It’s almost Memorial Day weekend … and for all you wonderful folks who took advantage of our latest products: the Michigan Swamp Mower Snorkel Attachment and the Dirt Bike Water Wing … we’ve got another great offer to make any holiday rides you attempt through the wet Michigan countryside your absolute, hands-down, most memorable of all time!
Yup, this baby is our Corporation’s finest moment … the ultimate, wet-rider accessory … it’s the Michigan MotoProp and we’ve had our experts working day and night to design it just for you! Consider this … you’re blasting through your favorite swamp, then suddenly, up ahead, you spot a big one … I mean a HUGE one … this puddle is so large that it has docks installed on its shoreline … what do you do? Do you look for another route … naa, that’s being a dork … do you throttle back and stop … naa, that’s giving up … do you throttle up and increase your speed … yup, that’s what you’ll be doing if you adapt your ride with the MotoProp. Nobody wants to be a dork or give up on an obstacle when riding his big, nasty dirt bike … but most folks don’t want to drown either … that’s where the MotoProp comes in to help you save face and look really bad while do it!
I know, you’re sitting there reading this right now and thinking … how many times will I find a water hole this weekend that I can’t handle … well, just remember, this is Michigan and it has been raining for over two months … all the rivers are flooding … all the Great Lakes are six inches deeper than last year … all the clouds are dark and ominous … and the last two sunny days in a row happened sometime last year! Now, you should be ready … let’s get into the details of the MotoProp and why you’re gonna have to get one shipped to you overnight express.
The MotoProp is a product we obtained from top secret laboratories of the KGB before the collapse of the Soviet Union. It is a high tech, seven blade, inverse curvature, sound deadened [to meet the Michigan 94dB rule], ultra-light, ultra-strong, multifunctional propeller that can be mounted on the swingarm of any bike, any brand, any time with simple installation tools. This baby is driven by your chain with no loss of power … because of its top secret gear box, we’ve made sure the prop spins at three times the rate of your engine’s RPM … that means even on dry land you’re gonna feel the extra push … but when you hit the water, instead of sinking like a rock, you’re gonna plane like a speed boat … hey, anybody can do a wheelie on dry land … how many folks can do one in water that’s 27 feet deep? Only the dirt biker equipped with a MotoProp!
Now I know you’re starting to get interested … you’re thinking how fast could I go on water … how much is this thing gonna cost … is this thing gonna be safe … am I gonna kill myself or someone riding behind me? Don’t worry … we got you covered.
For $29.95 we will send you the complete MotoProp kit … it includes: zip-ties, duct tape, bailing wire, and super glue sufficient to install the unit on one bike. You’ll be up and running in a flash … just be sure to strap on a set of rubber fins in case one of those puddles winds up being so large you run out of fuel before completing the crossing … hurry, operators are standing by to take your order … and for the first 25 folks to send in their money [cash is preferred], we have a special, free offer just for you … it’s the ultimate tool for performing trail maintenance … it’s the MotoProp Brush Hog Attachment … it turns your means of water motivation into a turboprop, brush-bustin’, trail blaster that’ll certainly make other clean-up tools such as saws, axes, dynamite or bulldozers seem like antiques. Yup … you just turn your ride around, point the specially serrated blade of your MotoProp at whatever trail detritus is annoying you most … rev up the motor so it’s bouncing off the limiter … and begin pushing the bike backwards. You’ll be amazed … the MotoProp can turn everything from plants and shrubs to old tires and rusting automobile hulks into finely ground, environmentally safe, Prop Dust which just blows away in the Prop Wash … couldn’t be easier. Just think how much time you’ve wasted removing those trail stumps in the past … no more … not with a MotoProp … just back into a stump and disintegrate it into Prop Dust.*
[*The manufacturer makes no warrantee regarding the appropriateness of application for this device … while recognizing that dirt biking is a dangerous activity, modification of a dirt bike with a MotoProp is estimated to dramatically increase the number and severity of dangerous incidents occurring while riding … maneuvers such as endos are no longer embarrassing, they are typically lethal and occasionally, massively disfiguring … usually to the rider but often to innocent bystanders as well. The manufacturer recommends taking appropriate precautions but can make no suggestion as to what they might be.]
