Old Vet Humor - 107 Signs You're "Old-School" Motocross

srellis

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#1
Old Vet Humor - 107 Signs You're "Old-School" Motocross

1. You remember when they invented whoops.
2. You remember when the water-truck was a wooden cask hauled behind two musk oxen. Yes, oxen, dammit.
3. You've been thwacked by the surgical neoprene strand of a rubber-band start.
4. You well know the difference between a Combat Wombat, a Pursang and a Cappra.
5. You begged your dad to "forward-mount" your Elsinore's rear shocks.
6. Then you begged more for him to "lay 'em down".
7. You're familiar with Skunk Works and their whole get-up.
8. You badly desired a DG radial head for your RM-125.
9. You knew 'em as Pentons - before they were Katoomers.
10. You recall Team Tamm and L.O.P.
11. You idolized Marty Smith.
12. You knew Micky Dymond rode a Husky pretty damn well.
13. You were stunned when you heard Gerrit Wolsink became a dentist.
14. You never missed ABC's Wide World Of Sports in case they featured the USGP at Carlsbad.
15. You remember when hot-dogs were the only "health-food" available at the track
16. You dreamt of manhandling a Maico 501
17. You remember Jones goggles and Carrera's, too.
18. Ake Jonnson and Jack Van Velthoven are household names to you.
19. You've pulled serious dirt out of your nose two days after a National.
20. You've camped at both Mount Morris and Unadilla and lived to tell of it.
21. You wished you'd never bought those Scott plastic boots. But you did.
22. You've owned a duckbill visor or two.
23. You've worn football pads in a motocross race.
24. You've worn race-gloves with pieces of tires attached to the fingers.
25. You remember when box-vans were "factory".
26. You're making stupid-money selling your old motocross stuff as "vintage" on ****.
27. You used to think Heikki Mikkola was the baddest dude on the planet. In fact, part of you thinks he still is.
28. You've pulled the lights and blinkers off an enduro bike to race motocross.
29. You recall seeing Jim Gianatsis' name over every dirt-bike photo in the '70's.
30. Mr. Know-It-All both entertained you and pissed you off.
31. And you know who Lovely Louella is and where Chicken Licks Raceway isn't.
32. You once asked your dad if you could get a Bel-Ray tattoo.
33. Your mom ironed on a Champion spark-plug patch to your jean-jacket.
34. You've written letters to companies begging for stickers.
35. You were there when tear-offs were invented.
36. You fondly recall the Wrangler Dash For Cash in Supercross races.
37. You owned at least one "Do It In The Dirt" shirt.
38. You tear up while recalling the sound of the start of a 500 National.
39. You blasted your Zeppelin on 8-tracks on the way to the races.
40. In later years, you rode home listening to the Eagles on these revolutionary cassettes.
41. You witnessed a Supercross in Pittsburgh.
42. You saved up forever for that DG water-cooled head and front-plate radiator deal from DG.
43. You're familiar with the "Flying W", WFO and the GYDBT, amongst other terms.
44. You've purchased both Bassani and Hooker pipes for your Yamaha DT-250.
45. You installed a white fender-extender on your '76 YZ-125. Just because.
46. You used to think it nutty to pay a buck-twenny-five for race-gas.
47. You recall MXA magazine having a ROY (Rider Of The Year) that was awarded a truck.
48. You're familiar with front-falling gates, too.
49. And flag starts. Uh huh.
50. Some tracks even had traffic-light starts ! Whaaaaa ?
51. You recall the van craze and its link to mx.
52. Rex Staten always kind of scared you a bit.
53. You still think of Mike LaRocco as " that fast kid from Indiana."
54. You've ridden a bike or two up and into a pick-up truck bed.
55. You've also wadded it up performing this stunt.
56. You've raced the Open-Class. On a real Open-bike.
57. You remember the Harley-Davidson MX team.
58. You could never afford those FOX-Shox. But you desired them, badly.
59. You remember Bob Hannah's Open-Bike fan-club at Unadilla.
60. You remember an AMA National in St. Pete, Florida.
61. You thought the Husky chrome tanks were extremely sexy.
62. You were pretty sure the Hodaka transmissions were made of plastic.
63. You always knew that, by the'90's, Supercross would be live on TV on Saturday nights.
64. You used to bring your girlfriend and her dog to the races. That didn't last.
65. You recall Cycle News East & West versions. "We don't care how the hell they do it in California" - that was the East version's battlecry. Odd times, indeed.
66. You knew Can-Am's had rotary valves and no head gaskets.
67. You knew Ricky's boss had worked in the sport pretty seriously prior to getting into big-rig management.
68. You not only owned a 175, you actually raced the 175 class!
69. You still have your JOFA mouthpiece.
70. You called your pants "leathers" - even if they weren't.
71. You always wore a kidney-belt. You just did.
72. You've seen a Maico 490 Sand Spider shred the knobs off.
73. You knew who "Super Hunky" was.
74. You're familiar with terms like "Full-Floater", "Unitrak", "Monoshock" and groovy.
75. You remember the DATSUN USGP Of Motocross
76. Debruzer was some kind of handlebar pad endorsed by "De-MAN", right?
77. Tommy Benolkin's name rings a bell with you.
78. You actually attended the Kansas City Supercross.
79. You were there when Darrell Schultz won Daytona on his Chris Haines prepped CR250.
80. You knew Steve Wise was a motorcycling Mr. Do-It-All.
81. You loved watching Jimmy Ellis at the Atlanta Supercross By Wrangler on his Honda.
82. You liked those Dunlop K190's, you really did.
83. For many years it was only Metzelers for you though.
84. You did give Trelleborg's a brief try.
85. And Hi-Point's Red-Dot tires. (Hannah endorsed !)
86. You were at that 1982 Loretta Lynn's by Kawasaki. 25 classes total.
87. You've actually left a motocross race in a Ford Pinto towing a 3 rail Holsclaw trailer, by golly.
88. You've heard of both Bauers: Willi and Steve.
89. You had subscriptions to Modern Cycle & Popular Cycling.
90. You've heard the term "Maico-Breako" a time or two.
91. You would have given your left buttock for a pair of those "hi-zoot" Simons Upside-Down forks!
92. You've seen white KTM's with red-frames.
93. You actually owned a bike-cover for your machine at one point. No, really, you did.
94. You always wanted to put a 44mm Mikuni carburetor on something. Anything.
95. You knew Josh Hansen's dad raced a bit.
96. You bought a roost-boost bottle for your bike. Supposedly it straightened out the powerband or something.
97. You worked that Impact-driver like nobody's business. No Phillips-stripping for you, my brother.
98. The name Torsten Hallman was familiar to you, just like you knew well the Gunnar-Gasser throttle. Hell, everybody did.
99. You've broke more than one chain in a day. And you always carried extra master-links. You had to.
100. You knew, that if you only had five-bucks to get home on, you could get four burgers from Mickey-D's and five gallons of gas for your Econoline van. True.
101. Back then, a rhythm-section was a drummer and a bass player.
102. You wore your socks out and over your boots and your shoulder-pads under your shirt.
103. You thought Tortelli and Pastrana were things you found at an Italian deli.
104. Your buddy wore an "I'm with stupid" shirt.
105. You had, sporadically, one sleazy girlfriend that would wear that "Slave" T-shirt. That chick was fun.
106. You were introduced to Danny Laporte yet were too tongue-tied and mesmerized to speak.
107. You hazily recall there being a small bridge that the riders had to negotiate in the '70's at Unadilla
 
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#6
54. You've ridden a bike or two up and into a pick-up truck bed on a 2x6.
55. You've also wadded it up performing this stunt. :) :| 1984, the year Van Hallens JUMP record.
I'm not that dayum old! Am I? :pissed:
 
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#7
cavy986 said:
What happened to the ol' Rubber Band start,it drove you crazy I hated it.
A few months ago I was asked to help a neighboring track with their 1st MX race. I had never used a "rubberband" start but I knew our track had one in the storage building so I offered it up to the new guys since their starting gates were not yet in. With a staked T-post on one side it took me all of about 2 seconds to realize that this wasn't going to be good. As I went in search of another T-post my buddy figured he could operate the rubberband for the 1st start. As he squat down in a catchers position and stretched the rubberband tight (before I could make it back to warn him :nod: ) you guessed it, the rubber band snapped and he spoke with a slightly higher pitch the rest of the day. :laugh:
That was my experience with a rubberband start, I like a gate myself.
 
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#8
The hot setup on the surgical band start was to be as close to the starter as possible,just watch his hand and pin,fan,row.Now if by chance you got to the line late and got stuck on the farthest side away from the starter,that band took a long time to get down to you next to everybody else watching the starters hand and pinning,fanning and rowing.that would leave a mark.
 
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#9
cavy986 said:
What happened to the ol' Rubber Band start,it drove you crazy I hated it.
It never paid to be on the end! If you dumped the clutch when the band was released,it meant it would be around your neck! Damn,I think 7 of them I could not relate to! No word about Zelda? Monarch? Gas tank bubs? Vic? I could run my van on charcoal lighter fluid,more big macs! Pathetically I almost bought them stupid scott foot casts,tech 10's are close and bam,released them again,but better! The surge cannisters are still around,in other applications! Somewhere there is a cr-125 cylinder with the edges ground flat like pentons,and about 3 lbs of excess aluminum missing from the transfers and ports,and case matched! I got my hands on a 38 mik,then I put it on a,250,125 and even tried it on an 80! With no bottom or mid to worry about life was simple! Who still uses Bell helmets? And the best of all,2 strokes taking over american motocross!