step parents beware!!!

[tx246]

i am a stepdad that has such great stepkids that ive never had the urge to see my genes in the flesh. i have been in these kids lives 90% of their lives. heck, the only thing i didnt do was sign their birth certificates. they are MY kids for cryin out loud.

this afternoon im watching the tube when my stepson invites another kid over. miniutes later, the other kid bursts in the door yelling at me that stephen is hurt bad. i leap from the couch and run outside. there he is lying at the end of the driveway. as i run up to him i see that he is moving around a little. from the scene i could tell they were on their manual scooters. stephen is dazed and i quickly send the other kid home. apparently, stephen did a face plant and landed on the scooter. there is a very nasty puncture wound right by his temple. surprisingly there is very little blood despite the huge gash. i get him up and get him in the truck. i go grab his insurance card and we head to the emergency room. stephen is tough and only starts to cry because he knew he wasnt to be scootering on the neighboors dirveway and he didnt have his helmet on. goofy thing is when he is skateboarding he always wears the helmet without being told. not so with the scooter. ive grounded him twice catching him riding the thing without a helmet.

we get to the emergency room and lo and behold im told they cant administer any treatment without his mother present. mom is playing a soccer game out of town i explain. sorry says the lady. we cant do anything unless we have permission from her. she also asked if their was a grandmother around. i reply my mom is. sorry again says the lady. it has to be blood. this freaking sets me off. i tell her what i think and leave.

this is so ridiculous. ive been stepdad for 9yrs and getting a release from my wife to treat the kids has never crossed my mind. maybe im just stupid. i cringe at the out of state trips i have made with my son on motorcycles. i always took his insurance card with us thinking thats all i would need. right now im pretty upset with the "system". bottom line is my kid had to sit around for three hours extra needlessly with a hole in his head that ultimately required 15 stitches and me worrying about a concussion or worse. i only imagine what would of happened if i was in another state and he broke his arm.

legally i can clothe him, give him food, love him but i cant make a basic decision that affects his health. WTH. there is something very wrong with that. thanks to all of the lawyers and plaintiffs that have made this possible. :|

if you are a stepparent and you take your kids riding figure on getting some sort of release and keep it with the insurance card so this wont happen to you.

 

[Michelle]

As you say WTH? Actually, I'd say WTF.
That is soooooooo wrong. I've read a previous thread (must be a year or so ago) about people taking away someone else's child for a weekend's riding & getting a note to say that if the child needed medical assistance the temporary guardian had permission to obtain it. That I thought was mad enough.

Would it have been any different if the situation had've been life threatening? Makes you wonder. I'm glad your son's okay & I'm sure he'll wear his helmet next time (pity he learnt the hard way why these things are necessary).

That has to be the biggest load of bull**** I've heard in a long time (if ever). No disrespect to you - how the law can allow such a thing is beyond me. I'm sure your wife was absolutely stunned by that too. Like, how dare she go away to have some fun & leave the kids with their dad. Bollocks to the health system. I guess the one good thing to come out of this is the fact that it wasn't more serious & now you're aware of a potential problem & can tell others about it.
Michelle

 

[Danman]

That seriously blows. I can only imagine how mad you were.

One of the older guys in our club is a grandfather. He takes his grandson riding all the time (which I think is very cool). He also takes him racing to the mini-enduros and MX tracks around. I have seen what they call his "note". Its a signed note from his parents giving his the authority to make medical decisions about his well being. You might contact a couple of hospitals or you insurance company to find out if that will realy work or not. It might be a good idea to type the statement giving you the "power" and have it signed by his you, his mother and then notorized. Its possible that he has run into the same problem as you and he his the kids grampa!

 

[limitless]

That suck man, I feel for ya. Also, I want to point out that had it been life threatining or even a broken arm that any and every hospital is required to treat the patient weather they have an insurance card or they don't have insurance period. Though that is a good thing, there are still some little "quarks"! They should have treated him no matter what, but no, they want to make sure they're going to get thier money. It's total BS!!!

I'm glad to hear he was okay.

 

[Jaybird]

You can thank trial lawyers, but don't forget to thank the health care insurance companies.

My wife and I are in the same situation as you, tx246. I have had custody of my two girls since my divorce in 88. My current wife has her two boys and I have been the one who has raised them all.