Hey folks, even if you don’t order now … have a great Holiday and Ride Safe !!!
terry nestrick :cool:
Yup, this baby is our Corporation’s finest moment … the ultimate, wet-rider accessory … it’s the Michigan MotoProp and we’ve had our experts working day and night to design it just for you! Consider this … you’re blasting through your favorite swamp, then suddenly, up ahead, you spot a big one … I mean a HUGE one … this puddle is so large that it has docks installed on its shoreline … what do you do? Do you look for another route … naa, that’s being a dork … do you throttle back and stop … naa, that’s giving up … do you throttle up and increase your speed … yup, that’s what you’ll be doing if you adapt your ride with the MotoProp. Nobody wants to be a dork or give up on an obstacle when riding his big, nasty dirt bike … but most folks don’t want to drown either … that’s where the MotoProp comes in to help you save face and look really bad while do it!
I know, you’re sitting there reading this right now and thinking … how many times will I find a water hole this weekend that I can’t handle … well, just remember, this is Michigan and it has been raining for over two months … all the rivers are flooding … all the Great Lakes are six inches deeper than last year … all the clouds are dark and ominous … and the last two sunny days in a row happened sometime last year! Now, you should be ready … let’s get into the details of the MotoProp and why you’re gonna have to get one shipped to you overnight express.
The MotoProp is a product we obtained from top secret laboratories of the KGB before the collapse of the Soviet Union. It is a high tech, seven blade, inverse curvature, sound deadened [to meet the Michigan 94dB rule], ultra-light, ultra-strong, multifunctional propeller that can be mounted on the swingarm of any bike, any brand, any time with simple installation tools. This baby is driven by your chain with no loss of power … because of its top secret gear box, we’ve made sure the prop spins at three times the rate of your engine’s RPM … that means even on dry land you’re gonna feel the extra push … but when you hit the water, instead of sinking like a rock, you’re gonna plane like a speed boat … hey, anybody can do a wheelie on dry land … how many folks can do one in water that’s 27 feet deep? Only the dirt biker equipped with a MotoProp!
Now I know you’re starting to get interested … you’re thinking how fast could I go on water … how much is this thing gonna cost … is this thing gonna be safe … am I gonna kill myself or someone riding behind me? Don’t worry … we got you covered.
For $29.95 we will send you the complete MotoProp kit … it includes: zip-ties, duct tape, bailing wire, and super glue sufficient to install the unit on one bike. You’ll be up and running in a flash … just be sure to strap on a set of rubber fins in case one of those puddles winds up being so large you run out of fuel before completing the crossing … hurry, operators are standing by to take your order … and for the first 25 folks to send in their money [cash is preferred], we have a special, free offer just for you … it’s the ultimate tool for performing trail maintenance … it’s the MotoProp Brush Hog Attachment … it turns your means of water motivation into a turboprop, brush-bustin’, trail blaster that’ll certainly make other clean-up tools such as saws, axes, dynamite or bulldozers seem like antiques. Yup … you just turn your ride around, point the specially serrated blade of your MotoProp at whatever trail detritus is annoying you most … rev up the motor so it’s bouncing off the limiter … and begin pushing the bike backwards. You’ll be amazed … the MotoProp can turn everything from plants and shrubs to old tires and rusting automobile hulks into finely ground, environmentally safe, Prop Dust which just blows away in the Prop Wash … couldn’t be easier. Just think how much time you’ve wasted removing those trail stumps in the past … no more … not with a MotoProp … just back into a stump and disintegrate it into Prop Dust.*
[*The manufacturer makes no warrantee regarding the appropriateness of application for this device … while recognizing that dirt biking is a dangerous activity, modification of a dirt bike with a MotoProp is estimated to dramatically increase the number and severity of dangerous incidents occurring while riding … maneuvers such as endos are no longer embarrassing, they are typically lethal and occasionally, massively disfiguring … usually to the rider but often to innocent bystanders as well. The manufacturer recommends taking appropriate precautions but can make no suggestion as to what they might be.]
Hey folks, even if you don’t order now … have a great Holiday and Ride Safe !!!
terry nestrick :cool:
