Perfect diet -- FUNNY!

junkjeeps

LIFETIME SPONSOR

Nov 24, 2001

671

0

• Aug 2, 2006

• #1

I have a Labrador retriever and was buying a large bag of Purina at
Wal-Mart. I was in line to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a
dog?

On impulse, I told her that no, and that I was starting The Purina Diet
again although I probably
shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital the last time, but that I'd
lost 50 pounds before I
awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my
orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that
it works is to load your pants
pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel
hungry, but that the food is
nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. (I have to
mention here that practically everyone in
the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy who
was behind her.)

Horrified, she asked if I had ended up in intensive care because the dog
food poisoned me.

I told her no; I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car
hit me.

I thought the tall guy was going to have to have help as he laughingly
staggered to the door.

 

B

biglou

• Aug 2, 2006

• #2

:laugh: Awesome!

I've eaten more than my share of dog treats. Once by accident, and several times to prove that it all mostly has no taste. Beggin' Stips smell great (like BACON!!!!!!) but taste like birthday candles. Hey, it smelled so good, I had to try. And any of the bones or crunchy treats don't really have any taste or smell to them. "Poisoned from dog food", lol! Generally speaking, if the dog lives on it, you'd be just fine! :)

 

CaptainObvious

Formally known as RV6Junkie

Damn Yankees

LIFETIME SPONSOR

Jan 8, 2000

3,331

1

• Aug 2, 2006

• #3

Lmao.

 

MrLuckey

Fire Marshall Ed

LIFETIME SPONSOR

Feb 9, 2000

3,715

0

• Aug 2, 2006

• #4

LMAO :laugh:

 

Jaybird

Apprentice Goon

LIFETIME SPONSOR

Mar 16, 2001

6,449

0

Charlestown, IN

• Aug 2, 2006

• #5

LOL...now that is funny!

There were two old men sitting on a park bench when a dog sat down not far from them and started licking himself real good.
One old guy said the the other; "Man, I wish I could do that..."
The other replied; "Go ahead, but be careful, 'cause I know he bites!"

 

YZ165

YZabian

May 4, 2004

2,431

0

• Aug 2, 2006

• #6

That's great Junk! :rotfl:

 

squeaky

Roosta's Princess

Damn Yankees

LIFETIME SPONSOR

Mar 28, 2003

2,561

0

• Aug 3, 2006

• #7

LMAO! That is HILARIOUS!!!

 

Brian

Stanbagger

N. Texas SP

LIFETIME SPONSOR

May 1, 2001

1,452

0

• Aug 3, 2006

• #8

here's your sign... :laugh:

 

Kawidude

D'oh!

LIFETIME SPONSOR

May 23, 2000

1,386

0

• Aug 3, 2006

• #9

biglou said:

:laugh: Awesome!

I've eaten more than my share of dog treats. Once by accident, and several times to prove that it all mostly has no taste. Beggin' Stips smell great (like BACON!!!!!!) but taste like birthday candles. Hey, it smelled so good, I had to try. And any of the bones or crunchy treats don't really have any taste or smell to them. "Poisoned from dog food", lol! Generally speaking, if the dog lives on it, you'd be just fine! :)

Click to expand...

I understand the Beggin' Strips...but how do you know what birthday candles taste like??? :ohmy:

 

B

biglou

• Aug 3, 2006

• #10

"Unflavored wax" is the analogy I was going for!

 

XRpredator

AssClown SuperPowers

Damn Yankees

Aug 2, 2000

13,504

19

• Aug 3, 2006

• #11

biglou said:

"Unflavored wax" is the analogy I was going for!

Click to expand...

whatever.

we all know you pack a pocketful of birthday candles around just for those special snack occasions. The wick is like built in floss.

 

Okiewan

Admin

Dec 31, 1969

29,550

2,239

Texas

• Aug 3, 2006

• #12

Okay, so either by first-hand experience (yes, I've tasted one), or tales from others, we know dog treats like Milk Bones have no flavor. So why is it dogs go nuts for them? Cowboy wanted a treat so much, he'd just start doing all the tricks he knew, before I'd even ask. Laydown, sit, roll over, chase his tail, standup, speak get me a beer and repeat. Many times, he'd get so fired-up he'd create all new tricks or do combo half tricks. If he saw me going for the cabinet where they were kept, it was on.. the performance would begin. It was cool to sit one on his nose and watch the drool hang to the floor :) Mean!

Damn, I miss that guy.

Okay, so the get me a beer part never happened. Getting him past opening the fridge never happened. :yell:

 

B

biglou

• Aug 3, 2006

• #13

My dad's dog goes nuts for the milk bones. How those can be that much better than her regular dry food is beyond me. But she goes psycho like you said Cowboy did, lol! Every day, I gotta play that game and hand her a half milk bone (she's small, and we break'em in half to extend the life of a box of them!).

 

Brian

Stanbagger

N. Texas SP

LIFETIME SPONSOR

May 1, 2001

1,452

0

• Aug 3, 2006

• #14

Our dogs get treats every night before bed, so they know the routine and start bouncing around as soon as someone goes toward the pantry they are kept in. My dog loves the milk bones and begg'n strips. I have tried a milk bone, but never the bacon treats. I just don't get it. Bedtime treats are literally the highlight of the day for our dogs. I wonder if it is the smell that they like, or what?