Another Girlfriend Question...

[yzguy15]

Ok ladies, I've got another one of those girlfriend questions that I'm sure you'll all hate me for asking. But I really would appreciate it if maybe you could help me out. Ok here goes....

Let me preface by saying that I have the most amazing girlfriend ever. She likes going to the races, and seems to enjoy watching me race around on my scoot. In fact, she was actually willing to get up at 6 am on the Sunday after senior prom and drive several hours to go race that day. Luckily (for both of us actually, I was relieved in the end) the race was rained out. She also is usually not very timid. Her grandmother has some land behind her house that they used to tear up on go-karts (like riding faster than her male cousins and friends). Anyhow, I've been gently encouraging her to get on and ride off and on since the beginning. I honestly don't think that I push, or at least I try my absolute hardest not to. My brother and sister share a TTR-125 and we have a PW80. On the first camping trip she joined my family on she mostly stuck to riding the PW80, but since it is so small it was somewhat boring. The last day of the trip she tried the TTR. With 5 minutes of basic instruction, she took off on the FIRST TRY without stalling. In my mind I was like :aj: . I honestly don't think she realizes how impressive that is in itself. It took me a long time (like about a year) to consistently take off without stalling and she did it immediately.

However, every other time we've ridden she seems to be scared to death of the thing. As far as I can remember she has not even fallen over yet. We have ridden on peewee tracks, which seem to be fine, but once we get on any kind of trails (we're talking 1 to 2 fourwheeler wide) she tenses up.

Basically, what I'm asking for is some advice. Should I leave it alone? Gently encourage? I already found out that the tough love thing my dad used on me doesn't work with her... boy I'll never make that mistake again... I was in the dog house for a while. Can any of you maybe share some personal exeriences that would encourage her?

 

[Michelle]

Lol Eric - tough love on chicas don't work ;)
It depends on her though. There's the "no way can you...." motivator, the "you're doing great" motivator & it's finding out which works. There's also the other female motivator, or the new bike or even the your own bike.

I prefer to ride with other females, on my own bike. If I crash/fall (big difference) I don't mind dropping my own bike, but as soon as I'm on someone else's I'm paranoid I'm going to hurt it. When the guys were trying to encourage me to ride (or at least learn), I was not willing to ride their bike in case I hurt it. It wasn't so much the damage, as the fact that if I screwed it up badly it would mean the end of their day riding. Maybe your g/f has the same "fear". It also helped that I'm incredibly nosey & hated missing out on what they were talking about. I've been seeing that same reaction from some of the wives/partners of friends of ours - they're now learning to ride so they can at least join in the conversations. From memory, I think the biggest motivator was them talking about the deer they'd seen. I'd never seen deer in the wild & will never forget the first time I saw them. I still stop every time I see them, just so I can sit & watch them milling about.

I think you need to have a good talk with her & figure out if a) she's interested b) it's the borrowing a bike that bugs her c) if she just wants to be a pit chick. The other thing you could do is get her online & talking to us. Maybe we can help her with her fears or just encouragement. It's pretty much impossible to get into the mind-space of someone you don't know through a third person ;)

Oh, you telling her how great she is at overcoming stalling after five minutes of tuition - she probably doesn't believe you. Feel free to read this to her though - on Saturday we spent about 1-2 hours with my friend's 9yo (okay she was 10 on Sunday, but she was still 9 on Saturday) teaching her how to take off without stalling. She has been riding a quad (automatic) for about 7 years but it still took a long time till she was okay with taking off. She became really good at kick-starting the bike though hehehehe. She doesn't have it down pat, but she's doing okay. Even if you're exaggerating & it was 10 minutes, 5 minutes is good (lol, I still stall sometimes taking off & everyone I know does). We were starting to measure how far she'd travel before stalling. Heck, we thought by the end of the day she'd actually have travelled the distance we'd set for her to ride just by stalling each time lol

Oh, another thing I've found is if I haven't fallen for a while, I start getting scared about falling & then when I've done it again, I'm more relaxed. It helps when you don't hurt yourself falling, or if you do, it's just yet another boring bruise to add to the collection.

