on it as well as under it) and off I went. Once he saw I was up, he went to go, but in the meantime (unbeknown to me) another rider had come along & taken the same line - but muffed it totally, so Henk had to help him too. I sat at the top of the hill & waited. Finally we were on our way again.
At one point, I saw a couple of kids in a creek pushing a bike out, so yelled out to ask if they needed a hand. I then parked my bike, turned off my gas & went to help out. We got the bike up & a couple of marshalls had turned up, so we discussed as to how the bike got there. Finally got going again, then ran out of gas. Henk parked next to me to ask what the problem was & the marshalls pulled up behind him. I told him to move so they could get past, but they said they were sweep & had to wait for us. I started my bike again & off we all went.
With the sweep behind me, I got really nervous & would stuff things up I'd had no problem with in the morning. I was also getting tired as it was the most riding I've done in a long, long time. We made it back, no bikes broken, no bones broken, & feeling like I'd achieved something.
Last night, for the first time in a long time, I dreamt about going riding: "a friend had marked out a trail & so I'd followed it for the most part. I'd seen an older trail off to the side so went on that instead & found where it joined the new trail. When I asked him why he'd changed it, he told me it was because of the downhill. I asked him which downhill as hadn't really noticed any. He then explained that just because I'm okay with downhills, doesn't mean everyone is. I then realised how far my riding had come." I woke up thinking, hmmm, yeah, I am improving but more importantly, I'm having fun again.
Yes, I enjoy riding with other females, but the fact is I'd rather go riding & have fun. There will be times (many, no doubt), I ride alone, but I'll be riding more with Henk too. I've just got to figure out how to push myself when riding with him. I've set myself a goal, so hopefully that'll help. I've also figured out with my ear op I'll be missing out one ride - it's a quiet month - wahoooooo!!!!!
Anyway, I'm sure you gals have helped with the whole process. I know I've been quiet on the ride report front (thank goodness, I hear you say), but tough, I'm back. I honestly can't believe how long it's taken me, but I'm glad I listened to Henk & didn't sell the bike (don't tell him that). I'm also over the bike envy business, I love my KDX and am looking forward to having it lowered while I'm not riding. It's the odd time it'll make a difference, but it'll be great.
So thank you all, your support has been needed & gratefully accepted. I hope my story helps someone who is having motivation/inspiration problems - yes, there is light at the end of the tunnel, definitely it's worth carrying on to the end not turning back or giving up. If I can help anyone, feel free to email me.
Michelle
(the chatterbox is back hehehehehehe)
