Wednesday thoughts!

[a454elk]

MAKES YOU WONDER HOW THESE PEOPLE CAN SURVIVE!!!
Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have an
order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets. "We
don't have half dozen nuggets" said the teenager at the counter. "You
don't?" I replied. "We only have six, nine, or twelve," was the reply. "So I
can't order a half-dozen nuggets, but I can order six?" "That's right." So I
shook my head and ordered six McNuggets.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
* The paragraph above doesn't amaze me because of what happened a couple of
months ago:
I was checking out at the local Foodland with just a few items and the lady
behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those
"Dividers" that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our
things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had scanned all of my
items, she picked up the "Divider" looking it all over for the bar code so
she could scan it. Not finding the bar code she said to me "Do you know how
much this is?" and I said to her "I've changed my mind, I don't think I'll
buy that today". She said "OK" and I paid her for the things and left. She
had no clue to what had just happened.....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and
pulling it out very quickly. When inquired as to what she was doing, she
said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card
number,so she was using the ATM "thingy".
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. Do you need
some help?" I asked. She replied, "I knew I should have replaced the battery
to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they
(pointing to a distant convenient store) would have a battery to fit this?"
"Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm too?" I asked. "No, just this remote
thingy," she answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As I took the key
and manually unlocked the door, I replied, "Why don't you drive over there
and check about the batteries it's a long walk.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Several years ago, we had an intern who was none too swift. One day she was
typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out of typing
paper.What do I do?" "Just use copier machine paper," the secretary told
her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put
it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five blank copies.

 

[DAVE C]

HaHaHa,

The one about the remote control door lock reminded me about something that happened to me last summer. I stopped by the mall to get fitted for a tuxedo and as I was walking through the parking lot I walked by a new Cadillac sitting in the middle of the isle. It looked a little strange so I walked up to take a look. Inside there was a lady that was crying and just plain frantic. I asked her what was wrong (through the rolled up window). She said she couldn't get out of her car. Her battery had died completely and she couldn't use the power locks to open the door. I advised her that right next to the power door lock button was a manual switch. She actually thought that she wouldn't be able to get out of the car! I don't know how long she had been sitting there, but judging by her condition I think it was quite a while.

 

[dell30rb]

LOL:)

 

[XRpredator]

Okay, I'll play too.

(This has probably made the rounds on email, since I got it twice!)

Top 7 Idiots

Idiot # 1
I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control center. Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She calmed down, and at the end of the conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants. I told her that she better bring her daughter into the Emergency room right away.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Idiot # 2
Seems that a year ago, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it out of the plane and home. When they took it for a float on the river, a Coast Guard helicopter coming towards them surprised them. It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator beacon which activated when the raft was inflated. They are no longer employed at Boeing.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Idiot # 3
A true story out of San Francisco: A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank
of America, walked into the branch and wrote "this iz a stikkup. Put all your muny in this bag." While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police before he reached the teller window. So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to Wells Fargo. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America. Looking somewhat defeated, the man said "OK" and left. He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Idiot # 4
A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that measured his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later received in the mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car. Instead of payment, he sent the police department a photograph of $40. Several days later, he
received a letter from the police that contained another picture, this time of handcuffs. He immediately mailed in his $40.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Idiot # 5
Guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but he refused and said, "Because I don't believe you are over 21." The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because he didn't believe him. At this point the robber took his driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over, and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and he put the scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with his loot. The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the robber that he got off the license. They arrested the robber 2 hours later. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Idiot # 6
A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers. The first one shouted, "Nobody move!" When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Idiot # 7
Arkansas: Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the
head, knocking him unconscious. Seems the liquor store window was made of Plexi-Glass. The whole event was caught on videotape.

 

[a454elk]

:)
Hey Pred, how's the nads!?
Elk

 

[XRpredator]

Passed the "field test" ;)

I'd go riding, if it'd quit snowing! :debil:

 

[a454elk]

Snow, now THAT'S funny! Guess it could come in handy, you could run out there in your skibbies and sit in the snow when you have an aching! :)

Elk

 

[RM_guy]

A local grocery store installed new cash registers that have built in screens. They have idiot proofed it for the stupid cashiers by showing a picture of the cash drawer, money and all, with the number of each denomination to take from each slot for change. Give me a break. This is the same store where if you buy 1 orange that is priced at 5 for $2, they couldn’t figure how much to charge. :confused:

 

[gibbs_6]

Geez people these days.:eek: :confused: