Law Enforcement Humor

[KWJams]

TOP TEN SIGNS YOUR POLICE PARTNER NEEDS A VACATION:

1) He keeps handcuffing himself by accident.

2) He is starting to develop a crush on one of the
transvestite hookers he arrested.

3) He wants to transfer to a K-9 unit because he
thinks he'd look good in a collar.

4) He talks to himself. Half of him is the "good cop",
and the other half is the "bad cop."

5) He wants you to call him "Judge Dredd", and he
insists that all suspects should be executed right
there on the spot.

6) He keeps asking you if his bullet proof vest makes
him look fat.

7) He is exchanging donut recipes with complete
strangers.

8) The perpetrators beg him to stop talking about his
hemorrhoids.

9) Every Tuesday he insists it's his turn to be the
siren.

10) He wants to hear less talk and more music on the
police channel.

:)

 

[Senior KX Rider]

Originally posted by KWJams
TOP TEN SIGNS YOUR POLICE PARTNER NEEDS A VACATION:

.7) He is exchanging donut recipes with complete
strangers.

.
:)

:) :)

 

[txvintage]

11) He has become somewhat nationally known by his alter ego, which is patterned after his classic car with a 454 engine.

 

[gibbs_6]

lol.:)

 

[a454elk]

Hardy har har Mr. tx!!:)
Listen to this, I might need a vacation after doing this.
I've been paging a knucklehead about a stolen motorcycle. Well, he's got one of those voicemail ones that has his recorded message on it. The idiot makes his own rap music and recorded some on is stupid pager. I got tired of listening to it so when the message beeped for me to leave mine, I started to leave my own stuff. I made up a rap of my own about looking for him and when I catch him, he's going to the hoaky pokey! I also recorded some classical and disco stuff on it for him to enjoy! Funny, he hasn't returned my calls yet, wonder why?:think
Elk

 

[Ol'89r]

Ken. You forgot one. #11 They keep taking away his bullet.

Hey elk. I think you need a vacation.;)

Reminds me of a story I heard a few years ago. There was this guy that got a ticket for running a red light. It was one of those photo tickets where they take your picture and send you a ticket in the mail.

When he got the ticket, it included a photo of the front of his car, license plate and him driving. So, he sent a photo of a pile of money representing the fine that they wanted him to pay.

They sent back a photo of a pair of handcuffs and he paid the fine.:scream: :scream:

 

[a454elk]

Originally posted by Ol'89r
Hey elk. I think you need a vacation.;)

That's what I needed to hear, I'm outta here! Thanks 89r
Elk

 

[txvintage]

Just try'n to help a brutha out there Elk.

I can somehow sort of imagine an Elk original hip hop / rap tune. Maybe I need a vacation too................:D

 

[ktmboy]

Elk--the rappa---it sounds kinda kooky,

chasin' those bad guys on his 2-smoka Suzuki--


Yeh, I'm a bad rapper--so SUE ME!:p ::moon:

 

[a454elk]

Man Ktmboy, good thing you ride good cause you ain't no artist!:)
Elk