Why do we discard our old people?

[a454elk]

I have to flame this, not that I'm old yet but on the road to it. I have seen this too many times and it really pisses me off. The old saying still goes, "A Father can raise five sons but five sons can't take car of one Father".
Why do we as a society, discard our elderly. These are the people that have made our country for us. They fought for us, raised us and opened businesses to help us. I think that after a certain age, along with the handicap placards, you should have the right, as an elderly person, to park up by the front of the store. Why not, you deserve it. Just because you don't have a disability shouldn't automatically mean that you can walk 100 yards to the store.

We put our elderly in homes because our kids can't seem to get it together to help them. Don't they realize how important it is to them to be at home, not in a home. I for one, have made it a point to help my Mother in any way I can. Why not, she did it for me for my first 18 years, it's the least I can do.

I spent over 30 minutes one day helping an elderly man find his car in a parking lot because he forgot where he parked. To see the lost look on his face when he had no idea where his car was just killed me. That could have been my Dad somewhere.

The next time you grab that close spot next to the door, take a look in the mirror and see if that eldery person is behind you hoping for any open spot. Let them have it, it'll make all the difference.
Just my 2 cents.
Elk

 

[DAVE C]

Good point Elk. I think that a lot of it has to do with the fast pace of society today (ie. work, school, etc). People just don't seem to have the time (or rather make the time) to think of the elderly. Hopefully that will all change. I doubt it will, but we can always hope. My personal motto is "You can always make more money, but you can't make more time."

 

[kingriz1]

On this I agree with you one hundred percent!

You know it is sad I had a lady come into my store on Sunday. She was so sweet and old as could be. She needed to buy a twin size mattress because her husband is getting too weak and had to move to a nursing home. He always liked her mattress so she wanted him to take it with him to be more comfortable. (a lot of older people use twins to sleep on so they are more comfortable). I asked her where her kids were and she said they lived accross town and were married so they could not help much. She did not say it in a mean way or even upset at her daughters. Most people just accept that their kids wont help and don't expect it.

She broke down crying a few times while trying out different beds. Telling me she still talked to him at night, and he was not even there anymore. She was devastated. Her daughters were nurses too! I was so pissed at them by the time the lady left. I could not believe that they did not step up and help out.

She only had 160 dollars. I always have them try out the higher priced mattress so I can bump them up in to it. Higher yickets = more cash for me. This time however, I did not make a dime. I told her we were having a sale and I just did not have time to put the new prices up I gave her a really nice mattress for the 160. I did not make any on the deal. I actually lost money on that one, but it was so worth it.

In my culture, the parents always live with the kids once the kid is grown. howeer, that too is changing with the new generation of me kids. I think people are so selfish they dont want to help anyone but themselves.

My parents in a nursing home? Now while I am alive!

Sincerely,

Riz

 

[zio]

Ditto. I know how modest my father is. There is no way in hell I would let him near a nursing home. That's just plain cruel. Now, my wife's grandmother, on the other hand, is much like Maru's. She's meaner than cat doo doo, and won't let her daughters give her the care she needs, so she had to be put in a home for her own good.

Even still, I had my dad purchase a good Long Term Care policy that covered in-home nursing care, just in case.

And like someone else said above- PEOPLE MAKE TIME FOR THINGS THEY WANT TO DO. PERIOD.

 

[Okiewan]

Cause they smell funny?



JUST KIDDING! Good topic.

 

[Senior KX Rider]

Cause they smell funny?

LMAO.:)



When I was real young I remember my great grandmother living at my grandparents house and my grandpa lived at my moms house when he could no longer take care of himself. My wifes mom spent the last year and a half of her life with us. It is a matter of responsibility that many people do not want to be bothered with. VERY SAD :( :(

 

[a454elk]

I was trying to go without making a joke, even though I started this thread but Riz, your new name should be is Pillow Top Riz. I didn't know you were a matress salesman!:) Couldn't help myself, sorry in advance. Everyone has their place in society, and Riz, yours is laying down :D
Elk

 

[Patman]

Grrrrrr. This just burns my butt even more. See my grandpa is 98 and several years ago my 2 aunts (moms side) convinced him he needed to move from south Texas where he’d been happy as a clam for almost 40 years to Iowa where they lived since my mom had passed away. They thought it was TERRIBLE that when he would come to see us or we went to see him that I would allow him to have peanuts and some Irish Whisky when he wanted and that he was all alone down there. Cripes he played golf 3 or 4 days a week, ate with friends almost every meal, rode his bicycle every evening, etc… So they got him relocated then due to a little disagreement didn’t have any interaction with him for several years and he could see my cousins house from the window of the assisted living center they hooked him to. Now my other aunt has moved him to a common room place where he pretty much just shuffles around talking to ANYBODY he can find but at least she and her kids see him sometimes. Every time I speak to him on the phone I ask “Grandpa, do you want me to come get ya’?” and he says “No, I’m too old to make a big move again.” Arrrrgh! :(

 

[DirtFamily]

I'm the baby in the family by 11 years and my Dad is now 81!! (I'm 39) and he just recently moved from an San Diego condo, where he's lived for years, to Louisville Colorado (just E of Boulder) into my sister's home.

