The garage is supposed to be mine!

a454elk

Mexicutioner
LIFETIME SPONSOR
Jun 5, 2001
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OK, I had to flame this. Let me see a show of hands,,,who thinks their garage is actually theirs, and not the wife's!? Here's the deal. She said that she will decorate the house how she wants and the garage is mine! Wow, what a deal, I think I just got juked! So this is what I did. I set up the stereo system out there, the Dish TV, the microwave, the pancake griddle, the fryer and the El Camino. Sounds great right? WRONG!

She said that she still has a space for her car in there. But I can't leave my stuff on the counters in the kitchen. What's wrong with this picture? It gets worse. When she doesn't want something in the house, guess where it goes. Right, IN THE GARAGE! And the hits keep on coming. Now, she traded in her car and got a burb, well it doesn't fit in the garage. Guess what, she says that space is STILL hers! She stores crap right in the middle of where her car is supposed to go. Am I off base here or do I have a legitimate flame? Need your help, guys only. Unless the women want to back me!:):)

I had to mark off the garage with caution tape so she wouldn't venture into my area! It worked for a while until she said she was with the Press and was allowed by law to go in. What a bunch of poop! She said my garage looks like poop and I need to clean it up. I sweep the floors daily so she won't track anything into her house. I think I'm gonna lock the garage door so she has to use the front door. That's an idea, then she won't comment about my kingdom anymore.

I feel much better now, thanks. I have to go so I can clean HER area too!

Garaged Elk in Anaheim
 

RM_guy

Moderator
Damn Yankees
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Nov 21, 2000
7,046
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North East USA
Boy, I could have posted the exact same thing:scream:
 

JWW

LIFETIME SPONSOR
Apr 13, 2000
2,527
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I am in the same boat.

Try leaving grease on the floor. She will either leave the area or clean it up.
 

XRpredator

AssClown SuperPowers
Damn Yankees
Aug 2, 2000
13,504
19
My little buttercup decided that she needs to store the table she just bought for refinishing in the garage as well. Already there's a pile of crap she's going to sell at an as yet to be scheduled yard sale. Consequently, there's no room for me to do much of anything in there.

At least she doesn't want to do something really silly like park her rig in there! :confused:
 

Patman

Pantless Wonder
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Dec 26, 1999
19,765
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Ah, a common problem. You have to live with the pink lace curtians in the house and still can't put the "wallpaper" you want in YOUR space. Yes it seems to be a common delema for many of our kind. I also was once a part of your group and it was very frustratiing, "But this is supposed to be MY space!" is a common complaint. I think I may have somewhat resolved this issue to my satisfaction until I can create my EMPIRE in a year or so. My new house has a designated "shop" attached to the garage area. Since the garage area always seems to be a DMZ this specific area I have created is my personal fort. Air compresser, big rolling tool box, high shelves for bike gear and car parts, cupboards that contain nothing but potions and scents never allowed in the pink lace zone, and a specific notched area for "The Bench" which will soon start construction (I was a pal and gave my old version to Greenhorn). Yes my kindred spirits there seems to be little choice but to create your own personal bunker and appoint it as you see fit and be prepared to hold your ground. I have noticed though that a few stray vegitables and juice boxes have taken position in MY 'fridge so I am hopeful that no cross contamination of my supplies will occur or I may be forced to extricate them for good. Keep your heads up my brothers (and little sisters) for there is a light at the end of this dark tunnel it just might require 30 years of pain and suffering to achieve it.
 

TexKDX

~SPONSOR~
Aug 8, 1999
747
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Mrs. Tex did not get it either.

Let's see - in the house I have 1/3 the bed, a few drawers in a dresser, part of a closet, a slot for my toothbrush, and about 2 feet on the couch. The rest is hers and the 3 cats.

Then, our front porch began meowing. Under it goes Mrs Tex and out comes her with 4 kittens. A live trap catches White Momma, and in a few hours I have 5 cats in my workshop.... :mad:

Next thing I know the WHOLE SHOP is covered in litter dust from this ferile Momma's constant activity trying to get out. Not to mention the flung litter, food, and water. :scream:

We place the 4 kittens eventually but Momma gets loose before we get her fixed, so 4 months later REPEAT THE ABOVE with 3 new kittens...
:mad:

Momma gets loose in the shop this time. Did you know cats with claws can climb up drywall just like they can a tree? Nice marks as she ricocheted around the wall/ceiling junction knocking stuff off all the shelves.

THE SHOP IS MINE!!!!!!!!
 

bsmith

Wise master of the mistic
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Jun 28, 2001
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Guy's this requires a stealthy upgrade;)
The CFO always wants to improve upon the fortress, the best way for this is a new homestead! The key to this new site is an unfinished basement! The forementioned CFO will do whatever it takes to stay within the walls of the (her) castle, thus the Garage becomes yours.

