One for the ladies ('specially you BBBOM)

[Rodzilla]

Our first Blonde GUY joke ... and well worth the wait!

An Irishman, a Mexican and a blonde guy were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building. They were eating lunch and the Irishman said, "Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch I'm going to jump off this building."

The Mexican opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "Burritos again! If I get burritos one more time I'm going to jump off, too."

The blond opened his lunch and said, "Bologna again. If I get a bologna sandwich one more time, I'm jumping too."

The next day the Irishman opened his lunch box, saw corned beef and cabbage and jumped to his death.

The Mexican opened his lunch, saw a burrito and jumped too.

The blonde guy opened his lunch, saw the bologna and jumped
to his death as well.

At the funeral the Irishman's wife was weeping. She said, "If I'd known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage, I never would have given it to him again!"

The Mexican's wife also wept and said, "I could have given
him tacos or enchiladas! I didn't realize he hated burritos so much."

Everyone turned and stared at the blonde's wife.

Are you ready for it....................

Its worth the wait ...........................

Here it comes ................................

"Hey, don't look at me," she said, "He makes his own lunch."


:)

 

[bbbom]

;) Good one Rod, none of the guys I work with would get it though cause they can't make their own lunch no matter WHAT!!!

You know why blonde jokes are so simple?






So MEN can understand em! :aj:

 

[whyzee]

Regis: "Pam, you're up to $500,000 with one lifeline left...phone a friend. The next question is worth one million dollars if you get it right. If you get it wrong, you drop back to $32,000. Are you ready?"

Pam: "Yes."

Regis: "Which of the following birds does not build it's own nest? Is it a) Robin, b) Sparrow, c) Cuckoo, d) Thrush."

Pam: "I think I know who it is...but I'm not 100%. I'd like to phone a friend. I'd like to call Carol."

Carol (also a blonde) answers the phone: "Hello..."

Regis: "Hello Carol, it's Regis Philbin from Who Wants to be a Millionaire. I have your friend Pam here who needs your help to answer the one million dollar question. The next voice you hear will be Pam's..."

Pam: "Carol, which of the following birds does not build it's own nest?
Is it a) Robin, b) Sparrow, c) Cuckoo, d) Thrush."

Carol: "Oh gee, Pam. That's simple...it's a Cuckoo."

Pam: "Are you sure?"

Carol: "I'm sure."

Regis: "Pam, you heard Carol. Do you keep the $500,000 or play for the million?"

Pam: "I want to play; I'll go with c) Cuckoo".

Regis: "Is that your final answer?"

Pam: "Yes."

Regis: "Are you confident?"

Pam: "Yes; I think Carol's pretty smart."

Regis: "You said c) Cuckoo...and you're right! Congratulations, you have just won ONE MILLION DOLLARS!"

To celebrate, Pam flies Carol to New York. That night they go out on the town. As they're sipping champagne, Pam looks at Carol and asks her, "Tell me, how did you know that it was the Cuckoo that does not build its own nest?"

"Pam, it was easy. Everybody knows that a Cuckoo lives in a clock."

 

[bbbom]

Okay, there was a blonde bowling team and a brunette bowling team that had won the league championship and runner's up. Because they had done so well, the two teams were invited to compete in a multileague tournament in the next state.

In order to save on travel costs, the teams decided to charter a double decker bus to the tournament. The Blondes took the upper section and the Brunettes took the lower section. The trip was underway and soon, the Brunettes were partying and having a grand ole time. Suddenly, the Brunette Captain noticed that the Blondes were very quiet so she went upstairs to take a look.

There they sat, frozen in fear. She looked around and asked "What is wrong, Blondes are supposed to have MORE fun and we're down there haveing a blast while you guys are up here scared to death?"

The Blonde Captain looked at her and exclaimed "Yeah but YOUR bus has a DRIVER!!!"

:eek:

 

[whyzee]

I must have a thousand of these, I'll stick to the clean ones.

The executive was interviewing a young blonde for a position in his company. He wanted to find out something about her personality so he asked,

"If you could have a conversation with someone, living or dead, who would it be?"

The blonde quickly responded, "The living one."

 

[MXN4FUN]

A blonde police woman comes home to find her husband and another woman. Distraught she pulls a gun from her holster and points it at her head. The husband yell's not to do it . She looks at him and say's "Shut up you're next!"

 

[RM_guy]

I love these threads...

but there're not quite up to my standards.

This one is though...:debil:

Sad news about beer.
You have to hope that this study is flawed, but the evidence seems irrefutable. Yesterday, scientists for Health Canada suggested that the results of a recent analysis revealed the presence of female hormones in beer, and suggested that men should take a look at their beer consumption. The theory is that drinking beer makes men turn into women. To test the theory, 100 men were each fed 6 pints of beer within a one-hour period. It was then observed that 100% of the men gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became overly emotional, couldn't drive, failed to think rationally, argued over nothing, had to sit down while urinating and refused to apologize when wrong.

 

[BunduBasher]

Did you hear the one about the blond rocket scientist .......... no ....... neither have I :debil:

Also the one about the blonde construction engineer ...... no ..... neither have I :p

:confused:

 

[firecracker22]

You're a brave man, Bundu.

 

[DirtFamily]

Man, Bundu

I think you're nuts!! :silly: ;)

Can't wait for the response from bbbom!!

Katie

 

[RM_guy]

Good work Bundu:) Now this ship is sailing in the right directrion:p

 

[Moteaux]

Originally posted by RM_guy
Good work Bundu:) Now this ship is sailing in the right directrion:p

That's 'cuz a blonde is not at the helm!

DDDUUUUUCKKK!:debil:

 

[whyzee]

A blind man and his guide dog enter a bar and find their way to a barstool.
After ordering a drink and sitting there for a while, the blind guy yells to the bartender, "Hey, you want to hear a blonde joke?”
The bar immediately becomes absolutely quiet.
In a husky, deep voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something. The bartender is blonde, the bouncer is blonde and I'm a 6' tall, 200 lb. blonde with a black belt in karate. What's more, the woman sitting next to me is blonde and she's a weight lifter. The lady to your right is a blonde, and she's a pro wrestler.
Think about it seriously, Mister. You still want to tell that joke?”
The blind guy thinks a moment and says, "Nah, not if I'm going to have to explain it five times.":p

 

[99CR125OK]

Ok, I'm usually smart enough to stay away from threads like these, but I've got a good one so here goes.

A blonde returns home to find her home burglarized and in shambles, she immeiately phones the police. The police dispatch the nearest unit, which happens to be a K-9 unit, to the blondes house. As the police officer and his dog are walking up to her door she takes one look at them and begins sobbing uncontrollably.
The officer tries to say something comforting, "Ma'am, we'll take care of this, everthing will be OK"
The blonde replies, "Oh, everythings going to be OK? My house gets robbed, everything I own is either scattered about my house or missing, and to top it all off they send me a blind policeman!":)