Sayings ... got any?

[Tony Eeds]

People who live in glass houses should make love in the basement.

Never read the fine print. There ain't no way you're going to like it.

If you let a smile be your umbrella, then most likely your butt will get soaking wet.

The only two things we do with greater frequency in middle age are urinate and attend funerals.

The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket.

To err is human, to forgive - highly unlikely.

Do you realize that in about 40 years, we'll have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos?

Money can't buy happiness -- but somehow it's more comfortable to cry in a Porsche than in a Hyundai.

Living in a nudist colony takes all the fun out of Halloween.

After a certain age, if you don't wake up aching in every joint, you are probably dead.

 

[cr250can]

atvs are for old people and women.

when in doubt give it more gas.

 

[Joe Diver]

If a man speaks in the forest and his wife can't hear him, is he still wrong?

 

[XRpredator]

you go a long ways before you don't get nowhere

 

[Detonator]

He who hesitates...is hesitant.

I think. Probably. Maybe.

 

[BEEF706]

Whenever one of the kids says "that's not fair" I say ":The fair was in September" :ahhh:

 

[Papakeith]

Ones I never quite got:

From Grandpa, "You're worse than a sore ass at fly time"


From Dad, "You bet your bippy"

 

[Okiewan]

One of my favs:

 

[Smit-Dog]

Man who walk around with hand in pocket feel cocky all day...

You don't get what you deserve, you get what you negotiate.

If you don't ask, the answer is No.

It will only seem kinky the first time...

 

[tyesai]

2.....3......12, it's all the same.

quit fagging it up

I wouldn't trade my wife for the best calf in the barn

 

[truespode]

Sayin?

Nambe?

 

[XR3J]

It takes a big dog to weigh a ton. :coocoo:

 

[SpeedyManiac]

It's better to be a RACER for a moment than a SPECTATOR for life.

 

[Grady]

A wise monkey never monkeys around with another monkey's monkey.

 

[STlNKY]

"You're all a bunch of tighty wearing pansy homos."

-Some Dork, DRN 2002-

 

[mx547]

Don't name a pig you plan to eat.

Country fences need to be horse high, pig tight, and bull strong.

Life is not about how fast you run, or how high you climb, but how well you
bounce.

Keep skunks and bankers at a distance.

Life is simpler when you plow around the stumps.

A bumble bee is faster than a John Deere tractor.

Trouble with a milk cow is she won't stay milked.

Don't skinny dip with snapping turtles.

Words that soak into your ears are whispered,
not yelled.

Meanness don't happen overnight.

To know how country folks are doing, look at their barns, not their houses.

Never lay an angry hand on a kid or an animal,
it just ain't helpful.

Teachers, bankers, and hoot owls sleep with one eye open.

Forgive your enemies. It messes with their heads.

Don't sell your mule to buy a plow.

Two can live as cheap as one if one don't eat.

Don't corner something meaner than you.

You can catch more flies with honey than vinegar, assuming you want to catch
flies.

Man is the only critter who feels the need to label things as flowers or
weeds.

It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge.

Don't go huntin' with a fellow named
Chug-A-Lug.

You can't unsay a cruel thing.

Every path has some puddles.

When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.

The best sermons are lived, not preached.

Most of the stuff people worry about
never happens.

 

[Kav]

my only one is that "I am not a Ninja"

 

[ScottS]

An escalator can never break. It can only become stairs.

 

[Reesknight]

Watch who you step on, on the way up the ladder. You will meet them again on the way down.

 

[Okiewan]

Life is not about how fast you run, or how high you climb, but how well you
bounce.

Dig that.

 

[ellandoh]

1.}its not the size of the dog in the fight .........its the size of the fight in the dog

2.}the fight is not always won by the strongest....the race is not always won by the fastest......but thats the way to bet

 

[gwcrim]

When a man with money meets a man with experience, the man with the experience gets the money and the man with the money gets the experience.

If a man has enough money to buy his way out of a problem, he doesn't have a problem.

Whenever one of the kids says "that's not fair" I say...

Life's not fair.

 

[Tony Eeds]

Count down...........................

12. Life is sexually transmitted.

11. Good Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

10. Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich! :nod:

9. Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.

8. Some people are like Slinkies......not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.

7. Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

6. Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

5. All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

4. Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?

3. In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

2. Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.

and the #1 thought for 2005 ...

May you always have Love to Share, Health to Spare, and Friends that Care!

 

[cr250can]

my favorite as a technician : righty tighty lefty loosy :| -you would think that after turning wrenches so long I would learn.

how many engineers does it take to screw in a light bulb... no one knows, cuase they always have technicians to do it right for them.

from my grandpa " I once knew a guy that had a thought, he thought he had to fart and he pooped his pants. so careful what you think."

global warming? I call it the canadian relocation plan.

 

[theturbojosh]

creamer? sugar? you sissy that crap is for europeans and women! real men drink their coffee black---Dad