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Ordering Pizza ....

Tony Eeds

Godspeed Tony.
N. Texas SP
Joined
Jun 9, 2002
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#1
Operator:
"Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have your national ID number?"

Customer:
"Hi, I'd like to place an order."

Operator:
"May I have your NIDN first, sir?"

Customer:
"My National ID Number, yeah, hold on, eh, it's 6102049998-45-54610."

Operator:
"Thank you, Mr. Sheehan. I see you live at 1742 Meadowland Drive, and the phone number's 494-2366. Your office number over at Lincoln Insurance is 745-2302 and your cell number's 266-2566. Which number are you calling from, sir?"

Customer:
"Huh? I'm at home. Where d'ya get all this information?"

Operator:
"We're wired into the system, sir."

Customer:
(Sighs) "Oh, well, I'd like to order a couple of your All-Meat Special pizzas."

Operator:
"I don't think that's a good idea, sir."

Customer:
"Whaddya mean?"

Operator:
"Sir, your medical records indicate that you've got very high blood pressure and extremely high cholesterol. Your National Health Care provider won't allow such an unhealthy choice."

Customer:
"Damn! What do you recommend, then?"

Operator:
"You might try our low-fat Soybean Pizza. I'm sure you'll like it."

Customer:
"What makes you think I'd like something like that?"
Operator:
"Well, you checked out 'Gourmet Soybean Recipes' from your local library last week, sir. That's why I made the suggestion."

Customer:
"All right, all right. Give me two family-sized ones, then."

Operator:
"That should be plenty for you, your wife and your four kids, sir. Your total is $49.99."

Customer:
"Lemme give you my credit card number."

Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid you'll have to pay in cash. Your credit card balance is over its limit."

Customer:
"I'll run over to the ATM and get some cash before your driver gets here."

Operator:
"That won't work either, sir. Your checking account's overdrawn."

Customer:
"Never mind. Just send the pizzas. I'll have the cash ready. How long will it take?"

Operator:
"We're running a little behind, sir. It'll be about 45 minutes, sir. If you're in a hurry you might want to pick 'em up while you're out getting the cash, but carrying pizzas on a motorcycle can be a little awkward."

Customer:
"How the hell do you know I'm riding a bike?"

Operator:
"It says here you're in arrears on your car payments, so your car got repo'ed. But your Harley's paid up.

Customer:
"@#%/$@&?#!"

Operator:
"I'd advise watching your language, sir. You've already got a July 2006 conviction for cussing out a cop."

Customer:
(Speechless)

Operator:
"Will there be anything else, sir?"

Customer:
"Yes, I have a coupon for a free 2 liter of Coke".

Operator:
"I'm sorry sir, but our ad's exclusionary clause prevents us from offering free soda to diabetics."
 

Yogurt

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Joined
Dec 25, 1999
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#3
That's why I go to Domino's! :)

Actually out where I live, no pizza man will deliver. :|
 

Gary B.

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Apr 17, 2000
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#4
Funny, in a scary kind of way. :laugh: :scream:
 
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#5
Not far from the future truth ie the Patriot act and Homeland Security. Good post Mr. Eeds, I always get "take & bake", pay cash, keep a close watch out the rear view on the way home - them pizza guys - their in on it ya know! ;-]