ATM joke

[mx547]

ATM
Please note that Bank One is installing new "Drive-through"
teller machines. Customers will be able to withdraw cash without
leaving their vehicles. To enable customers to use this new
facility the following procedures have been drawn up. Please read
the procedure that applies to your own circumstances (i.e.MALE or
FEMALE), and remember them when you use the machine for the first time.

MALE PROCEDURE
1 Drive up to the cash machine.
2 Put down your car window.
3 Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4 Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5 Retrieve card, cash and receipt
6 Put window up
7 Drive off

FEMALE PROCEDURE

1 Drive up to cash machine
2 Reverse; back up the required amount to align car window to
machine
3 Set parking Break, Put the window down
4 Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to
locate card.
5 Turn the radio down
6 Attempt to insert card into machine
8 Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its
excessive distance from the car
9 Insert card
10 Re-insert card the right way up
11 Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on
the inside back page
12 Enter PIN.
13 Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
14 Enter amount of cash required
15 Check make up in rear view mirror
16 Retrieve cash and receipt
17 Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside
18 Place receipt in back of checkbook
19 Re-check make-up again
20 Drive forward 2 feet
21 Reverse back to cash machine
22 Retrieve card
23 Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into
the slot provided
24 Give appropriate one-fingered hand signal to irate male
drivers lining up behind
25 Restart stalled engine and pull off
26 Drive for 2 to 3 miles
27 Release Parking Brake.

 

[Moto Squid]

Give appropriate one-fingered hand signal to irate male
drivers lining up behind

hahahah...so true, so very true

 

[GETMETOCA]

That WAS kind of funny. The process forgot one step....

Review checkbook, get calculator out, subtract recent transactions, and figure out how much you can actually withdraw....This may include dumping contents of purse on front seat one more time, picking lint and hair off lipstick that cap fell off of in purse, wiping lipstick remnants off interior of purse from decapped cosmetics, reviewing photo insert in wallet, and finally, finding enough tissue to soak up 64 ounce Big Gulp off car floor from when you spilled it during first reverse.

 

[BadgerMan]

Somebody please tell me............why do they put brail dots on the drive through teller machine buttons?

Blind people can't drive, plus they can't read the CRT prompts!

 

[fatty_k]

26 Drive for 2 to 3 miles
27 Release Parking Brake

:)

 

[JPIVEY]

Originally posted by BadgerMan

Blind people can't drive

Yeah, then why the hell do they put those bumps on the freeway

 

[LoriKTM]

Hey, I only have to open the car door to access the machine because my arms are short! :eek:

 

[dirty~d~]

Originally posted by mx547
25 Restart stalled engine and pull off
26 Drive for 2 to 3 miles
27 Release Parking Brake.

LMAO!!! I don't know how many times I've seen this happen. :) :) :)

 

[tracerx]

I resent that, I rarely have to back up

 

[tracerx]

I resent that, I rarely have to back up

 

[tracerx]

just have to repeat things twice....we all know men don't listen