Now who has kids?:think , This takes it to the next level, Barbie jeep, swimming pool, Tonka toys. Once again you start losing ground.

The next step is the Patman Shop. This is the hardest upgrade since the CFO see's no return on investment.
Those that get this elusive item I must commend your efforts in your corporate negotiation skills.
:D
 

Offroadr

Ready to bang some trees!
Jan 4, 2000
5,227
25
May I recommend another UNATTACHED garage. Then the domains can be split. Also say NO to the intercom system by which you can be paged at a moments notice. :D

Or you could just start putting bike parts in the kitchen since you have no garage room! :eek:
 

Ol'89r

LIFETIME SPONSOR
Jan 27, 2000
6,958
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elkster. As much as I hate to agree with you,;) I'm gonna have to raise my hand on this one.

I had to build a whole stinkin house to get around the problem. When I first designed my house, I had a pretty big garage planned. In fact, it looked like a garage with an attached house.:scream: At least thats what Mrs. Ol'89r called it.

She complained that she couldn't park her car in the garage in our old house, so, I should provide a spot in the new garage for her car. Go figure!!

Had to tone down the size of the garage a little to get it to match the house and she still doesn't get to park her car in there. But, I did buy her a car cover. The downside to that is she makes me uncover and cover her car.:(

Ok, bbbom, you can call the Wawawawawawambulance now.
 

KiwiBird

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Jan 30, 2000
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I feel your pain Elk, personally I feel the best thing is to make the journey to your retreat a difficult, unpleasant and dirty trip. A constant source of smelly odours placed close to the entrance and light switches placed just above her reach, surrounded by cobwebs is a fine deterrent.

Remove/disable any mechanical door openers and place piles of delicately balanced hubcaps in places where they can be easily overturned.
 

Patman

Pantless Wonder
LIFETIME SPONSOR
Dec 26, 1999
19,765
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Almost forgot! Have you ever noticed the multifunctionality of many common household items? Those metal stick things that the cook puts meat and veggies on for YOU to place over the open flame exterior cooking appliance sure make good hole punchers and if you bend a little hook... well there's multiple uses for them things, I now have a complete set! Toothbrushes are another useful tool found inside the walls of most lace and pink zones. Those little makeup brushes sure come in handy for glue or paint application. Yes there is a multitude of useful items you can find within the heated and cooled walls of the queens palace just don't get caught.:p
 

zilla

Member
Nov 4, 2001
217
0
After 33 years married to same junk collector, I have it figured out.. My lady saves everything. And I mean everything. She still has a set of encyclopedia's from 1962 or so , that she swears one of the kids will want some day.. This is how I solve the problem.. When she's out of town (like now) I back the truck into the garage and start loading up.. I prioritize by seniority and how visible the item is.. Then in the truck it goes and off to the dump.. Then when she finally looks for the item (think in terms of years) I play dumb. The encylopedia's are going tommorrow.. She also has abijillion christmas ornaments (saved for the kidz ofcourse) and two fake trees out there.. Then there is all the junk the kidz left when they went off on their own.. GAARgh.. it never ends.. I even bought one of those yard barns to put junk in. Furthermore she is constantly moving my junk that is in the house to new locations so I can't ever find it.. I like my stuff in the same exact place so I can find it!.. It's a conspiracy!

zilla... locked and loaded
 

Ol'89r

LIFETIME SPONSOR
Jan 27, 2000
6,958
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Oh, Pantless person. You are so correct. The units that they call the oven and freezer are good appliances also. The freezer thingy is good for chilling engine bearings before installing them in your cases. And, the oven works good for heating cases and cylinders for installation of bearings and sleeves.

Also, those little bottle brush thingys work great on spokes.

When the little woman asks, why do the chocolate chip cookies taste like oil? Just look at her with a puzzled look on your face and say, "how the heck do I know, you baked them.":debil:

Works for me, BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
 
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KTM Mike

~SPONSOR~
Mi. Trail Riders
Apr 9, 2001
2,086
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Pity Party?

Not to rain on the Pity Party goin on here...I guess I am rather lucky...

Lets see... a 24X40 garage with 4 motorcycles and 2 four wheelers, my Kubota tractor, the table saw, miter saw etc... heated, insulated etc. 20 feet of work bench - with upper and lower cabinets..get this which are the ones removed from her kitchen during a remodel...And part of the time...yep I tolerate a cage (car) in the garage about 50% of the time...but it is mine...hers stays outside. For those times when the wife wants to "visit" I even have a special comfy chair there for her to sit in while I do some wrenchin! I do allow the freezer to occupy a few square feet of floor...but that is where that great steak she is cookin on the grill came from...

