Dec 31, 1969
'Nuff Said.


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Jan 27, 2000
:whoa: Pffftttt! :fft: Chuck Norris wears Ricky Carmicheal underwear. :nod: :nener:


May 23, 2000
Real men wear pants with "hidden gussets."


Apr 1, 2001
Did y'all hear a couple months back about the three teenage boys that tried to mug Chuck Norris (not knowing who he was) that he put in the hospital?

2-Strokes 4-ever

Feb 9, 2005
Chuck rides a 2 stroke. (with NO pants)

AJ Waggoner

Crash Test Dummy
Nov 5, 1999
Chuck rides a 2 stroke.
and he doesnt use any stinkin' premix either ,
the engine knows better than to seize.

AJ Waggoner

Crash Test Dummy
Nov 5, 1999
LOL Bill-
Daveeid was -


*you look but do not see , you listen but do not hear!!*

Remember how many front tubes he went thru at canyon lake because he wouldnt listen to either of us that yes indeed you really do need to use a front rim lock?
and was gonmna proive us ol guys wrong.. (and also break my leg LOL )

dint the shop nearby run out of 21" tubes that day???


(BTW that *dinosaur* lizard simon, passed away two weeks ago.. )


"Team Army"
Dec 9, 1999
Yeah LOL I forgot about that. "when the valve stem is cocked at an angle that dosent mean anything" har har har.I'll show you., About as funny as when he spun my 500 around when you put a wheel in on him. Now that was unforgetable.


Moderator / SuperPowers
Jun 9, 1999
whenfoxforks-ruled said:
Seagal could still take him!

Chuck would make Sissy Seagull cry like the little school girl that he is............

Because as said, too much awesome.


Jun 5, 2001
I thought at first it was Twinny in jeans but then that guy had balance...


Naïve Texan
N. Texas SP
Jun 9, 2000
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
Chuck Norris' penis is so large that it actually warps the fabric of space-time. Indeed some physicists now theorise that the passage of time is mearly a byproduct of Norris' colossal erections. This is known as the "Chuck Norris' big **** theory of space-time".
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
Chuck Norris could have any woman he wants, but he has never had sex. He only masturbates because the only person good enough to have sex with Chuck is Chuck.
Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.
Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris
As a teen Chuck Norris impregnated every nun in a convent tucked away in the hills of Tuscany. Nine months later the nuns gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in professional football history.
Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris
A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.
If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the **** down.
President Bush DID have a sure fire plan to end the war in Iraq, However Chuck Norris was busy that day.
To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.
Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
Before he forgot a gift for Chuck Norris, Santa Claus was real.
Chuck Norris' hand is the only hand that can beat a royal flush.
Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.
At birth, Chuck Norris came out feet first so he could roundhouse kick the doctor in the face. Nobody delivers Chuck Norris but Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas.
Chuck Norris appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."
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