Welcome, new friend. This place is like the library, but you can shout and change your oil and no librarians holler at you. There's all sorts of info.... a good non-fiction section, good mystery novels, and if you're like me, you'll enjoy the magazines with lots of pictures. And your subscription is good for all sorts of other things, like field trips to Reno and Cooperland, coffee and donuts in the morning, tech support and foot rubs from Rich, and Pred and Patman do caricatures. You can even enter the psychology dept for advice from womem. Just don't fart in there. And don't try tipping with singles.
If your cat dies, there's always a fella like Tony hug you and stroke your hair. There's big guys like Pred and Papakieth to stick up for you if you're getting bullied, and if it gets bad sfc crash will go Apocalypse Now on their a$$. If someone is acting like a chain 'n' lube know-it-all, Jaybird will ostricize them 'til kingdom come. And if he likes you, he'll clean & lube your chain for you at dirtweek with his fancy gizmo.
I can't do much, but I can lift heavy things. And I can tell you all about Colonblow. Just whisper somewhere in here about bodily functions, and I'm there.
Lets see.... if you're hungry Nat will cook you up a meal fit for a king. Just don't get any ideas, I'm going to marry her some day.
And if you're need someone to bounce an idea off of, well by gosh this is the place. LIke if you want to be a woman, but just don't know where to begin, start here. I know it's scary. Do you chop off your weiner, do you just tuck....? Will everyone accept you? Do you go really fem & wear dresses and pumps? What about girdles? And bras? Aimee knows all about training bras. Do you shave your legs, or wax? Does waxing hurt that bad? What about your bikini line? What about the trap door? And do you go in the ladies room, or men's room? How do you hold a cigarette like a girl? If you don't smoke, it's not a problem. But you still have to hold your wine glass like a girl. There's all sorts of things girls hold differently than guys. Where do you go to meet people? I guess you have to decide if you still like girls, or if you like guys. Guys are great. We're strong, bring home the bacon, fix things and kill spiders. But we stink, cheat, and don't clena up after ourselves. And we don't have boobies. I don't care who you are... everyone likes boobies. Even girls. All of them just don't admit it. But you'd get to see firsthand behind the scenes what they do in private. Make sure you report back to us.