What you need are "power of attorney" papers drawn up by a lawyer. It is a legally binding document that gives you the right to legally sign for anything your wife can sign for. It may cost a couple hundred bucks to get it done, but in your situation it is invaluable.
Don't rely on a handwritten "note"...that won't cut it.

 

[MikeT]

Wait a second..... You married his Mom, you've been there for 9 years....... I guess there is some sort of paper the bio father needed to sign to give you full parental rights...... Is that what was lacking in this whole situation?

This has to be fixed so you don't have to go through it again the next time. Do you all have the same last names? That might have been the start of the problem.....?

 

[GETMETOCA]

That whole situation sucks big time. I get so mad whenever I have to deal with my insurance or just to get apointments, etc. Your situation is much more blood pressure raising than mine, but whenever I get sick I have to "call on friday's" to make appointments". And then it takes two more weeks to get in to see the doc.

Currently, I am on the search for a local walk-in medical clinic that I am willing to pay $90 vs the $10 co-pay for those ear-nose-throat sinus infections that can't wait til Friday to make the appointment.

So how's Stephen doing? 15 stitches is a big deal, and I can just imagine you checking on him every two minutes til you could get him in for treatment. This whole topic just makes my blood boil.

Medical Schmedical! AAARRRRGG!!!!

 

[gwcrim]

I guess I'm fortunate. My 6 yr. old's father is in TX, a thousand miles away. He's never been part of Jesse's life. So I adopted him. We now have two other kids and I couldn't imagine making Jesse go through his early years w/a different last name than the rest of us.

Is that an option in your case? You're raising them, why not give them your name.

 

[weimedog]

You might want to check a little more. I'm a step dad as well and on the insurance info I have a listing of those covered which include my three and my wifes three. I am also a legal guardian of these kids and haven't had and trouble yet getting through ER red tape both here ni NYS and in Colorado. So far the active hobbies had generated enought trips to the ER to TEST the insurance for both my own (A broken foot, broken hand in five places, and broken collar bone), and my step kids ( Broken leg twice, stepped on a nail, and really bad flu). Also I spent time to introduce our family to the High School and haven't had any issues there either. Is this a State thing or and insurace issue? Whatever, so far I have had no real issues getting medical attention for my step kids yet......of course there is always a first time!

 

[KenR]

I'm really curious if this was an insurance thing or legal thing. We frequently will take freinds of my kids with their dirt bikes riding. We usually have their insurance cards with us, but it never occurred to me until now that we couldn't get treatment without the parents consent. This is worth checking into.

As was previously mentioned, if you present at an ER, they'd surely be required to treat, right?

 

[wayneg]

What ever happened to common sense? Would they let someone die in the case of an extreme emergency? Or just suffer in pain for several hours before they were treated? What about medical conditions that really get worse after a period of time? Some forms of concussion have a delay before the patient suddenly collapses in a heap

Over here in silly little NZ if someone is hurt then they get medical attention, and it doesn't matter who they are or where they've come from. All the paper work is sorted out after the patient (and you have to be patient with our hospital system) is examined and stitched, plastered or whatever.

It sounds like someone without the correct forms needs to sue a hospital for 'emotional distress' in one of these situations to get a change in policy. Surely the doctors are breaking their own oath to help people if they wait until the correct forms are filled in.

 

[dirtybkr]

Here in NY minors and unconcious (sp) patients are protected by " Implied concent " If a legal gardian is not present or a patient is unable to OK medical attention , EMS are allowed to provide treatment as needed . They can also transport to the ER where treatment will continue while atempts to contact a gardian will be made . I wonder if calling 911 would have made a differancs in your case .

It was a good call in bringing it up here . Everybody who rides with minors should look into the law of the land .

 

[txvintage]

This is strange. It may well have been an issue with a new employee who is not completely aware of how "Step Parenting" is viewed legally.

My understanding, as well as experience, is that if you can claim them as a dependant, which you do for at lweast insurance purpose aand probably tax puposes as well, you are a defacto Legal Guardian. Perhaps one of our DRN lawyer types will offer insight. I can't imagine that this is something left to each state to rule on individually for the before mentioned safety reasons.

I too am a step parent and live only about an hour from tx246. I have taken both of the kids to the doctor and the emergency room and never had a problem.

My wife is on staff at Medical Center Plano. She is going to check on this tomorrow with the admisssions and ER folks. I'll report back what she finds.

I'm glad he is OK.

 

[BSWIFT]

This just bites!  Gene raise some ever lovin' #*(&!  Hope Stephen's doing better.  You showed your unconditional love and that will not be changed by a piece of paper.  Kudos to you my friend.

 

[Hucker]

I really feel sorry for you yanks and that healthcare system of yours. All you do here is walk in, give them your health card and thats about it. Don't pay a cent. And they won't refuse treatment if you don't have a card either. I can't imagine dealing with health insurance companies and HMO's and all that other stuff I hear about. I even have out of country insurance(Green Shield) for when I ride and snowboard in the states. tx246 I'm glad your son finally got treatment, but I feel sorry for the kid cause he had to wait 3 god damn hours.. All this by the book policy crap doesn't do anyone good, only the insurance companies...

 

[justql]

Any one that has ever seeen Gene with the kids knows how big of an injustice this is. Get some legal documentation so you are prepared next time. Check with the schools as well. They might very likely have strange policies concerning this. Make sure you are listed as a contact for them.

 

[Nevada Sixx]

i hope you can sue the hospital for something,, maybe failure to respond or that implied consent thing, you were his legal guardian..
i'd sure talk to a lawyer about it.

 

[tx246]

first of all, thanks for all of the support. as far as adoption, thats out the kids father is around and does make the effort to be in their lives which is fine with me. kids cant have to many people loving them and giving them direction. some have suggested that if mom had my last name. that wont work either because she feels that it is more comfortable for the kids to have her with their name. as far as insurance goes we both work for the same company and it is cheaper for her to carry the kids and me to have my own policy.

sounds like the power of attorney is the way to go. i felt so helpless yesterday. ignorance of the law can bite you even if it isnt fair. my fault for not knowing any better. i just hope others can avoid my mistake. i just felt bad because he had to wait for so long before treatment. i went to another er when mom got home and the doctor there raised his eyebrow when we told him it happened at 12:30 and he was just getting in to see a doctor at 5:00. i told him what happened at the other hospital and he was just shook his head.

 

[MikeT]

Originally posted by Hucker
god damn hours..

Watch it Hucker......

 

[Jaybird]

I'm fairly certain that there are laws concerning emergency room visits and life threatening injuries in every state.
I agree that this was a bad scene, but you also have to look at it from the hospital's eyes. What if you were simply someone harboring a kidnapped child? They have no idea without proper documentation, and perhaps they didn't delay you for this purpose, but I can see questions arrising when you have a differnet name.
I would absolutely take Justin's advise and check to see what sort of policy the school has for such an instance.
I know many here, as well as you, are probably boiling over this matter, but thank God your son is fine and remember that the suits others have filed in the past are partly to blame for the problems that exist.
The way I see it, unless you absolutely deserve compensation, it would be better to put energy towords policy change with legislators rather than to sue.

 

[tx246]

jaybird,
i dont want to add to the idiocracy of our legal system. my kid was wronged. he suffered because i was ignorant of the law. the law doesnt resemble anything like common sense. that is a shame and like i said earlier, thanks to all of the lawyers and plaintifs that made this episode possible. as far as school goes i am listed as a "person with authority". this happens when you register your kid. i dont want "compensation". you cant put a dollar value on what happened. i was helpless because i couldnt get my kid treatment because of a piece of paper. no doubt about the injury. kid is standing there bleeding and dazed. its pretty freaking obvious that he needs immediate attention. i have id. i have his insurance card. he calls me dad. i have all of his prescriptions in my hand. his insurance card has the same policy that mine has just a different account. i understand the hospitals CYA attitude. its not like i said hey lets run down and get a nose job or some other type of "selective" surgery. he had a serious gash in the side of his head. what i want to know is what would happen if you happen across some kids you dont know at the park and something like that happened right in front of you? stupid me i would haul em into an er and get into some real trouble.

 

[Philip]

tx246 first of all let me say I'm glad it was not a more serious accident. It sounds bad enough and I can only imagine the hell you went through for those hours. Wish Stephen well for all of us here. If it is any comfort you have opened my eyes my friend. Although I do not make it a habit I have taken other kids riding with us and I have never thought about medical attention. I have changed my view of this as well as the conditions needed for them to come along. It is a shame that doctors take an oath to treat and help anyone in need yet the law and insurance dictates how that help can be administered.
:| :| AAAAAAARG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :flame: :flame: