Couple things to remember. You may STILL be faster than whoever is trying to give you advice. You'll develop your confidence again with more practice. I would advise you to be analytical in your approach. Some riders can push any bike to make a lap time happen, whether it's working well or not. The remaining mortals should do everything to get it sorted, get it right, before pushing the limit. The most important thing is getting your suspension right, before worrying too much about the motor. A lot of riders will have suspension settings too stiff for their own good. M'xers have stiff suspensions to land those big jumps. The rest of the time, you can benefit from softer settings that keep the wheels tracking on the ground. Are you USING all of your suspension travel? If you are not at least occasionally bottoming at both ends, you are NOT! You need to use ALL of the suspension the bike offers to be your best. A word about springs. For the most part, all you are really trying to do with them is set the proper ride height, so your suspension is roughly in the middle of its travel for your weight. The springs work in the same direction as your shock and fork compression damping circuits. Find the combination fork oil weight, oil level, and compression damping adjusters so you just bottom out on your biggest hits. You need more rebound damping than compression damping, since your springs work in opposition to the rebound circuit.
As for your riding, look for some whoops to help you find the right suspension tuning. What your are looking for, is a sense that the bike is coming off the face of whoops level, without a tendency toward nosing up or down. If you don't have the proper balance between the forks and the shock, as you fly off the face you'll note the rear kicking up, landing on the front wheel etc. In the corners, try and ride the back wheel, weight the outside peg.
Lastly, a bit of sports psychology I remind myself...some riders are natural, others like me are constantly thinking, planning, sensing, making decisions as we ride. Decide which you are...but stay keen towards understanding what the suspension is doing, AS YOU RIDE. I believe you will find that your riding style will converge with your tuning skills, at which point speed will be the natural result. An easy to ride bike is usually faster. For me, on the trail, I can stay with the fastest bikes on my easy to ride DR350. On my much more exciting (but demanding) KTM520, I'm fast when I'm not crashing...You get the idea :D