New Alcohol Warnings

wibby · Jul 14, 2003

ALCOHOL WARNINGS Due to increasing products liability litigation, American
liquor manufacturers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following
warning labels be placed immediately on all varieties of alcohol containers
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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell
happened to your bra and panties.

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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a
retard.

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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over
and over again that you love them.

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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.

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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers
are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.

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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically
converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting.

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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug
burns on the forehead, knees and lower back.

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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are
tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.

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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are
laughing WITH you.

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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.

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WERNIG: ther crumsumpten uv alkahol may Mack yu tink yu kin tipe reel
gude.

Green Horn · Jul 15, 2003

LOL other than the bra and panties part and the getting pregnant, I've been there and done all the rest of those. :thumb:

Jon K. · Jul 15, 2003

Originally posted by Green Horn
LOL other than the bra and panties part and the getting pregnant, I've been there and done all the rest of those. :thumb:

Ummm . . . Chris . . . . You might want to look at the "rug burn" thing one more time.

Treejumper · Jul 15, 2003

Maybe Chris' butt, forehead, knees and lowerback just itched while he was drunk. :)

Green Horn · Jul 16, 2003

Originally posted by Jon K.

Ummm . . . Chris . . . . You might want to look at the "rug burn" thing one more time.

I did! What?? Ok except for the forehead. You mean you never take 'er down on the floor? :laugh: I'd really love to explain in more detail as to why but.... Let's just say that beds are squishy and prohibit the really hard pounding. :yeehaw:

[Thread will be on lock-down in 3...2...1]

Jon K. · Jul 16, 2003

Originally posted by Green Horn

I did! What?? Ok except for the forehead.

Yep; it was the lower back and forehead that got me wondering! But then . . . you know . . . .consenting adults and all. . . . :laugh:

Gary B. · Jul 19, 2003

:laugh:

firecracker22 · Jul 20, 2003

Originally posted by Green Horn

I did! What?? Ok except for the forehead. You mean you never take 'er down on the floor? :laugh: I'd really love to explain in more detail as to why but.... Let's just say that beds are squishy and prohibit the really hard pounding. :yeehaw:

Have you no shame?

(That's ok, me neither.)

New Alcohol Warnings

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