I hope some of this helps, but if not, sorry, you asked for personal experiences ;)

 

[LoriKTM]

This is a tough one. You'll need to get inside her head and see what's making her tense up.

You say she's fine on the peewee type tracks -- could it be that she likes being able to see where she's going, and not stray too far from the truck? Maybe when she gets out on the trails she is worried that she can't see what's ahead, or is worried about two-way traffic, or maybe afraid that she won't be able to keep up and she'll get lost. Could be anything. Maybe you can find a short trail loop that winds in and out of a road area-- so she can try out a trail but not get in too deep, or too far away?

If you keep letting her ride the track around, pretty soon she'll probably get bored with that too, and want to try the trails. Let her build up her confidence a bit more, and then try the trails again. Make sure you ride them before hand, and let her know how far it is, and what the terrain is like. Let her know that you will ride slowly with her, in case she has trouble.

 

[Jen TheDirtGirl]

I'm gonna keep it short. My boyfriend has to try to hold me back sometimes. I love riding and racing MX but if he took me to some trails I'd be just like your girlfriend. Me, a bike and trees are a scary combination. As soon as I have something like a tree that I need to avoid I am likely to ride straight for it. Ask her what's going on when she tenses up and let her find her own groove. :cool:

Good luck!

 

[Sourstraw]

This is just from my experience, but when I first started riding, and when some other girls that I know started riding, the two things they were most uncomfortable about were :

1. knowing how and when (and what gear!) to shift and causing a "burden" upon other people when they screw up

2. Falling.

I overcame both of these fears - the first one by practicing in little "playground" areas with a variety of terrain (i.e. sharp turns, mud, hills, flats, etc...). I would actually think about how I was going to shift before I made it to the "obstacle" and then I'd repeat the exercise about a dozen times. It was definitely a "baby steps" method, but it worked... now I am totally comfortable shifting while flying up a hill over rocks, etc... and it is so much more enjoyable when it becomes second nature and you just understand why you need to shift instead of freaking out about it.

The falling thing - I fell the first time I ever went riding, so I got over the fear quickly. One thing I noticed - when I started riding, I would try to go slowly through a tricky section (i.e. mud, or something like that), partially because I was afraid I would fall. Now, I know, that in sections like that, it is SO much easier to just gun it and fly over...I have fallen SO many times now... it is pretty ridiculous, I've had one really bad fall, and I was remarkably OK, and I dislocated my shoulder once, but it never really hurts at all during the fall - only some war wounds afterwards, which look cool anyway. :) Take her riding in some areas that don't have a lot of rocks, and when she has her first fall, believe me, she'll realize it isn't all that bad. My bike lands on me all the time, and as long as I am wearing the proper equipment, I always get right back on.

Speaking of which - does she have proper equipment? Boots make a huge difference in confidence... also, if you want to go the extreme route, which I did, purchase a Dainese body armour suit. Very expensive, but VERY VERY worthwhile. I have a full body armour suit that I wear under my Fox Racing gear, and the pain when I fall is next to nil. Maybe she needs to feel more protected like that and less vulnerable!

Good luck!!!

Stacy

 

[mtk]

Lots of gear and...

crash in front of her once or twice. That way, she knows that everyone does it. :)

 

[strawberry2278]

all i can say is that maybe you should go in a group....i kno it was already said but girls like to ride with other girls a lot of the time....i love riding with guys becuz i like the look on their faces when i smoke them lol jk jk...but when i first started i liked riding better with people who havent been riding that much longer then me.....or you could find some one that is "almost pro" to talk to her....just dont pressure her too much or she will just hate dirt bikes and that wqould not be cool lol...( maybe get her to hang out on here and talk to sum of us girls....maybe that would help lol) well g2g bye byezza

luv ya,
becki