I got SO MAD at her...because she didn't want to have him there. She, her husband and 3 kids live in a 3500 sf home. They have 4 bedrooms upstairs and a bedroom and full bath in the finished basement plus living, family, formal dining, kitchen and bath on the main floor.....plus a workout area and sauna in the basement too.....my dad's been working out for his whole life and is in better shape then most 40 year olds...or 30 year olds for that matter....it's perfect for him!...But SHE's just worried about her schedule and how he's going to interrupt their life and how he's going to try to control her life...... not how great it is for him and the kids to be with Grandpa........

I would have taken him in if we had the room......At the time we had 5 kids and the two of us in a 3 bedroom rental..... Recently purchased a 4 bedroom home......and now he knows he's welcome any time........

Sorry about the soapbox, but I just got riled up:p

Katie

 

[DAVE C]

Patman, every old-timer deserves a sniff of Bushmills and some peanuts every once in a while, right? ;)

 

[Patman]

Darn straight!
I figure he's made it this far deciding whathe wanted to do and it's all worked fine.:)

 

[XRpredator]

My Gramma just turned 89. She still lives in the house where my dad grew up, by herself. Both my aunts aren't far away (one's only about a half mile down the road) and I'm only 25 miles away. She hasn't changed in the last 25 years that I can remember, only that she's gotten smaller (or I've gotten bigger :D ). She lives right, though, probably healthier than me!

My Grampa (on my mom's side now) finally had to be put in the assisted living. He's a stubborn old fart, but at least he's close, and we go visit him more now than when he was at home. I think my mother goes every day (smuggling in his cigars and junk food!) The only thing is, I really hate going there because of all the people that are so alone.

Good topic.

 

[Patman]

Pred' maybe your grandpa can help those that are alone by being their friend? That's what my grandpa did at the last place they stuck him in. Even had the family of one of the people that was bed ridden take HIM out for Thanksgiving to thank him. Now at this new mess they have him in he just spends his days going around and seeing anybody that will have him. 9 out of 10 times he's not around to answer his phone when ya' call.

You guys should have heard what was said about last years little Christmas care box I sent with all the "essentials" :p Don't really care what they have to say about me though as long as Grandpa is happy.

 

[XRpredator]

Hey Pat, trust me, my Grampa is a regular bull-s*** merchant! He'll talk your ears off. My wife really gets a kick out of him. She says he gives you a look "Like there's nobody home" and then he'll crack some smartass comment that will have you rolling on the floor! He's still a sharp one, just can't hear for beans and has some, well, other old people issues.

 

[Patman]

I think I need a hearing aid after using Grandpa's bullhorn magnification devise on his phone once :eek: YIKES I thought blood was going to pour out my ears.

 

[atc3434`]

You guys are right on, we should be taking better care of our older folks, they do deserve it. My folks and grandfolks (I'm only 18, so they are still in there prim!) will not end up in nursing homes unless it becomes life and death. We should be giving the right of way to the elderly, help them out when we can, give up our front row spots, etc. And its worth it when your walking out of the supermarket and there is an 85 year old women trying to carry an armful of groceries, and her face just lights up when you offer to help her with them! That always makes my day. Just like how greatful people are when you stop to help a car off the road in the winter. The similes and thanks are worth it all!
:) :) :)

 

[Patman]

Here's a Grandpaism for y'all. See being that he's nearing the century mark when he gets ill it usually holds on for a while and hits a little harder. So last time he got the flu he was having a difficult time controlling things if you know what I mean and so the assisted living people hooked him up with some "Depends" type products. Somebody asked him if it bothered him to wear them and he said "Nope. Actually it's kinda' handy and I might keep a few on hand just incase there's something on the TV I don't want to miss.". I guess when you've been around that long you learn to roll with the punches.

 

[chadk01]

I was reading this thread and thought how sincere and true it is. Most of my thoughts have already been stated here so I won't bother with saying the same things. I will say this, though we all have our own personal lives.......and bikes!!!!.....We MUST remember where we came from and who helped us get there. I show respect to my elders anytime possible and when it comes time (I am 28 my parents are 58/59) for my parents to need some help, I WILL BE THERE. They raised me and I know I put them through hell for 17 years until I left for the service. I have not lived close to them since, however, I vist when I can and stay in contact as much as possible.

Good Topic.

 

[dell30rb]

Nursing homes arent that bad! Not that I'd ever send my dad to one if i could help it, but my dad's best friend owns 2 nursing homes that have been in the family for about 50 years. His friend works his butt off every day to make the people there as happy as possible. I'm not joking, the people are actually happier there than they were at their homes (i'm sure their offspring were not as nice as some of the wonderful ppl here at DRN). Mayview is on a 25 acre propery that has lots of trees and trails for all the people that live there to walk on. For the healthier people that live there they have wheelchair races and such and they all play cards drink beer (for those that can without a health risk;) ) and have trips every day to all sorts of oprea's, golf tourney's and such. I'm not saying that this is the ideal life, but a few (just a few!) nursing homes actually try very hard to make life happy for their occupants.

 

[chadk01]

dell30rb,
That's great. It must be nice for the senior folks of your comminity to have a resource of such high caliber. I agree with your statement that ALL nursing homes are not bad, however, some are lacking in their care. I know this is not the same thing, though in a certain way it is.......In my town we have about 7 daycare centers. I visisted each one and only found 2 out of 7 that I would consider leaving my children at. I do applaud your family for providing such a comforting living space the elderly.

 

[a454elk]

Dell, This thread is in no way a bash on homes, that's for sure. They definately have their place and serve a great purpose when the time comes. I just think that most of the time, families want the parent to go into a home to get them out of their hair, and I think that's wrong. I've finally persuaded my parnets to move down here near me. I can't wait until they call and ask if I can help them with something around their house. I'm really looking forward to it and my 3 1/2 year old daughter will really benefit from it. The time they will be able to spend with their granddaughter is going to be priceless.

I'm glad to see all the responses in this thread and know that my fellow dirt riders have the same feelings and thoughts!
If you really want to make an elderly person feel good, try this. When you're in line at the grocery store and there's an elderly person next to you, pay for theirs, they usually are only able to buy the bare essentials and 10 bucks to us won't hurt one bit. It's not a charity thing either, just being a good person to someone that deserves it. I don't do it so I can go back and tell all my friends, that's not what it's about.

I have a room in my house that is more than ready to accomidate my parents or my wife's parents, hopefully not at the same time!:)

Elk

 

[Ol'89r]

Well, gee. My nurse just came in and said that elk guy was talking about me again.;)

I have to agree with you elk. (Did I really say that?):scream: Several months ago, I was in the grocery store and there was an eldery lady in front of me that did not have enough money for all of her purchases.

She only had a few things, but, was not able to pay for all of them, no junk, all food. I slipped the cashier a few dollars to cover what she could'nt pay for. The lady looked at me and smiled and got big tears in her eyes. She never said a thing, didn't have to. Best few dollars I've ever spent.

IMO, we should all learn from our Asian friends. They revere their elderly. They learn from them and ther lifes experiences. Here in the U.S., we put them out of sight as soon as we can. Maybe, they remind us of our own future. Not very smart IMO.

Anyone ever see the movie Blade Runner? Soilent green is old people.

Ol'89r

 

[a454elk]

It's about time you woke up you old fart!:) Now pick up those grocery bags and get your butt to the bus stop, 3 blocks away!
Elk

 

[andymstevens]

Some members of our society actually prey on the elderly.
Lightning rod salesmen, prize announcements in the mail, etc.
I'd like to kick some of those folks "right squaarrrr in the nuts".

My grandparents live in rural Mississippi on a dead end street. They've lived there since my father was a kid (I'm 32) and never had to lock anything up. Everyone in the county knows 'em because my grandad was the "gas man" for a local company (which went under and Enroned his pension). A couple in their early 50s moved in across the street about 10 years ago and the guy mentioned finally being able to "turn his wife loose". My grandad didn't think much of it. Well, it seems that they are both cleptomaniacal and most of what my grandfather had started walking off. This crazy bitch would actually come into the house while my grandmother was napping and steal stuff out of the cabinets. They caught her a few times and the police wouldn't do anything about it for one reason or another. They told her that she wasn't welcome on their property and she still kept coming back to "borrow" 5lbs of sugar or 5lbs of flour. After they told her not to come back, she started sending her grandson over to ask for stuff. Then, her husband started going into my grandfather's sheds and "borrowing" things by the milk crate full. After they told the entire family that they weren't welcome, (we assume since he wasn't caught red handed that) the grandson tried to set my grandfather's truck on fire by burning holes in the dashboard. My grandmother has always been a gardener and this lady even put roundup on some of the shrubs that she has nurtured since before I was born.

I remember when I was little, we never needed keys and could go and come freely at their place. It now looks like Ft. Knox and it angers me everytime I see the 5' fence that surrounds their property. I'd really like to bulldoze their house and make a nice garden where the house stands.:debil:

 

[meangrn]

This is for the folks that say their parents will never end up in a nursing home:I hope you have an 4 or 5 grand a month layiong around cause thats what it takes to have a full time nurse on hand,not including med expenses.And just think they are only a small blockage in an artery and a couple of heartbeats away from not being able to feed themselves,walk,stand,talk,move their bowels and bladder themselves or even know that you are in the room,so when you say they will never go to a nursing home(like I used to say)just remember it does get very bad and you might need the help of a nursing home.