And ... an attached garage will eventually go up ... room for her car and mine, and a spot for the street bike. Damn...I am lucky I guess... best of all - she's even good lookin, and does all the cookin :cool:

All is not lost guys... Be careful on how you wage this battle. My best weapon? My garage is my "therapy room" keeps me happy(er) - keeps the wife and kids happy...the whole family benefits. How could any wife not agree with that argument?
 

atc3434`

~SPONSOR~
Nov 1, 2001
579
0
She parks her junk in the garage, do your next topend on the kitchen table! :p

The cats are a pain too, my neighbor has a small society of them, probably about 20. But I've scared most of them off, I went down to Walmarts and bought one of those cool little CO2 pistols. Little sucker packs a pretty good wallop, and with 15 semiauto shots, you can afford to miss the first time, which I always seem to do!
 

needsprayer

Member
Oct 24, 2001
106
0
Rats, snakes or other choice pets

Buy one or all of them and keep them in the garage. Maybe one escapes and you get your space back.
 

Okiewan

Admin
Dec 31, 1969
29,550
2,238
Texas
but that is where that great steak she is cookin’ on the grill came from
NO!!! SAY IT AINT SO!! Females are not, under any circumstance permitted to touch the grill. Just as taking out the trash is a "man's job", so is the grilling ritual (which of course includes a beer. Or 4). Yes, I try my best to be a new age man, but there are some things that I just can't change. I remember my grandfather telling me when I was a little boy, as we stood by the mighty custom made, home-built barbeque pit; "someday, you'll be in charge of the flame. Never, ever, relinquish your duty to protect the sanctity of the male/grill bond."
 

a454elk

Mexicutioner
LIFETIME SPONSOR
Jun 5, 2001
7,529
18
AH, I am not alone in my personal hell! I have to admit, the dirty light switches and door knobs deter her somewhat. A loose snake in the garage would rectify the situation though. Maybe just a recording of a rattler would do. I forgot to add the fridge that's out there. She does pull a dirty trick though and pops the breaker, things aren't quite as cold as I would like, go figure. Shouldn't have shown her the fuse panel. These things do backfire on you!!

Now, on to the closet. I USED to have quite a nice space for my 3 shirts I hang up and the one pair of pants. The key word is USED to. Is she an alien or something, she saves every box for her stupid shoes! Goodnight! What the heck is up with that? I told her to cut holes on the ends so she can see them all and she replies back that she knows every box and where she bought it. Give me a break! I've got 2 pairs of boots and a pair of them there sneaker thingys. That's it. I can match anything I wear with that assortment. She says we need a bigger closet, I say she nees to dump the junk. And the war wages on, life in the trenches of marriage. I think I need to call in air support!

Don't start me on the furniture issue and those stupid pictures! I've got the flying angels with the fig leaves all over the friggin house. I feel like I woke up in Rome for craps sake. I'm Italian but come on already. "Honey, how do you like this frame?" WHO CARES, does it hold the picture off the floor?! "Honey, how do you like these plates?" Who gives a rats butt, I've got so much food on the plate I don't even see the pattern.

Elk, when she lets me
 

a454elk

Mexicutioner
LIFETIME SPONSOR
Jun 5, 2001
7,529
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That rusty, corroded, sticky, beautiful grill is mine, all mine. That's my satellite domain office out back!
Elk
 

XRpredator

AssClown SuperPowers
Damn Yankees
Aug 2, 2000
13,504
19
Originally posted by Okiewan
"someday, you'll be in charge of the flame. Never, ever, relinquish your duty to protect the sanctity of the male/grill bond."
I couldn't agree more!

Unk! Fire good! Magic boxes bad! Woman stay in kitchen, away from fire! ;)

And don't be cookin' no nancy-foods like chicken or fish on that grill! Steaks and burgers only! :p
 

zilla

Member
Nov 4, 2001
217
0
aaah yes, The infamous box collection. I had almost forgot that one.. They always seem to find a home piled on my bike. My wife not only has the shoe thing goin on, but is also the Imelda Marcos of bedroom slippers At least while the lil lady is travlin I can eat on the cheap.. Lessee hotdawgs and toast, hotdwags n chili, and for dinner is hot dawgs n frozen pizza, all on PAPER plates.. A case of Pepsi, the remote and I'm set... buuurp

zilla... Judge Joe Brown Rules..
 

slo' mo

slower than slow...
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May 5, 2000
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I must count myself among the blessed. We coudln't decide on attached/detahed when we built the house so we just didn't build the garage at all. Instead I built a 16' X 20" workshop, complete w/7' garage door. Worked well for me because I also made the roof a 9/12 pitch and floored the attic. That's where I hide the Mrs. collectibles.

flash forward to last year - the shop was unuseable due to pet beds, feeders, etc... I couldn't use the power tools for fear of frightening the pets :think
I borrowed the money to build a 38' X 24" 3 car garage. Right now we are a 3 car family and not one of them ever gets parked in the garage. Dog kennel taking up one bay. Bikes and tool box in one. Last is a work space :)

Hint - I also floored the entire attic for more storage. Made the walls 9' which made it seem bigger anyway.
 
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